On the one hand I do believe that positive masculinity is a thing and not all masculinity is toxic masculinity (and I think this dichotomy also exists within femininity altho one imposed by men rather than by women structurally)

But also this sorting of behaviors has got to go

Like, there are men (rarely cis+straight ones...) who exemplify positive traits associated with masculinity, but also plenty of non-men who exemplify those traits and whom it would be wrong to label as "masculine" they're generally positive traits that can manifest in anyone

Like, "I want to get strong and swole so I can defend my community from fascists, even though it will put me at risk" is certainly positive masculinity since "getting into brawls" is coded as masculine

But also I know a lot of High Femmes who also have that trait.

And why shouldn't a man manifest a behavior of positive femininity, such as emotional openness and nurturing the vulnerable, these things are only coded feminine but there's no good reason they should be relegated to people who identify with femininity

I feel like rather than talking about promoting positive masculinity I wanna talk about celebrating the positive traits and behaviors previously coded as masculine, just as generally good options for how someone can be in general, and please do mix and match!!

Here's a list of cool positive traits people might have:

* Attention to detail
* Vulnerability
* Eagerness to volunteer
* Affectionate to loved ones
* Looks out for community
* Excellent cook
* Righteously speaks truth to power
* Makes other people feel safe
* Cares for others

Some of those are currently gendered, some aren't, and we don't need to differentiate which ones are masculine or feminine you can just throw them on your person in whatever combination you want

Especially since the positive traits associated with femininity are traditionally those which justify feminized labor which women have been historical coerced into violently. To say caretaking is feminine pushes that labor onto women

Basically abolish the gender binary

It is possible for men to be good. Good men do exist. Not all men are garbage. You can choose to become a good man. Also, abolish the concept of men and women within a hundred years thank you

Also since I know I'm going to be accused of this

I'm not dismissing the violence men enact on women individually and structurally globally every single day

I experience this regularly. Men have used me for sex and labor without my consent plenty. This is also real and Bad.

I believe in transformative justice and that means I believe people who have been raised to be bad have the ability to transform and be good and we should make space for that and believe in the ability to be better and accept those who have done that work to change