1/ Can we please stop making our “fighters till the end” the enemy when it comes to end of life care???

I’m tired of families feeling abandoned cause “no one understands us and they just make us feel bad about our choices...”

(A ranting/teachy thread)

#hapc #PalliativeCare

2/ When working with these families, please, shut up and listen TO them.

Listen to their story, hear their grief, sorrow, desperation...etc

Someone they love is DYING!!!

#hapc #PalliativeCare

3/ You don’t have to put yourself in their shoes to “understand them better”

You don’t need a deep level of empathy to get the basic human emotion of an impending sense of loss and absolute loss of control that a large portion of these families feel...

#hapc #PalliativeCare

4/ When they’ve said their piece...take a moment, collect yourself and then LOOK them in the eye and tell them...

“I am sorry you’re going through this and I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you”

Then pause again...

#hapc #PalliativeCare

5/ Expect an emotional response from them and LET them feel what they need to feel...

If you can (feel comfortable doing so) call out the emotion you believe they may be feeling...

“I sense you’re feeling “X” tends to work well

#hapc #PalliativeCare

6/ Remind them your role is to not tell them what to do but to be WITH them and explain to them what makes medical sense and what doesn’t...

And ask for permission to make a medical recommendation based on what you know...

#hapc #PalliativeCare

7/ A majority of the time reframing their “fight” in a way that shows you are in it with them till the end, makes partnering with those “challenging” pts so much easier

#hapc #PalliativeCare

8/ And in the end if nothing’s “changed” then that’s ok too!

#hapc #PalliativeCare #hpm