That's it, I may as well delete this account - how the fuck am I supposed to parody that?

In case anyone doubts that The Clash are my favourite band, I have double checked with Dominic Cummings and he confirms that they are.

Just got back from taking the dog for a shit - I am now cooking fish and chips for breakfast while listening to Brown Sugar by The Clash. I really am just an ordinary bloke. Wotcha mate guvnor.

Really looking forward to dinner tonight. We’re having oven chip crudités with a delicious Marmite dip.