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N: "Do you think that if someone dies in the hospital, their spirit stays in here?"
D: "Honey of all places to be, why tf would someone haunt a mediocre hospital in small town kansas? Like the least they could do is go to the murder house down the road"
M: "The what house?"
D: "Honey of all places to be, why tf would someone haunt a mediocre hospital in small town kansas? Like the least they could do is go to the murder house down the road"
M: "The what house?"
D: now what is something you don't do if someone is impaled?
N: if they're your husband, you impale them a second time
D: no.
N: if they're your husband, you impale them a second time
D: no.
M: what unspoken rules are in the ER?
D: well evrything has to be kept clean! Even if certain people can't be bothered about hygiene
N: if this was about last week, I told you one of my kids threw up on me
D: I was talking about the time u showed up smelling like weed but ok
D: well evrything has to be kept clean! Even if certain people can't be bothered about hygiene
N: if this was about last week, I told you one of my kids threw up on me
D: I was talking about the time u showed up smelling like weed but ok
N: I wouldn't worry about keeping up with people, sometimes some adderall will really put a pep in your step
M: won't that cause like an addiction?
N: probably but I'm getting paid to take that for free so really who's profiting?
M:
M: won't that cause like an addiction?
N: probably but I'm getting paid to take that for free so really who's profiting?
M:
D, walking me through a procedure: OK so what you wanna do is carefully cut open this here so we can drain the pus from it
D: don't stab it like N did her first time doing this surgery
N: it was one time!
D: one stab is all it takes to send someone from the clinic to the ER
D: don't stab it like N did her first time doing this surgery
N: it was one time!
D: one stab is all it takes to send someone from the clinic to the ER
M: sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out for med stuff
D: if it makes you feel any better, the only reason I became a doctor was so that I could get back at my ex and sleep with his girlfriend
M: did you manage to do that?
D: yup and as a bonus I slept with his sister too
M:
D: if it makes you feel any better, the only reason I became a doctor was so that I could get back at my ex and sleep with his girlfriend
M: did you manage to do that?
D: yup and as a bonus I slept with his sister too
M:
N: have you had the urge to kill someone but you're getting paid to keep people alive
M: I'm not getting paid
N: oh good, maybe you can kill this patient for me
D: don't actually do it
M: I wasn't going to
D: good because the last intern we had almost committed murder
M:
M: I'm not getting paid
N: oh good, maybe you can kill this patient for me
D: don't actually do it
M: I wasn't going to
D: good because the last intern we had almost committed murder
M:
I'll be adding to this as time goes on but this is what I remember so far
N: remember kid, sex is great and all but only with the right partner. Although you're young so you probably know all about thay. College students sleep with anyone these days
Me, wearing my space Ace tshirt: ....sure
Me, wearing my space Ace tshirt: ....sure
D: when it comes to top surgery you don't want to make them feel bad for the choice their making
D, looking at N: or be in their face and wanting to know all about their life
N: I was just asking!
D: they are just trying to live their life they don't need you being nosy Janet
D, looking at N: or be in their face and wanting to know all about their life
N: I was just asking!
D: they are just trying to live their life they don't need you being nosy Janet
I would like to remind y'all that these are actual conversations I heard and was apart while working in hospital back where I went to college
I could not make these up if I tried
I could not make these up if I tried
D: okay shadow, so let's walk you through appropriate medication counts
M: don't you just... Count pills???
D: absolutely, but certain people can't be bothered to write it down and remember when asked
N: NO ONE TOLD ME I HAD TO DOCUMENT IT
D: THIS IS A HOSPITAL!!!
M:
M: don't you just... Count pills???
D: absolutely, but certain people can't be bothered to write it down and remember when asked
N: NO ONE TOLD ME I HAD TO DOCUMENT IT
D: THIS IS A HOSPITAL!!!
M:
M: -listening to podcasts while I'm sorting through files-
N: hey kid do you think-
*podcast is about serial killers*
N: -slowly backs away-
D: Janet, if she wanted to kill you, she would have done so yesterday when you were standing behind the ambulance
N: hey kid do you think-
*podcast is about serial killers*
N: -slowly backs away-
D: Janet, if she wanted to kill you, she would have done so yesterday when you were standing behind the ambulance
N: alright kid, how do you find the vein?
M: if I do it your way, I stab the patient about 30times
D, from the down the hall: -bursting out laughing-
I forgot I had my radio turned on and she heard me at the nurses station rip
M: if I do it your way, I stab the patient about 30times
D, from the down the hall: -bursting out laughing-
I forgot I had my radio turned on and she heard me at the nurses station rip
N: hey kid can you-
M: -almost throws my phone in the garbage to hide the fact that I was playing pokemon GO-
N: WHAT LEVEL ARE YOU?
M: I just got to 30
N: ADD ME AS A FRIEND
M: -almost throws my phone in the garbage to hide the fact that I was playing pokemon GO-
N: WHAT LEVEL ARE YOU?
M: I just got to 30
N: ADD ME AS A FRIEND
We have a new person to introduce to this thread and that's the New Intern
Or NI for short
Or NI for short
NI: SHADY THIS PERSON CODED FUCK WHAT DO WE DO?
Me, eating doritos: Was it bread again?
NI: Yeah??
Me: This won't be the last time it happens, don't worry about it.
Me, eating doritos: Was it bread again?
NI: Yeah??
Me: This won't be the last time it happens, don't worry about it.
D: Hey, here's this label, can you grab the matching medication for it?
Me: ....I can't read this.
D, annoyed: It has the medication name on it.
Me, pointing out the Japanese lettering: IM SURE IT DOES SOMEWHERE BUT NOT IN ENGLISH!
Me: ....I can't read this.
D, annoyed: It has the medication name on it.
Me, pointing out the Japanese lettering: IM SURE IT DOES SOMEWHERE BUT NOT IN ENGLISH!
D: Alright Shady, you're patient is suffering from these symptoms, what do you do?
Me: Find someone that knows what they're doing?
N: -dying of laughter because technically I'm not wrong-
Me: Find someone that knows what they're doing?
N: -dying of laughter because technically I'm not wrong-
