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Hi @rioferdy5. I’ve got a few problems with your recent Facebook post ( https://www.facebook.com/219643781416878/posts/2626873987360500?d=n&sfns=mo)">https://www.facebook.com/219643781... about today’s Raheem Sterling incident.
Actually, I’ve got a problem with lots of the things your fellow ex-footballers have said about the incident (many of whom- have aired their thoughts on @talkSPORTDrive and @talkSPORT all day). But you wrote your thoughts down. Here goes.
The problem is, your statement on the matter, is deeply distressing and depressing when one considers what it says about masculinity. My main problem is your casual acceptance of casual violence. You claim that things like grown men grabbing each other by the throat...
‘isn’t uncommon in squads full of testosterone.’ Presumably you haven’t read research highlighted by people like #cordeliafine that seriously calls into question the popular belief that men are just blind followers to the whims and fancies of testosterone. Guess what? They ain’t.
In fact, if testosterone simply made us violent, why would we even bother avoiding violence? Why would we bother with anti-violence initiatives? Why would we bother with anything of violence was simply an inevitable by-product of testosterone surges you suggest are inevitable.
I’m also concerned by your suggestion that a grab by the throat is not a problem when you consider that you’ve previously seen ‘players punched in the face, ribs broken, nose busted, head kicked like a football.’ @rioferdy5 - I’m sorry you had to experience this. This was abuse.
Actually it was illegal abuse and bullying and it sickens me that you just accepted these things as part of the football squad experience. These things would have a life-long affect on you. But I’m telling you now. These things start with throat grabs.
That’s why Raheem’s grabbing of Joe Gomes’s throat is abuse too. It’s abuse because people who grab other people’s throats think that physically touching other people in threatening ways is acceptable. It isn’t. Just ask any victims of unwanted physical abuse.
I’m alsoconcerned by the fact that you say Raheem’s dropping from the England squad detracts from the good work he’s done in other areas. Perhaps. But men have to realise: success in one area, does not exempt you from having to endure punishment for when you’ve failed in others.
I’m not sure how many young boys will fully know how great you were. But their parents will have looked up to you. And their teachers. And they could be influenced by what you say. I worry for our boys.
Given the excellent work you’ve done in raising awareness of men’s mental health, I’d appreciate it if you could respond to what I’ve said: ultimately, I feel you’ve legitimised male violence in your statement.
