It's great that the internet helps kids discover people who share their interests (like furry), but its rise also means that the natural socialization that used to be automatic when kids would spend time with other kids locally has often been replaced with internet relationships.

Instead of learning how to relate to others in person, many kids are desperate to connect to those who express themselves well or seem exciting on social media. They're so used to the immediacy of internet that they don't understand why they can't just instantly befriend anyone.

And bless their hearts, they often do it with the best of intentions, thinking that asking nicely will get you a brand new best friend.

When their good faith but ill-executed attempts fail, they don't think "well I need better social skills", they think "What's wrong with me?"

And of course, nothing is wrong with them beyond being young, immature & lacking the social experience to be able to put forth enough to make people who have existing busy lives, relationships and responsibilities want to try to make room for them.

It's a tough lesson to learn.

All this seems elementary for most of us beyond our teenage years, but more & more it's teenagers finding the fandom, and this situation won't be going away any time soon.

They obviously need patience, but it wouldn't kill us to show a little more either. We were immature once.

No this doesn't mean we owe it to reply to the 20 awkward "hi" DMs you have, and I know there's that fear that if you feed a hungry dog, he'll follow you forever.

Most of us don't have the time nor energy. But any little encouragement or wisdom you can offer is more than none.

I wish I had time to mentor all of the people who contact me. I know some of them can and might blossom into great people given a little support.

But they aren't likely to ever be taught how to build effective friendships in a social media world without learning the hard way.

If you're young and frustrated because you can't seem to make online friends, it could be that you're rushing it.

Relationships take time and shared interactions, just both being furry isn't an automatic key to success.

The most popular will usually have the least time for you.

If you want to connect with someone, show interest in something they're passionate about, especially if you share a skill at it.

Listen even more than you talk.

Humor is your friend, but not more than respect & patience. A flower doesn't grow overnight even if you overwater it.

And for the rest of us who are used to rolling our eyes at the naivety of youth (yes I've done it too), let's try not to lose our compassion. We can say "they're too young to understand all this" and the fact that it's true doesn't change their reality or invalidate their hopes.

If we mock them and belittle their ineffectiveness and inexperience, we just encourage them to become the angry, rebellious types that are so desperate for attention that they'll turn to antagonizing people just so someone will finally pay attention to them.