i actually do not agree with this literally at all? yr partner isn't yr therapist but trauma healing necessarily happens across a spectrum of relationships. also the lineage of leather is very much grounded in (queer) collective healing of cultural & developmental trauma. https://twitter.com/MissHC/status/1191215946150694912

it is important that trauma is tended as harm reductively, consensually, and intentionally as possible:

it is important that the container in which trauma is being renegotiated is as clear as possible, that we titrate our renegotiation in BDSM just as we need to titrate in therapy, that all people involved are informed & consenting as best we can.

it is important that trauma healing happen in contexts & relationships outside our d/s dynamics and that we don't make our doms or subs solely responsible for doing or directing our trauma healing processes.

it's profoundly white & colonial to professionalize trauma healing & frame that as the only legitimate way to heal trauma. it's also simply wrong. any trauma therapist worth their salt will tell you part of our job is supporting capacity for joy & connection outside our offices.

leather culture, which was created by & for queer people, is itself trauma healing. that is what it is when oppressed people gather to create culture: ritual, protocol, caretaking, and intergenerational mentorship that nourish our survival under (TRAUMATIC) oppressive systems.

i have been in therapy for approximately 10 years, including 3 years & counting of weekly somatic trauma therapy. i have also been doing d/s for ~10 years, with increasing depth & intensity. both of these types of relationships have been integral to my trauma healing.

i am an ageplayer whose primary fetishes are directly linked to my intergenerational and this lifetime developmental trauma. my d/s renegotiates & rewrites & rewires my trauma all the time.

it's true that i have an especially high capacity to be on purpose about how my d/s touches my trauma, due to literally being a trauma therapist & having the extreme privilege to do a decade of therapy at this age. and, i will always believe in harm reduction over psychiatry.

i will always believe in orienting to the nourishment, coherence, and resilience of how traumatized people are working towards connection & healing, even when that work is not as skillful as they deserve to have the tools to be.

i think the message of the original tweet is misguided & dangerous, contributing the the shaming/silencing of trauma survivors.

we need to talk about safety protocols & skills for healing trauma with BDSM, not insist that somehow our bodies only engage trauma, especially for healing purposes, in the controlled professional environment of the therapy office.

i understand that very likely the OP is fine with people PLAYING with trauma in BDSM & is trying to make a point about not expecting solely your d/s relationship to heal your trauma. my point is, 1) d/s can heal trauma & 2) therapy relationships equally cannot solely heal trauma.

thanks for coming to my grumpy femme leatherdyke somatics practitioner race traitor ted talk