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i will say one thing i hate about claude von riegan
i will say one thing i hate about claude von riegan
1. he's ugly.
2. he showed up and stole my future position as leader of the alliance.
3. his hands are too soft.
4. he poisoned my father, who is the greatest human being to ever live and has never done anything wrong, ever, in his life.
5. he poisoned me and now whenever he looks at me i get heart palpitations.
6. he stole my picture of him, which is clearly because i, lorenz hellman gloucester, am far more original and creative than claude von riegan will ever be https://twitter.com/Starstruck_Deer/status/1192197044389048320
7. that is not the only thing he has stolen from me. he has also stolen my h
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ot pocket. he did so last month when i was going to eat it for breakfast. he took it from me, took a bite of it, and set it back down, and i cried
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ot pocket. he did so last month when i was going to eat it for breakfast. he took it from me, took a bite of it, and set it back down, and i cried
8. he keeps saying vaguely homosexual things in order to fluster me, when he KNOWS i am a heterosexual, thus committing blatant acts of heterophobia against ME specifically.
9. he called me his "pal" and it made me feel several emotions at once.
10. he has the absolute AUDACITY to look up at me with those seafoam eyes through his long lashes, with a sly smile gracing his features.
11. he pervades my waking thoughts in the same way a song gets stuck in one's head, his voice a graceful, dulcet waltz in its own right, his existence a performance.
12. his retainer called me ugly and it hurt my feelings.
12. (again) claude apologized for his retainer calling me ugly so now i have to think of something else.
claude is a dumb name
claude is a dumb name
13. even though i harass him on a daily basis, he still has the gall to attempt to befriend me, as if, if he is simply persistent enough, he can break the barriers that separate my soft and sensitive core from the harsh and unfeeling world around us.
14. sometimes i wonder if his lips would feel as soft against mine as his hands did. the thought simply infuriates me. absolutely disgusting.
15. like the crow and the pigeon, we are both kindred spirits and entirely different from one another. despite our differences, many of our experiences mirror one another. cast aside and neglected, we have both weathered ridicule and disappointment.
i wish we were not so alike.
i wish we were not so alike.
16. he makes me wax poetic. he is a muse i never asked for, but nevertheless, i continue to write.
17. he regularly receives positive attention. when he is upset, people worry over him. when he does well, people praise him.
envy is a disease, and oh, how it plagues me so...
envy is a disease, and oh, how it plagues me so...
18. don't look at me like that, with your eyes green like ocean foam, your touch soft like gentle waves that lap at my hands
i hate you.
i hate you.
19. he is too self-deprecating. only i am allowed to be terrible to him.
19.5. lysithea can also be terrible to him.
20. he is far too sad. sometimes i look into his eyes and my heart aches.
21. i still think about the look on his face when i brought my lips to his knuckles, and kissed them tenderly.
that expression was absolutely abhorrent.
that expression was absolutely abhorrent.
22. it's his fault that everyone thinks i'm gay.
23. he claims he does not care for the goddess, but when he stands in the cathedral, painted with the light filtering through the stained glass windows, he looks positively ethereal. it's simply unfair that such a blasphemous man could look so at home among statues of the saints.
24. he once brushed my bangs from my face with a tender touch, before ruining the moment and telling me my haircut made me look like a grape.
25. I'M NOT GAY, STOP CALLING THIS THREAD GAY.
26. he keeps gluing wheels of cheese to the underside of my desk.
27. i hate his smile, it's dumb and ugly, just like the rest of him.
28. he keeps too many secrets, and refuses to tell me any of them. where does he come from? what are his goals (besides ending racism)? he does not tell me anything.
29. sometimes, i overhear him talking with lysithea, and he laughs so genuinely it leaves me breathless. positively disgusting.
30. he pervades not only my waking thoughts, but my dreams. i have dreamt of kissing him beneath the goddess tower, our lips touching ever so slightly, my hand tentatively cupping his cheek as one of us gains the courage to partake in a proper kiss.
for just a few moments, our status does not matter, nor does the fact that we could be caught. a single intimate time, the moonlight illuminating us both as we share a tender moment that i will proceed to never speak of again, too embarrassed to ever properly admit my affections.
31. i am being held at knifepoint to continue this thread.
claude has recently taken to calling me a "fair maiden", which i can only assume is because he (incorrectly) thinks i am delicate and unable to fend for myself.
claude has recently taken to calling me a "fair maiden", which i can only assume is because he (incorrectly) thinks i am delicate and unable to fend for myself.
32. i anonymously delivered gloucester roses that i grew myself to him as an OFFER of FRIENDSHIP, and he did not even realize they were from me!!!!
he is so oblivious i hate it so much.
he is so oblivious i hate it so much.
33. he continues to call me "lorrie" in a futile attempt to fluster me. i will not be bested, but it is rather annoying.
34. i still think he is disgusting and ugly and i hate him but i am no longer allowed to openly say so because annette will kill me if i do
35. he has now poisoned my father a grand total of FOUR times!!! my father!!! who has never done anything wrong in his life ever!!!!!!!
36. i hear him rummaging around in his room at 3 am when i am TRYING to recite poetry.
37. if he finds himself in my vicinity while i am working, he will yell "GO WHITE BOY GO" as he passes by.
38. he continually asks me if i've eaten, as if i'm some sort of child that needs to be coddled
whether or not i have eaten is NONE of his business.
whether or not i have eaten is NONE of his business.
39. he keeps asking me to get books off of high shelves for him, to the point where at times he will walk in and request my aid in an entirely different room.
40. continuing from my last point, he gives me unusual looks whenever i'm reaching up to get a book.
i cannot fathom why he does so, or what those looks mean.
i cannot fathom why he does so, or what those looks mean.
I have chosen to discontinue this thread for reasons I am not obligated to disclose.
