healthy reactions to have when shit happens in kpop, a thread

song isn’t what you like
unhealthy: tweet about how trash it is and disappointment
healthy: well not my taste but maybe i’ll like the next comeback more

producer you dislike is on the album
unhealthy: i hate them
healthy: i’ll ignore that song and listen to other tracks

idol is dating someone
unhealthy: voice my feelings of hurt and betrayal on all forums
healthy: if i feel bad my feelings are legitimate, but i will either continue being a fan and respect their happiness, or disengage and find some other group/idol

antis spouting shit
unhealthy: engage
healthy: mute, report if appropriate, move on

[X thing] is awful and i’m breaking down
unhealthy: i will continue engaging in it 24/7 and commiserate with everyone about how awful it all feels and i can’t be stable without it
healthy: maybe i can keep my friends but need to step back from this hobby if that feels right

i don’t look like idols do and that makes me feel ugly
unhealthy: i’m going to change my appearance until i meet their standards
healthy: i can’t meet an unreasonable beauty standard, i am beautiful, and if seeing idols all the time makes me insecure maybe i should look less

all should be tailored to the situation and your mental health. sometimes kpop fandom enables itself to repeat toxic behavior at ourselves and sometimes we need to tell ourselves to think differently in order to recognize how unhealthy we can be, even as we have fun and enjoy it

this isn’t as simplistic as “it’s a hobby get over it”, but this is a hobby we choose to be in, and we have the power to just as equally choose to step away for however much time, if we recognize that we really aren’t feeling good. oppa/unni is great but put yourself first

also kpop fandom is a shitstorm of insecurities, obsession, competition, status/success fixation, unhealthy body image, impossible ideals of perfection, & being edgy fuckheads at other people because it’s anonymous so while we love this hellhole, it’s a hellhole ok