Once upon a time I started a new job right before Halloween. At my old job, everybody dressed up. We had a costume contest and a party. It was big time. At my new job, it just didn’t have that vibe. But dammit. I was going to dress up anyway!

So that Halloween I wore a full on clown costume. Rainbow wig. Red nose. Cartoon hands. Big shoes. Full face paint. Big v-shaped eyebrows and a giant grin. It was before clowns were creeping people out on street corners. But it was still creepy. I was a silent mime clown.

And everything was fine. Only ONE coworker dressed up. A QA Engineer dressed at Totoro. It was low key. I just sat at my desk and worked. Made it through lunch. And then, the CEO of the company calls a special Directors meeting. Uhhh... uh oh.

I’m suddenly sitting crammed in a tiny conference room with six other senior managers of the company, listening to the CEO announce that she’s fired my boss. I whisper to the Director next to me “this is the worst day ever,” and he whispers back “this is awesome.”

I want to crawl right into my giant clown costume and disappear. The CEO asks if anyone has any questions and I raise my cartoon clown hand and ask “who do I report to now?” The CEO points to the Engineering Director and says “you still report to him.” She didn’t realize...

I reported to the person she fired. The guy I now report to is looking at me & back at the CEO like “oh I get the clown?” The meeting ends & as I walk out of the cramped room I’m planning to b-line to my desk, grab my car keys and DISAPPEAR. Then I head the CEO say, “hold up.”

“Could you come speak to me in my office for a moment,” she says. Again... I’m in FULL clown costume. And the CEO wants me in her office. I’m thinking “I’m about to be fired while dressed as a clown.” I pause, then think “I’m actually okay with that.”

So I’m in the CEO’s office and she shuts the door. She apologizes for not realizing the person she fired was my boss. I’m so mortified to be dressed as a clown in the CEO’s office that I’m starting to disassociate and have an out of body experience, an out of clown experience.

I can see myself from above, looking down on the clown talking with the CEO. I didn’t move a muscle or breathe the entire time. I give short answers to all questions and pray each question is the last one. Then the CEO says, I shit you not...

“I’m counting on your leadership now more than ever.”

Ha ha ha ha ha! With my cartoon hands and my red nose I leave her office, get my wallet and keys and get on the elevator. I crawl into my car in the parking garage and curl into the fetal position and call a fellow director who missed the meeting.

She’s shocked to hear of the firing but laughing hysterically at my sad clown horror story of the special Directors meeting.

Many months later I hear the CEO’s side of the story, that she called the chairman of the board afterwards and said “I couldn’t get a read on one employee’s reaction to the firing.” He said “why?” She said “she was wearing a lot of makeup.” He thought I was just... dramatic.

Then she clarified, “Not heavy makeup, CLOWN makeup. For Halloween.”

On my last day at the company, everyone surprised me by wearing red clown noses at my going away party.

“We’re counting on your leadership now more than ever.”

#HappyHalloween2019

I’m still experiencing mild PTCS... post traumatic clown syndrome