CW: Abelism

I've spent this morning trying to book #assistance from @transport_wales to travel to work @WyeValleyNHS
Please wish me strength & patience.
I was told yesterday the #railreplacementbus is not #wheelchair accessible. Why?

Firstly, I was told I need to 'provide the dimensions of my wheelchair because if there's an accident with a ramp, TFW will be asked why they didn't have them'.
When I asked how I was supposed to measure my own wheelchair, I was told to 'get someone to help me'. Who?

I'm currently still waiting to hear if @transport_wales will provide me with accessible travel options. I really hope so. It's incredibly frustrating & exhausting to have to fight to get to work.

CW; Abelism, violence

I thought of tweeting a week of the abelism I experience (a thread) because I always appreciate @blondehistorian tweets. I hate all the awfulness she has to navigate but when I read the tweets, I feel less alone.

The dominant narrative tells me the abelism I experience is my fault.

Because I am disabled in a public space

But abelism and abuse is never our fault.

If you experience/have experienced abelism or abuse, I absolutely encourage you to take care of yourself reading this. Please don't feel you have to read it. You don't have to witness this pain for me, I am very lucky to people taking care of that.

If you haven't experienced this & are in a position where you influence travel & public space directly (through work or policy) or indirectly (in occupying it & your behaviours therein) I invite you to take care of yourself when you read.

I am asking you to process this & take action. I am not asking for sympathy or pity. I am showing you my experience& advocating for change
(As a therapeutic counsellor in advance training working with people with multiple marginalised identities, I am for trauma-informed tweets

this is a sample of day to day abelism I experience (predominately while travelling, because I Do Not have the capacity to tweet ALL the abelism, I can't tweet a whole week or all of it, so here are the lowlights)

Recently a @GWR staff member pushed my wheelchair towards the train I was about to board. He pushed me at a run and pretended to slam me into the iron posts supporting the station ceiling. At first, I thought he was genuinely accidentally too close to the posts.

I believed the first was a near-miss. Then I realised he was aiming me at the posts. His game was to pretend to slam my head & body at iron bars, while making noises.
I said 'that's not funny'. I was very scared & it was dehumanising.

Yes I've made a complaint.

About an hour later, I am using a stair lift in a public building. The staff told me operating the stairlift independently was "interfering" & would break it. They later told me they would "let me" press the button myself. Oh thank you! ::eye roll emoji::

The same staff member tried to strap the stairlift seatbelt around me. I hadn't asked for help. When I said no thank you. They stood over me and watched me do it. Was I uncomfortable at a stranger reaching/watching my hips & waist? Yes.

At a hotel after speaking at a conference, I was in the lift & a man entered the lift behind me.
He said, "Your wheels take up too much space!"
I was so tired. I was out of patience & platitudes.
"I have to take up a lot of space, to compete with men's egos", I said.

This wasn't a good thing to say as it put me at risk. I was with a colleague in the lift but she was risk too. It could have gone very badly. After all, “"men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” - @MargaretAtwood

Generally, I try to keep myself safe, so I just smile, "like I am holding a knife with my teeth" as @ROKwon writes so beautifully.
(Ref: https://lithub.com/finding-solace-in-the-words-of-furious-women/)

I was waiting for a cab in the early evening, outside my hotel. A staff member from reception was kindly waiting with me. Cab driver asked the staff member if I could transfer to the cab, he asked her to take my wheelchair back into the hotel with her (!)
Me: "No, I need it!"

I actually asked me OT for a solid frame wheelchair because I was fed up of men grabbing me when I travel and dropping bits of my wheelchair. I am very petite, men often think they can lift me (if the train ramp doesn't turn up etc).

They would - against my protestations - try & lift me in my chair. The footplates/arm rests would come away in their hands & they would drop them, startled (including on the train tracks). So I got a wheelchair that wouldn't come apart when grabbed.

Here's the thing: this isn't all of the abelism & sexism I experience, it's just a few incidences from 1 week. It's what many disabled people experience. I am shielded as I'm racislied as white & I have thin privilege. If I were a POC or visibly LGBTIAQ+ I could get more abuse.

This impacts my welling, future & work in the world. What do I want us to do about this? Know it is not only the reality, it's a tiny part of it. It's much, much worse than I have experienced or detailed here.
What do you do? If you are a passenger #JustAskDontGrab

If you are a policy maker - address these issues in our country.

CC. people I has discussed these issues with @NickTorfaenMP @wgmin_housing @Tanni_GT @Pippabritton @CatherineB201 @CatherineFookes
@FabianWomen @LordCHolmes @CarlyJonesMBE

Because if we are wondering why we don’t have more disabled people in #PublicLife, this is part of it.

If we can’t get to interviews, or to work when we get a public appointment, it’s a systemic failure. We can do better. We must.
@publicappts @publicapptscomm @publicchairsfrm @_peterriddell

I appreciate @transport_wales getting me to work today, thank you. But that advocacy took yesterday PM & most of this AM. This exhausted me before even starting work.
My experience today is symptomatic of wider systemic failure & abelism in our public services. Change needed now

If I sound upset in this thread, or angry, there are reasons. All this has an impact, the structural & psycho-emotional disablism (ref @Donna_Reeve http://donnareeve.co.uk/?p=724  ) means that I experience cultural relational trauma (ref @gwynnraimondi http://gwynnraimondi.com/culturalrelationaltrauma/)

Check out the research by @blondehistorian https://privateplacespublicspaces.blog/blog-feed/  & #ItsEveryonesJourney for further info.

In the week I've described, conversations with
@ZahraAshHarper @AraweloEats &
@AbiraHussein were a respite & shout-outs to each of them for the time, support & convos shared that helped me survive such a week.
& To Fozia for her amazing food & company.