ok boomer - you can lecture the youths on morality all you want but your generation was totally cool with *straight up ads for cocaine accessories*
There’s MORE
wow how convenient this wallet carries doobies AND a coke spoon!
They had an entire cocaine fan MAGAZINE and I am confident everyone involved at the time now has a nice fat pension, a McMansion, and lingering resentment towards lazy youths
Boomers were so chill about doing drugs that they would willingly do a cocaine-like substance called “Toot” that they bought out of a stained magazine
har har har: get it? do cocaine orally?

get it
Christ, boomers had luxury cocaine tools MADE FROM REAL IVORY so you could, as a finance bro of the era, combine exploiting coca farmers, endangered elephants, and American peasants all in one go

don’t tell Silicon Valley or they’ll bring it back
ha ha ha we’re white and it’s 1974 and it’s not like they’d send *us* to jail
I don’t even want to know why the “Frost-Ade Kit” is depicted with a tiny crystal elephant: there is almost certainly some hideous musky 1970s reason and I don’t like it
just normal bros hanging out - shoving mounds of cocaine around on our gigantic glass desks, secure in the knowledge that we will never know need or want
look i know many of you boomers are lovely people who did not do cocaine with elephant ivory spoons in 1975 but the uncomfortable fact is WAY too many of you apparently did
wow, thank goodness they had a remedy for that whole “nose rotting off” problem
this is one of the sleaziest objects ever made by mortals
they were able to PATENT their stainless-steel coke filters

you lazy kids - just patent coke accessories and make gobs of money like your Uncle Steve, the one with the boat he never uses, did
Cocaine....IN WOOD

thats the joke
It’s a NASA APPROVED means of doing cocaine in SPACE and fuck it was the 1970s, this ad copy may very well be 100% truthful
Here’s a convenient Cocaine Handbook! You just know that a bunch of these got donated to libraries sometime in the late 1980s.
“Free bass does not toot well.”

oh well I hate it then
“Fluff your stuff” for Christmas - make your snow grow! It’s so eerily chirpy.
It’s a TINY VACUMN YOU DO BLOW THROUGH - and we thought we arrived at high capitalism *recently*
why won’t it end
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