Delighted to hear @MargaretHodge has been reselected as the @UKLabour candidate for Barking, leaving her free now to campaign to make me Prime Minister, and put Britain’s first antisemitic government in power.

Thanks to his intrinsically moral nature, @wesstreeting has stayed in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and as a reward can now campaign to put an institutionally antisemitic government, headed by me, in power. Well done! #generalelection2019 .

Thanks to her feisty working-class roots, @jessphillips has had the courage to stay in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and as a reward can now make the UK Jewish community’s nightmares come true. Thanks so much Jess! #generalelection2019 .

Where would we be without @YvetteCooperMP who has stayed in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and as a reward can now wring her hands to her heart’s content as she campaigns to make a funny old antisemite Prime Minister. Well done! #generalelection2019 .

Thanks to his intrinsic guts and principled character, @OwenSmith_MP has stayed in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and as a reward can now campaign to put an institutionally antisemitic government in power... hang on... Owen?... where’s Owen? #generalelection2019 .

Thanks to his amazing capacity to find devious routes to good moral outcomes, @tom_watson has stayed in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and as his reward can now launch me directly through the Eternal Vortex of Shame straight into No.10! #generalelection2019 .

Thanks to her great empathy with frightened British Jews, @annaturley has stayed in the @UKLabour Party to fight antisemitism - and goodness, is now free to make Britain the first West European nation with an antisemitic government. God Save The Queen! #generalelection2019 .

It’s heart-warming to see how @stellacreasy has shown such solidarity with female Jewish MPs and has stayed in @UKLabour to fight antisemitism - thanks to her tenacity she now gets to campaign to put the most racist British government since WWII in power. #generalelection2019

A round of applause for @SKinnock who stood with Jews to say #EnoughIsEnough and is now fighting to make me-an antisemite-Prime Minister. What he meant, of course, is that he’s enough is enough of #JewsErmZionists cluttering up this country!

My colleague @Alison_McGovern cried when she heard of the persecution of Jews inside @UKLabour. Now she’s crying all the way to a Downing Street victory for her antisemitic boss. History will view you kindly when those pesky Jews are erased from Britain, Ali!

Stalwart anti-racist @LucyMPowell admitted to ‘shame’ at @UKLabour antisemitism and resolved to ‘stay and fight’ it. But riding in Tom’s Vortex of Shame has proved quite addictive, and she’s now campaigning to throw Jews under the bus. Cabinet post awaits Lucy! #GE19

Not so long ago @BenPBradshaw wrote that #LabourAntisemitism was “inexplicable”. Fortunately for him now, it is explicable-and he can explain to all and sundry why he is working so hard to make an antisemite Prime Minister. Congrats, Ben!

Congrats also to Lord Falconer: just weeks ago, Charlie said Pete Willsman’s expulsion after another antisemitic outburst was the Party’s ‘acid test’. Well, we abjectly failed it, but now he’s out there gunning for me, & sending the #JewsErmZionists to hell. What a great Charlie!