My mom is finally watching Game of Thrones, via DVD from Netflix—because apparently people still do that—so she can only watch two episodes at a time, which as a professional binger, boggles my mind.

She finished season 1 and called the finale “a real shockeroo.”

I legit can’t wait until she gets to the red wedding. She’s going to lose her shit. Lmao

Good news, everyone. My mom is just about at The Red Wedding. I told her not to watch it until I get there. So I get to watch it with her next week and I am pretty jazzed about it.

I asked my mom where she is in Game of Thrones. She says “the next discs are in the mail.”

I then told her I would get her an HBO subscription and she refused. #ABLxmas

My mom just put the disc in. “I have to get it ready to go.”

This is happening tonight after dinner. I wonder how she will react. #RedWedding

The Rains of Castamere. It’s happening.

Walder just asked Talisa to step forward. My mom says, “oh no, is he going to do her in?”

Me:

I’m very tense right now.

I kind of want to cover my eyes but I don’t want to telegraph anything.

Catelyn is about to figure it out.

My mom is stoic as fuck.

“Jesus Christ” and

“That was pretty wicked” is all she said.



Who is this woman that raised me!?

Nerves of steel.

Me: “You don’t seem very shocked.”

My mom: “I’m stunned.”

LADY, YOU DON’T SEEM STUNNED.

“Well that was unexpected.”

That’s what she said.

“Well that was unexpected.”

And my dad just opened one eyelid and said, what just happened?

I CAN’T WITH THESE PEOPLE.

She just said she’s very invested in Daenerys and that “when she goes, I’ll be very upset.”

LOL.

Well that seals it. My mom is definitely on my zombie apocalypse team.

Nerves of goddamn steel.

She wants Joffrey to go. “He’s got to go. He’s the worst.”

My mom: Who’s that kid?

Me: Bran?

Mom: Yeah. He’s gonna be king, right?

I can’t with this woman.

Now she’s laughing as Ramsay eats the sausage in front of Theon.

Dear god in heaven.

I convinced my mom to get HBO—the name of mother-daughter bonding.

I can’t wait three days for the next two episodes. This is no way to live, man

*in the name

geez

More to come tomorrow.

I can’t tell where my mom is in the story, so I try not to say much. But in S03E10, I’m all, “oh Ramsay has already castrated Theon” as Ramsay is gnoshing on the sausage.

My dads wakes up, sees Ramsay, and says “Is that it?”

My mom: His cock?

Me: Why are you two like this

I legit said, No dad, Ramsay is not eating Theon’s castrated dick.

Then he shrugs and goes back to sleep.

Lmao

I cannot

More Game of Thrones with my mom today.

My mom signed up for HBO, y’all. We start season 4 of Game of Thrones tonight! Joffrey will get his and she will be happy.

My mom on Arya as Arya kills three dudes in the tavern: “She’s growing up right before our very eyes.”

And

“She’s getting good at killing people.”

lol

My mom right before Joffrey drinks the wine: “Someone slip him a poison pill!”

And then when he kicks it: “It’s about time. Thank you very much.”

My dad: “He looks pretty dead to me.”

GoT Update:

My mom is super into Daenerys. “She’s no dummy. I like her. She’s very smart.”

She also understands that Olenna is 100% that bitch: “She’s a real piece of work.”

And how, mom. And how.

We were supposed to go to Sephora but Mom wants to watch Daenerys flex in Mereen. lol

Margaery is sneaking into Tommen’s room.

My mom: How old is he? 12?

Me: I don’t know. Like 13 or something.

My mom: Oh well he’s old enough.

Me: Jesus Christ, Ma!

My mom: *cackles maniacally*

She also dubbed Olenna “Schemer and Protector.”

Lol

My mom think Brienne and Jaime have a spiritual attachment.

Those are the words she used.

Why does she know everything already

“I’ve never done this before. Binge watching.” - My mom as she puts off Sephora for another episode.

Welcome to bingeing mom.

“Cersei is a wicked woman.”

Oh mom, you don’t know the half. She still has her hair ffs

“I guess we’re not going out today.”

lol.

My mom must’ve seen some shit in her day because she watches people getting swords shoved through the back of their skulls and will say something like “alrighty then.”

I’m calling Interpol if my mom says “alrighty then” after watching the mountain smush Oberyn’s head like a grape

Episode 7. My mom is powering through season 4 like a champ.

My mom is watching the Mountain slice fools up and all she has to say is “oh geez.”

I have my eyes covered. She’s sitting here like she’s watching goddamn Cinderella.

I can’t.

Daario drops trou: “So many butts!”

Cut to Melisandre in a bath: “And so many boobs.”

That’s all for tonight. We’ll hit the final two episodes of season 4 tomorrow!

Me and my mom. #ABLxmas