A morning thread for you

This morning we had a knock at the door. It's one of our neighbour's small children, she is knocking to tell us "he's stuck on your roof"

"Who?" I wonder aloud

Who do you effing think, I reply to myself, thankfully not aloud.

#Pickle

/1
Unfortunately, this is the point where we're leaving for the school run, so I can't do anything about it now. So we head off.

I'm back 20 minutes later. He's still in the exact same position. Clearly stuck. So, what to do?

/2
Wife is in work today so I'm alone. We don't have any ladders that long. Calling the fire brigade seems like an 'if all else fails' option, and I don't want to seem like a massive cliche straight away.

/3
Eventually, I figure I could feasibly go out through the loft window onto our roof and reach him that way.

Risky though. Roof is old and moss covered, slippery, probably why Pickle is stuck in the first place. It's also in need of replacement, so could it even hold me?

/4
I then figure that if I secure myself with a line to secure point in the attic, I could maybe lean out enough to reach him with a broom or something. So I gather the stuff I think I'll need and head to the attic, to rescue my ludicrous cat

/5
Get to the attic, first things first, check if I can actually see where Pickle is from the window.

I can indeed see him. It's easy, seeing as he's looking up at me from the pissing garden

He was never stuck, he was just enjoying the view, apparently

Dickhead!

/6
To top it off, he sees me, and, gracefully as you like, breezily climbs up to where I am and struts in through the window, to show how easy it is.

So if any of my neighbours were wondering who's yelling such coarse things at this early hour, sorry. But I was provoked!

/end
Addendum: I'm probably just imagining this, but Pickle now seems to be following me around, climbing on top of the nearest 'high" thing, and staring at me mockingly.

Fairly sure cats don't have a concept of 'taking the piss', but if there was *ever* one that was likely to...
So...

You guys like cats, huh? https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1187284559261511681
You can follow @garwboy.
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