Hands up if you're a strong, educated, and independent woman, but still need validation and reassurance every minute of the day THREAD -

I keep having this conversation with so many of my friends. There seems to be a pattern among women (myself included) of depending on

others to validate our achievements. We are measuring our worth in units of approval. To some extent, that's fine - it's human to want to feel accepted, and it feels great to have others say nice things about you. The problem, I think, arises when we discount our achievements,

strengths, and value, and favor that approval instead.

Everyday, you strong, independent, accomplished women are kicking ass at your jobs, you're creating, raising families, making a difference, and yet, you will not let yourself feel a sense of accomplishment if it is not

affirmed by others. Whether or not you receive validation should not dictate how you see yourself. You are already complete before anyone comments on you or on your work. Any praise is bonus. Don't wait for someone (even if that person means a whole lot to you) to notice you, or

to tell you your achievements mean something, to believe that yourself.

The second (and perhaps more poisonous) problem is being apologetic about our need for validation. Every time I have this conversation with a friend, they're like, "I need constant reassurance from other

people. *I'm sorry for being needy* but that's how I feel." That is absolutely PREPOSTEROUS. You do not need to follow every expression of your valid and warranted feelings with a retraction or an apology. Stop apologizing for having feelings. Stop apologizing for needing to feel

loved. You are not needy or annoying for wanting reassurance; but please remember that even without
reassurance, you are whole, accomplished and growing. Allow yourself to give yourself a little credit.

TL;DR Our need for validation is warranted; but let's try not to measure our worth in validation alone