I got Britbox and am going to see what this Midsomer Murders business is all about.

I guess I’ll start at the beginning. This is going to be dangerous. I can tell.

I might have to do a BBC Pride and Prejudice side mission. I haven’t seen it in so long and it’s soooo goooooood.

I get the sense there’s going to be a lot of white women traipsing about in the woods. #MidsomerMurders

I fell asleep before i finished episode one because apparently, these episodes are movie length. It’s more than 90 minutes. What in the heck #MidsomerMurders

But so far, it’s quaint and delightful.

Am I going to live tweet 20 seasons?

No.

Probably not.

OK yes. Dammit. #MidsomerMurders

Incest, three murders, a suicide,
a murder-suicide, and an attempted murder.

What is going on in this town.

On to episode 2. #MidsomerMurders

People seem to really relish shooting one another in the chest with shotguns. #MidsomerMurders

This dude just scolded his wife who had made and was drinking a Bloody Mary: “Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

The Wife: “No. I’m awake.”

LMAO #MidsomerMurders

Barnaby’s wife: “If someone doesn’t get murdered soon, you’ll get touchy.”

#MidsomerMurders

I feel like if I found a dead body, I wouldn’t stand there with my hands on my face screaming about it for minutes on end. #MidsomerMurders

This Troy dude is a bit of a dolt. #MidsomerMurders

I like how Barnaby and Troy keep having to remind people that “this *is* a murder investigation.”

These people seem to not even care that folks are DYING BY THE DOZENS IN THEIR SLEEPY LITTLE VILLAGE.

Serious Hot Fuzz vibes. #MidsomerMurders

I should start stockpiling untraceable poisons in my cupboard. That seems to be the thing to do. #MidsomerMurders

Well this episode certainly escalated quickly. #midsomermurders

Just started episode 3 and somebody has already been bashed in the head with a crowbar #MidsomerMurders #tweetsfrom1997

I’m Still processing Written in Blood. I figured out the shrink/book connection. but the AIDS plot twist came out of literally NOWHERE. #MidsomerMurders

I suppose at some point everyone does this. #MidsomerMurders

I literally have no idea what just went on in Death of a Hollow Man and I don’t much care either #MidsomerMurders

Stephen Moyer is in this one, about a decade before Sookie would be his. #MidsomerMurders

My review so far. Episodes 1 and 2 of season 1 were really good. Episode 3 was confusing and I didn’t get it. Episodes 4 and 5 were just ok. #MidsomerMurders

As people have pointed out, watching this show and trying to figure out which Harry Potter movie or episode of Doctor Who these actors were in is pretty fun.

I’ve also been playing “which Kenneth Branagh Shakespeare film was this actor in.” #MidsomerMurders

It’s quaint murder time.

“Oh. It’s you. Do come in.”

#MidsomerMurders

I just made delightful little tea sandwiches with hardboiled egg and gravlax and they are good enough to serve any detective chief inspector who wants to question me about the bizarre string of murders.

I bet you something is afoot in Badger’s Drift.

I should figure out what.

Time to kick back with some muscle relaxers and quaint murder.

It’s hard to tell who else is going to get murdered in this one because everyone is 100 years old. #MidsomerMurders

No one has been murdered in 40 minutes. It’s a nursing home. Everyone is literally one thousand years old. Somebody should’ve at least had a heart attack on the toilet by now. #midsomermurders

I got to the episode that everyone was talking about with baby Orlando Bloom, but you didn’t tell me that same episode also has a baby Tobias Menzies!

I’m going to watch it later.

#MidsomerMurders

Somebody stabbed Legolas in the chest with a pitchfork. Hate to see it. #midsomermurders

Two people poisoned at the garden party and hardly anyone even cares. These people are all sociopaths. #MidsomerMurders

And now someone else has been stabbed. LOL. #MidsomerMurders

So, to keep track: murder by pitchfork, attempted murder by poisoning, murder by poisoning, and murder by stabbing.

And I frankly have no idea wtf is going on. #JudgementDay #MidsomerMurders

And another murder—with two minutes to go—just to close out this episode.

#midsomermurders

Troy’s suits are very 90s Fox Mulder. #MidsomerMurders

it’s time. #midsomermurders

At first Barnaby is all, “nothing to see here! Just a spot of vandalism!“

And then someone finds a package of smoked mackerel in a graveyard and suddenly it’s muhduh. #MidsomerMurders

I fell asleep for a half hour which is just part of the Midsomer Murders viewing experience. So much murder makes me sleepy.

It took 40 minutes for someone to get murdered. Forty minutes!

Somebody bashed a super old dude over the head and left him in an open grave. That’s rude af. #MidsomerMurders

Two people bashed in the head to death, one person punched in the eye, and one person almost driven insane. Needs more murder. #MidsomerMurders

Someone got bashed in the head with a spade that moved so slowly towards her head, i was just like, maybe turn around, lady. But she couldn’t hear me. So now she’s dead from a spade to the head.

You gotta be on the lookout for slowly moving death spades. #midsomermurders

These villagers are constantly slamming their doors in Barnaby and Troy’s faces.

“Murdered? Really? What pity.”

*slams door*

And Troy always looks very “Well, I never!” But Barnaby seems pretty “whatever” about it. #MidsomerMurders

Why are these villagers constantly taking strolls down remote country roads at 2 in the morning and chalking it up to “a touch of insomnia.”

Get an Xbox.

#midsomermurders

Death by force feeding someone poisoned fettuccine is a new one. #MidsomerMurders

Back on my #midsomermurders grind.

Two naked white dudes have been found dead in crop circles. That’s what’s up. #midsomermurders

Seems like a good time for some lighthearted murder. #midsomermurders

Don’t put a dead body in a well. That’s just bad manners. #MidsomerMurders

It’s been a while, old friend

Why is the postman delivering mail so late.

Oh.

If I found a dad body, I’m sure I would yell “what the fuck” or “holy shit” or something similar. I wouldn’t drop whatever’s in my hands and stand there screaming. I object to this trope. #midsomermurders

a dad body

I meant dead body

I mean… #midsomermurders

It’s kind of hard not to murder people when you’re in the countryside. There’s not much else going on. You make do with what you have. And what you have is people who need murderin’ #midsomermurders

Another lady got got walking in the woods at night like a dumbass. I think the cop did it. #midsomermurders