“America has no culture”

No, you’re a retard

A thread
What is American culture? Glad you asked

American culture is so big and complicated that it will make the average person’s head explode. So I’ll chop it down to bits

First, let’s take my favorite. Music
We all know America invented the blues, jazz, rock and roll, etc

So I’m going to profile only two people and they’re two people you don’t expect
Scott Joplin. Musical genius

Known for popularizing ragtime, a style of syncopated music that only lasted only a few decades

Joplin was an American Romantic composer. You’ve heard a lot of his ragtime pieces before
He wanted to go a high art direction, but Joplin was too popular with the babes and died prematurely of syphilis

He never got to see Treemonisha, his Romantic masterpiece, get performed
Ragtime had a short heyday, but its influence remains. Now, most American pop music has some form of syncopated groove.

I’ve also done tons of traveling and noticed just how much other cultures’ pop music has borrowed from ours
Jimi Hendrix. The legend

Hendrix was like Beethoven in respects to electric guitar. There’s before Hendrix and after Hendrix

That’s why even in 2019, you’ll see a lot of music nuts still list Hendrix as the best electric guitarist ever
And like Joplin, he died way sooner than he should have. I can’t imagine what he’d be doing if he lived another 30+ years

Travel the world and Hendrix’s influence is undeniably global
The Great American Novel

Every American writer’s dream is to write it

But America also gave us such legends as American Romantic Edgar Allen Poe - father of the American short story

And Mark Twain, the great American satirist
Hemingway, Vonnegut, Lee, Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, Bradbury, Hawthorne, Melbourne, Walker, Baum, Whitman, Abbey, King. We got so many great ones

My bud @mcclay_roman will be standing amongst these guys before he dies
I have my favorites. You have yours

Yes, I left out some of yours

That’s exactly what I’m getting at! Americans rule for writing

I’m currently enjoying Jim Butcher a lot. Gary Gygax needs mentioning too
There are a lot of you writing books. Feel free to tag yourselves and link your books

Who knows? Will it be the next great one?

The Native American

First we had an encounter, then we demonized them, and as their numbers dwindled, we romanticized them, and currently, we’re searching for the truth

Therefore, we’ve come full circle in history
M2 - the Pirate

Sure, piracy existed long before America. But, can anyone do it better?

We romanticize the pirate because much of the writing about piracy was long after it ended. Plus, pirates make for wonderful stories
M3 - the Witches of Salem

Like the Native Americans, we’ve come full circle with the Witches of Salem. First, the events occurred. Then, we demonized them. Then we romanticized them

Currently, we’re trying to figure out what really happened

A common belief among historians is that it was a conspiracy to inherit the land from old female relatives who just won’t die, so they brainwashed kids to make up the whole witch thing

Believe what you will. And make a good movie out of it
M4 - The Revolutionary

A very common motif among more libertarian minded Americans

These folks glorify the Founding Fathers because their minds, their ideals, and their writings are what makes America great
M4b We have unarguably the most intelligent founding fathers in the history of any nation

Jefferson, Franklin, and Madison were not just geniuses, they were polymaths. No other nation can say the same about its founding fathers
M4c So of course they’re romanticized. We all know about the sacrifices they endured so we can be free today

Some of it is complete bullshit, like George Washington chopping down a cherry tree. It makes for a good story though
M5 - Slavery and the anti-slavery heroes

Slavery and the slave trade is the second stain in our past that still causes problems today

We have our slave holders, the bad guys, and the anti-slavery heroes like Harriet Tubman
M5b In leftist circles, John Brown is considered a hero despite the fact he killed people

The Republican Party loves to list President Lincoln as the man who freed the slaves despite the Emancipation Proclamation not immediately freeing anyone
M5c Future historians will attempt to be more accurate without politics thrown in there to cloud things up
M6 - The Western. Ah, the Wild Wild West, a part of history that is mostly fictional

Sure, the Wild West happened, but it was way shorter than people think
M6b Most of it was an exaggeration by East Coast pulp fiction authors

If you want to know the truth, it’s way more boring than you were taught. However, it makes for wonderful stories that still get written today

And hate to admit it, an Italian made the best Western movie
M7 The Bluesman

This motif appears more in cultural arenas more than books

What is the Blues? You’ll know it when you hear it. It’s pain and suffering, and loss, and as American as you can possibly get
M7b I myself have stolen so much from the Blues that I don’t even know who I’ve stolen from

The Blues is the basis of most American music. Jazz, R&B, Rock and Roll, and even Country all came from the Blues
M7c Musicians love to brag that they were directly influenced by those Blues guys from the 1920s

I call bullshit on most of them as most of us stole from people who stole from people who stole from people who stole from the Bluesmen
M8 The Gangster and the Jazz Age

The Roaring Twenties, otherwise called the Jazz Age. You know the story. Alcohol’s illegal so the Gangster gives the people what they want

Of course, things get out of hand and violence ensues
M8b Two of the best movies ever made, Godfather I and Godfather II, both had their beginnings with this motif and carried it out into modern times
Modern American Motifs

History doesn’t end. It keeps going.

Several recent events (recent in historical terms, not necessarily in terms of yours and my life) are turning into American historical motifs
We have everything from the hippie to the 80s child to the 90s gangsta who are being romanticized as we speak

Which one of these will be around one hundred years from now? You tell me
Now, this by no means is an exclusive list. These are the ones that came off the top of my head. I know I’m forgetting a lot.

Off the top of my head, let’s not forget Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Vietnam War, World War II, the rock star, the stoner, the boxer, dystopian futures

Martini. Old fashions. Manhattans. Lynchburg Lemonade. America is the world’s King of cocktails. Way too many to list

America also invented the Cocktail Party. You’ll hear British folk try to claim it as their own but they’re wrong. We beat you by 7 years

White Russian. Mint Julep. Sex on the Beach. Bloody Mary. Help me out here. I don’t know my cocktails because I usually drink the same thing

I already discussed the Roaring 20s and its impact on American culture

Most importantly, Americans don’t like being told what to do. Freedom is central to American culture. And this is a reason why Post Modernists and Globalists want to erase our culture

Props to booze. So much great American Lit was written on it
A4 And let’s not forget American whiskey, bourbon (a very specific whiskey), and moonshine

All played a role in cultural development, for the better or worse

I’m not talking morals here. I’m just talking culture
And one of my favorite things - cuisine

Let’s dispel yet another falsity. There’s no such thing as American food. I will now prove them wrong
What is American cuisine

The best way to describe American cuisine is by region. We have the generic American foods like hamburgers, hot dogs, Chicago vs New York pizza (yes, modern pizza is technically American, not Italian), American steakhouse, etc
C2 Folks think of pizza as Italian, but it’s really America as immigrants of Italian descent brought an old Italian dish over and altered it, making it distinctly American
C3 Pizzas come in two main types – Chicago style pizzas and New York style pizzas. Chicago style pizza is deep dish pizza whereas New York style pizza has the thin crust

A Texan invented hamburgers in the 1880s, and they’re now a huge part of our national cuisine
Germans really invented the hot dog, but like the pizza, it’s a bastardization of a European food to make it distinctly American

Hot dogs became a working class staple food. If you go to a baseball game, you order a hot dog. It’s just part of our culture
C5 The British should get credit for the invention of what became sandwiches, but once again, Americans bastardized them. So yes, it’s become our own

If you want a pretty fucking good sandwich, you go to a hole in the wall in America
C6 It’s working class food that will get you through a day of hard, physical labor. Because Americans work hard, and we need the calories
Modern barbecue, sometimes abbreviated BBQ, originated in the South. It originated as a way to tenderize tough meat

You smoke the meat in order to tenderize it and the magic happens between the smoke process and the flavoring you add before and during the barbecue process
C8 I’m probably already making someone’s mouth water, because American men take pride in their BBQ abilities

We make the best meats, because cooking meat is such a huge part of our culture
C9 Every region takes pride in their BBQ abilities, but the most famous are Texas BBQ and KC BBQ

Even amongst Texas BBQ chefs, there are four different regions, and each region has a particular way of cooking the meat
C10 I don’t want to start a flame war so I’m not going to state my preference

And of course, there are plenty more famous BBQ regions. I’m just listing the two most famous
Louisiana Creole. Tex Mex. California Fusion. Soul Food. Southern Food. The 3 main types of clam chowder

I could do a tweetstorm on each one of these, but I’ll refrain because I think I’ve driven this point home

But, I need to include one final point...
C12 Native American cuisine

A lot of people don’t know this. They’ve had Native American food before.

Thanksgiving is a National pastime. It’s when Americans get two days off of work and eat. Yes, that’s what Thanksgiving is. You get two days off, and eat
C13 Traditional Thanksgiving feast is turkey, plus tons of side dishes depending on the region

You’ve probably had mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberries, which is the generic Thanksgiving feast. Add pumpkin pie or apple pie for dessert
C14 Different regions will have different pies, like sweet potato pie or pecan pie.

Southerners love to add cornbread and collard greens, or macaroni and cheese

Each family has their own way of making stuffing
C15 Personally, I use apples, onions, croutons, and salt and pepper, plus whatever else I feel like throwing in that day.

Thanksgiving is when the European settlers were literally starving and the Native Americans came by and showed them how to properly hunt and cook
C16 Thus, Thanksgiving. A thank you to the Native Americans

Feel free to add any regional food you feel I’ve neglected

And if you’re an American chef, now is the good time to plug a recipe

The key to understanding a real American is a deep resentment to authority. "Don't tell me what to do!"

No, that doesn't mean we're a bunch of trouble causing anarchists. But Freedom and Rights are absolutely central to the American psyche
If you do not understand this, you simply won't get American humor. And on top of that, you'll probably be offended by it

You'll also note that the Post-Modernists and the Globalists are trying to do away with American humor
Many comedians today won't even perform at colleges any more. Once institutions for the celebration of dissenting thoughts, colleges are the worst place for thought freedom in America today

This, is because of the Post-Modernists, who have replaced comedy with “post-comedy”
If you look at my lifetime alone, I grew up with Airplane, Eddie Murphy, Blazing Saddles, and In Living Color, 4 that are too controversial to even come out in 2019

We've become so thin-skinned that I wonder how many true Americans are left
The SJWs, a sub-group of the Post-Modernists, flipped out when Dave Chappelle and to a lesser degree Bill Burr did their most recent comedy sketches

Let's be clear on one thing. No group should be off limits to comedians. Ever
Whatever happened to the "I don't like what you say, but I'll die for your Right to say it" people?

Luckily, we have cartoons. South Park and Family Guy push back. But since they're cartoons, they seem to get away with a lot more than human faced comedians can get away with
My wife and I see at least one comedian live a year

Half of them now start their show letting you know they'll be offensive. They didn't have to do that 20 years ago
So we are in a bad state for American comedy. A real bad state

I'm looking forward to the day when the thin-skinned are publicly ridiculed. As they deserve to be
Now that I'm off the soapbox, what is American comedy?

Well, it's as I was just explaining. Plus, toilet humor, slapstick humor, and embarrassing situations

Also before the PC Nazis took over, we used to have the best ethnic jokes
We had to of course change all those ethnic jokes to blonde jokes as they're the only people you're still allowed to make fun of

Don't worry. If you're out drinking w me, give me an ethnicity and I'll give you a joke at their expense. I remember when we MADE FUN OF EVERYBODY
I also have some awesome fart jokes. The 3 Stooges and Charlie Chaplin ruled for slapstick humor. I Love Lucy ruled for embarrassing situations

And also remind me when we drink to tell you about the world's most powerful fart contest

Awhile back, I talked about religion, and how I can't worship in a sh-hole church. I can't stand Post Modern architecture

Give me Neo-Gothic, or something else beautiful, or I'll worship at home

I took pics of ugly ass churches as examples
American architecture wasn’t always ugly. Thomas Jefferson started it off with Neoclassicism and this became standard for government buildings

Why? Because, America was the New Rome

(pic by Karen Blaha)
Over the years, we’ve developed or incorporated a lot of styles

I’m going to skip a few hundred years for brevity’s sake and go to the 20th century to show we don’t have to have today’s ugly ass buildings
@Sarcastic_hubby is a personal friend of mine and he’s one of the few I know who also loves Googie architecture

After WWII, Americans knew we were great and looked forward to the future

You’ve seen this style in everything from the Jetsons to the Las Vegas sign
Unfortunately, most are crumbling as they’re now seen as outdated and old as cynicism has crept in to this great nation

This style died down by the mid-60s
Art Deco - The French invented this style. We arguably made it better

The Empire State Building and the Chrysler building come to mind

My wife and I did helicopter, boat, and bus tours of Miami in May and I got some cool pics of Art Deco that I’ll include below
And lastly, I wanted to discuss a personal favorite of mine - Storybook houses. These literally look like they popped out of a fairy tale

Los Angeles used to have quite a few and the architecture actually influenced Walt Disney himself. You’ll see this style in Fantasyland
American architecture doesn’t have to be the soulless monstrosity that Post Modernism and its offshoots (like Brutalism) produce

I don’t want political power. But I’d love to tear down all this Post Modernist bulls- and build beautiful buildings again
I'd create buildings that inspire and make you feel part of a true culture

Post Modernism is intentional. It's designed to destroy the family and destroy the culture. The architecture is designed to create fear. Orwell understood this well so I'm passing this knowledge to you
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