Ayi no Uni stress has me by the naughty bits https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😪" title="Sleepy face" aria-label="Emoji: Sleepy face"> (A brief thread)

Today I decided that the best possible option to calm me down was to go watch a movie. Cool.

The movie I picked was Gemini Man with Will Smith. It was to start at 5:45pm, easy.

I go for food before I make my way there because I don& #39;t wanna have to rely on popcorn for density, I& #39;ve had a long tiring day chief.

I check to see if it& #39;s time to go and would you look at that, it& #39;s 5:32 https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="☺" title="Smiling face" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face"> my dumbass is late and I haven& #39;t bought a ticket.

I get to the cinema around 5:50something, decent still. Get my ticket and I& #39;m in the popcorn line. I order my stuff, had a brief interaction with the young lady serving me cause she was kinda fine, cool.

I walk off trying to catch the movie while it& #39;s in the beginning stages and as I sat down I realised, where TF is my popcorn? Ahh right. My smooth ass left it at the counter like an idiot - now I have to go out and fetch it https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾" title="Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)">‍https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♂" title="Male sign" aria-label="Emoji: Male sign">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾" title="Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)">‍https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♂" title="Male sign" aria-label="Emoji: Male sign">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾" title="Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)">‍https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♂" title="Male sign" aria-label="Emoji: Male sign">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾" title="Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Person facepalming (medium dark skin tone)">‍https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♂" title="Male sign" aria-label="Emoji: Male sign">

I fetch it, sat and realised again I have no straw.

Journey on again and walk back to my seat and I realise something else. There are people next to me when I specifically picked a seat without anyone on either side of me but whatever I sit. Few minutes later I moved to the next row I can& #39;t deal with strangers being that close.

I& #39;m settled now and I& #39;m watching this thing and something doesn& #39;t make sense. This Asian girl been in the club for too long and In comes Jennifer Lopez in the next scene. Jennifer Lopez? In a spy movie and she ain& #39;t on the poster? Aight whatever.

Some time goes by and I ask myself again... Haaayi no mahn. Why is Jennifer Lopez still in my face - where& #39;s Fresh Prince???

I& #39;m in the wrong damn movie.

I head out and find my actual movie. Bullets are flying, the crowds are panicking - and I have no context. I sit anyway. Did I not leave my popcorn in the other cinema room then?

I get up once again and go fetch my stuff. I get there - pick up the box, once I attempt to pick the drink it squashed and spilled all over the seats and people.

At this point I& #39;m not even phased by my luck. I apologize and move back to my cinema.

I get there and I have an urge to pee. I tell myself we will die with our bladder like this. I& #39;m not about to go out again.

I walk over to my seat and as I& #39;m maneuvering my popcorn box latches onto back of the seat and spills all over the floor right in front of my eyes.

I think it& #39;s time I pack lil bag of tricks and call it a night before people get hurt.

**my lil bag