i’m gonna start a thread of the stuff i hear at college
“okay i’m gonna take a selfie don’t look”
“it’s week three so start skipping now because the later weeks are more important”
“i don’t know if i like him or if i just miss feeling something”
okay this isn’t something i heard but i’m in the restroom and a girl is dry shaving her legs in the stall next to me i’m ???
“first of all, fruit SMACKS”
“i’m going to marry a kennedy, have kids, and then the kids will be president”

“aren’t all the kennedy’s dead”

“wait really?? i wanted to marry rich”
“can you stop making noise”

“sorry i’m cold”

“i don’t care”
“have you done the readings?”

“we have readings??”

“sis...yes...what about your text book?”

“WE HAVE A BOOK??”

“YES DUDE ITS WEEK 6”
“lorraine serious question. i have a class at 9:30 am so if i make a smoothie in the morning while you’re sleeping would you get pissed off or should i just make it in the bathroom?”
*in bio lecture*

“discuss your favorite GENE? i don’t even know what genes there are”

“my favorite gene is gene block”
*talking about mindless eating*

“my grandpa does that but it’s really bad...he had a heart attack”

“GABBY”

“IM SORRY HES FINE NOW”
“there’s a muscle in my ass and it’s doing the tango. i hate sciatica.”
“a thong is just food for the ass”
“it’s really cool how you guys had retreats in high school. the closest thing we had was calculus camp.”
*in the elevator*

“what floor?”

“two. i’m so sorry.”
“i didn’t know vermont was a state??”

“wtf did you think it was”

“like a capital”

“OF WHAT”
“you gotta have the white colonizer mentality. if you want anything, you just take anything.”
side note this was said by a white girl explaining something to her poc friend i gasped
“guys what if my sciatica flares up during sex”
"i WISH someone from arizona tried to talk bad about california. what do y& #39;all have, sand and 120 degree weather? mmm"
“so we went to century city mall”

“there was a shooting there a couple weeks ago”

“okay but they would’ve gone for the rich, not us”
*after taking bio midterm*

“this curve better be THICKER THAN NICKI MINAJ”
“i’m excited for third year because we’re gonna get a bunch of transfers. it’s like the founders effect in bio”
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