One of the funniest things about being a peaceful person is others mischaracterize you as weak.

As if being addicted to drama and mentally rehearsing battles all day with fantasy enemies is some kind a super power.

If I ever feel myself going into fight- flight-freeze from comments someone made on social media it’s time for me to put my phone down, feel my emotions, tune into my body and ask what do I need. To ask myself what story am I creating in my mind right now that is it real?

The story might sound like, no one is listening to me or people are intentionally misunderstanding me.

I’ll ask, ok if that’s true what’s so bad about that? I’ll tune into my body and recognize that even if these feelings are uncomfortable that it’s not a time to fight or flee.

I can use my awareness to shift my breath and to find more coherence in my heart and mind. This immediately brings me back to a state of peace.

This is what emotional regulation and healing the nervous system work looks like. It’s a daily practice.

I remember in that moment the person that I thought I needed to check, just wants my attention, validation and my energy.

And is going about getting “love” in the way that feels familiar to them , which is through being in a control drama.

Not allowing others to have open access to your energy through drama and imaginary conflict is an actual super power.

To discern the difference between a control drama and a situation that deserves your attention, leave it for awhile and come back when you’re not triggered. If you feel compelled to reply let it be from a place of integrity not from your trauma. This is how you break abuse cycles

There will always be those who enjoy triggering a reaction from others.

They search for any small blind spot or weakness and this is where they direct their bullying.

You don’t need to send them love or hate. Just neutralize this energy.