All right. I’m watching DS9 6x19 - In the Pale Moonlight #DS9 #StarTrek I’ve been told this episode is gonna make me lose my mind and I’m ready

The opening confession is some serious shit. Casualty list. That’s some real fucked shit. I hate this war so much

Romulan treaty is probably gonna be some bad shit. Also? Julian is talking about the Romulans joining the Federation first! Damn.

Hell Yeah Sisko — bring the Romulans into the war. But how!! How’s he gonna do it!!

This homophobic app better not kick me off while I’m live tweeting this shit. Jadzia and sisko’s dynamic is some good shit! Jadzia is role playing the Romulan energy real well. I love the two of them

Ohhh shit their plans are buried on Cardassia Prime. And now they’re gonna bring on Garak. THIS BITCH.... “I must say I’m flattered, Captain” BRING ON THE GAY DRAMA BABY

Hey it’s my favorite queer in space; a horrifyingly competent assassin/spy ready to throw some shit down. “It’s more like a suicide mission” ooooh shit.

Now Sisko’s asking for Garak to ask for a favor. oh shit! OH DAMN

GODDAMN THIS IS SO GOOD IF GARAK IS SAYING ITS GOING TO BE BLOODY IT MEANS THAT SHIT GONNA BE bloody BLOODY

Now it’s time to tell Garak about the Romulans. AND GARAK IS LIKE YES BITCH IM IN how the fuck does this guy manage to keep his wildly queer bitchy sassy attitude going at all costs

The invasion of Betazed hmm. Oh damn that’s not good. Oh! And now they’re in a positions to threaten Vulcan and other shit. Oh my god. This is not good. I’m so worried

THEY ARE TALKING WHILE GARAK IS ALTERING SHIT I am gonna LOSE MY GAy ass mind LOOK AT THIS FUCKING QUEER SPY I FUCKING STAN

“That sounds like progress to me”

“Doesn’t it? Unfortunately, they’re all dead now

Jesus CHRIST shsjjsjsjajaksjkanskak

Wow. When Garak’s emotions show they SHOW this is such a tell on his part and it’s rare. Goddamn. Andy Robinson is the fucking GOAT

Ohhhhhhhhh shit and now. Shit. Also Garak is wearing red!! War!!! And how did he get this information?!

“There are some things I’d rather not discuss. May I continue?”

AN OFFICIAL CARDASSIAN TRANSCRIPT ROD I AM GONNA JSKSKSKSKSKSJJSDJOEJEKDKD I AM GONNA LOSE MY ENTIRE GODDAMN SHIT

HE IS WORKING ON THIS IN HIS TAILOR SHOP I CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE THIS. I NEED TO FUCKING BReAthe Garak has done all this intergalactic work in THREE DAYS WHILE IRONING GARMENTS WHAT THE

FUCK

Now he’s freaking out about Garak? Oh no. WOW JUST THE MENTION OF GARAK MAKES THIS BLUE ALIEN PAUSE HIS SHIT AND LOSE HIS MIND I — am — FREAKING the fuck OUT

I’m pausing this occasionally to watch and make content so bear with me

Oh. Sisko is coming face to face with the fact that he’s — what?! Somebody just tried to kill Quark!! The FUCK!? Hands off my Ferengi !!!! And Odo is freaking out a bit

Goddamn. Quark is gonna press charges and Sisko is out here gonna PAY HIM A BRIBE IN ORDER FOR HIM NOT TO PRESS CHARGES “captain, I’ve always liked you” ajskajskajsk

QUARK YOU SLY WILY FERENGI. look at how much he’s enjoying getting a bribe - “every man has his price” OH SHIT OH SHIT

Sisko is getting real. Wow. Holy shit. The casualty lists. Fuck

Whew everyone please take a look at my favorite spy’s FIT. This is a fit

Me and @thisismewhatevs are live texting as well - Garak’s outfits are indeed 20/10

Garak told him there’s a bomb in the door. Fuck. MINU-SHE kajskwksks. Wow

GARAK IS HOLDING THE FUCKING LINE AT THIS SHIT AND SISKO DOES NOT FUCKING GET IT AT ALL HOLY SHIT

The quantity is up for negotiation. Now it’s up with Bashir ...

Bashir is gonna clap back!!!! And he says he’s going to be filing a protest!??!’ BITCH I don’t think you wanna be knowing what is going on here

Now it’s the HOLOGRAM OF EVERYTHING WITH WEYOUN AND THE CARDASSIANS BIIIITCH FUCK GARAK IS DOING THIS WHOLE SHIT WITH PETTY BICKERING AND MUTUAL LOATHING

@thisismewhatevs pointed out that there’s no rational reason for @exiledElimGarak to be wearing five outfits in this episode other than just to make sure no one forgets he’s That Bitch™

SISKO IS SLAMMING HIM AGAINST THIS WALL. EXCUSE ME. Garak threatening to come by and say hello!? Bitch. The drama. The acting. The choices. The sets. The clothes. I’m — I’m shook

There’s no reason for Garak to have changed again yet he has. He’s that bitch here to fuck too up. Also Sisko is rocking this look. Boys, let’s fuck it up

HERE COME THE ROMULANS. THIS bitch is setting off the WHOLE ENTIRE FUSE FROM THE GET GO

Sisko going in for the allies right away. Damn

Garak was right about the attitude of this Romulan senator whose name I’ve already forgotten. He’s talking a bit ass game

This little petty bitch I’m ready to see his ass get handed to him hope it happens real fucking soon

“What if I told you that the Dominion is planning a sneak attack on the Romulan Empire at this very minute?”

“I’d want proof”

OH

SHIT

OHHHHHH SHIT IT IS TIME FOR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. WHAT IS GONNA SAY. HE WANTS TO EXAMINE THE DATA ROD

SO FAR EVERY LAST BIT OF THIS HAS PLAYED OUT EXACTLY AS GARAK SAID IT WOULD AND HERE WE FUCKIN ARE BITCH. I AM LOSING MY MIND. LOSING IT. FULL ON FERAL

Now Sisko is waiting and trying to catch up on his paperwork and reports while all these people are dying. He’s pacing. He’s staring out the window. “Worry and doubt are the greatest enemies of a great chef.” Damn

THE STAKES ARE SO HIGH. He goes back to check it out. “It’s a fake!” NOOOOOOOO WHAT NO ASJOAKSKAJSKSKSKKS AAAAAHHH

OH GOD IT DIDNT WORK!? HE LEFT?! OH MY GOD WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! Romulan shuttle carrying a senator has been destroyed!??! OH MY GOD ITS SABOTAGE

OH MY GOD HE IS GOING TO GARAK WHAT THE FUCK —- HE Slapped GARAK AND — OH MY GOD GARAK SET IT ALL UP TO KILL THE SENATOR I AM

Sisko slapped Garak so hard he about took that Cardassian issued wig off his fuckin head BITCH I AM

Bitch you wanted a fucking job done and you asked the ex black ops Obsidian Order spy to help you and not only did he help you but he completely outclassed you and RAN LITERAL CIRCLES AROUND YOU TO BOMB A DIPLOMATIC ENVOY AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE DOMINION

BITCH I AM OUT OF MY MIND

ALSO HE IS IN A NEW OUTFIT

Bitch — I am fucking shook to my entire core. The foundations of my life have been turned upside down. The power this has, the implications that this has, the intergalactic influence that this has

“That’s why you came to me, isn’t it, captain?” Because you knew that I, the Cardassian ex-Obsidian Order black ops assassin spy, would make it fucking happen for you. BY THE WAY YOU ARE WELCOME BITCH

And now sisko’s speech. He did it all. He can live with it. And if he had to do it all over again, he would. DAMN

Holy fucking shit I was NOT prepared for this episode. Not prepared. Computer - erase that entire personal log.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH

Sisko to Garak: hey can you help me get the Romulans to enter the war against the Dominion and can we do it my way without murdering a bunch of people?

Garak:

Bitch I am like. I need the fucking declassified dossiers of Garak’s spy career. I can’t believe this shit. This is some wild ass fucking shit

My voice hurts from screaming at my television through this episode. I am. I can’t believe it

Garak: All it cost was one senator, one criminal, and the self respect of one Starfleet officer. A bargain. #DS9 #StarTrek