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50 Times West Ham Went Full West Ham.
A thread:
A thread:
#50
In 1972, West Ham only managed to get past Hereford United after a replay, following a 0-0 draw away from home.
The two sides were drawn against each other again in 1974. West Ham only managed a 1-1 draw at home to the third tier side, and lost the replay 2-1.
In 1972, West Ham only managed to get past Hereford United after a replay, following a 0-0 draw away from home.
The two sides were drawn against each other again in 1974. West Ham only managed a 1-1 draw at home to the third tier side, and lost the replay 2-1.
#49
It’s not often that teams throw away 3-0 leads at home. But West Ham did it twice.
In 1998, Wimbledon came from 3-0 down at Upton Park to win the game 4-3, and West Brom repeated the trick five years later.
West Ham. The gift that keeps on giving.
It’s not often that teams throw away 3-0 leads at home. But West Ham did it twice.
In 1998, Wimbledon came from 3-0 down at Upton Park to win the game 4-3, and West Brom repeated the trick five years later.
West Ham. The gift that keeps on giving.
#48
David Gold is a Twitter sensation.
And one of his finest moments came when he announced the signing of Pedro Obiang with a photo of Angelo Ogbonna, who we signed a month later.
Conspiracy theories all round.
David Gold is a Twitter sensation.
And one of his finest moments came when he announced the signing of Pedro Obiang with a photo of Angelo Ogbonna, who we signed a month later.
Conspiracy theories all round.
#47
In early 2003, West Ham almost agreed a deal to take Didier Drogba to Upton Park.
The Ivorian agreed to speak to the club in the summer over a potential £200k move.
West Ham got relegated with the best squad ever relegated and the deal collapsed.
What could have been.
In early 2003, West Ham almost agreed a deal to take Didier Drogba to Upton Park.
The Ivorian agreed to speak to the club in the summer over a potential £200k move.
West Ham got relegated with the best squad ever relegated and the deal collapsed.
What could have been.
#46
West Ham heartbreakingly released football God Carlton Cole at the end of the 2012/13 season.
After failing with a number of attempts to bring a striker in to replace him, West Ham signed him up in mid October, after a month of doubting his fitness.
Classic.
West Ham heartbreakingly released football God Carlton Cole at the end of the 2012/13 season.
After failing with a number of attempts to bring a striker in to replace him, West Ham signed him up in mid October, after a month of doubting his fitness.
Classic.
#45
On 2nd January 2018, James McClean scored a brilliant goal against West Ham at the London Stadium.
It was his first goal since September 2016. Who did he score against that day?
West Ham, of course.
On 2nd January 2018, James McClean scored a brilliant goal against West Ham at the London Stadium.
It was his first goal since September 2016. Who did he score against that day?
West Ham, of course.
#44
Marko Arnautovic wanted a big-money move to China in the winter of 2018/19. He didn’t play because “his head wasn’t in the right place”.
We lost 4-2 to AFC Wimbledon and immediately announced a new contract and pay rise for him.
He, of course, then left in the summer.
Marko Arnautovic wanted a big-money move to China in the winter of 2018/19. He didn’t play because “his head wasn’t in the right place”.
We lost 4-2 to AFC Wimbledon and immediately announced a new contract and pay rise for him.
He, of course, then left in the summer.
#43
In April 2000, West Ham went to Old Trafford looking for their first win there since 1986.
We took the lead early on through Paulo Wanchope. However, due to us being unbelievably shit, we went on to lose the game 7-1.
In April 2000, West Ham went to Old Trafford looking for their first win there since 1986.
We took the lead early on through Paulo Wanchope. However, due to us being unbelievably shit, we went on to lose the game 7-1.
#42
West Ham brilliantly opened the 2018/19 season with four defeats.
In doing so, we became the first team to ever achieve this massive milestone in two separate Premier League campaigns.
We are massive.
West Ham brilliantly opened the 2018/19 season with four defeats.
In doing so, we became the first team to ever achieve this massive milestone in two separate Premier League campaigns.
We are massive.
#41
Ah, Linvoy Primus. Portsmouth legend.
Hadn’t scored in exactly two years until he came up against West Ham in 2006.
The defender managed to score 5 league goals in his 198 appearances for Pompey.
Two of them came at Upton Park against West Ham.
In the same fucking match.
Ah, Linvoy Primus. Portsmouth legend.
Hadn’t scored in exactly two years until he came up against West Ham in 2006.
The defender managed to score 5 league goals in his 198 appearances for Pompey.
Two of them came at Upton Park against West Ham.
In the same fucking match.
#40
A more recent memory now.
Three days after comfortably beating Manchester United 2-0 without even getting out of second gear, West Ham went to Oxford in the cup.
Chaos ensued and we were humiliated 4-0 by the League One team.
The two results typified West Ham form.
A more recent memory now.
Three days after comfortably beating Manchester United 2-0 without even getting out of second gear, West Ham went to Oxford in the cup.
Chaos ensued and we were humiliated 4-0 by the League One team.
The two results typified West Ham form.
#39
West Ham have a knack for embarrassing their own fans.
If an opportunity arises to make their supporters squirm, they usually take it. And the kit lunch for the 2016/17 season was no different.
A Peter Crouch lookalike performed a rap that made every West Ham fan cringe.
West Ham have a knack for embarrassing their own fans.
If an opportunity arises to make their supporters squirm, they usually take it. And the kit lunch for the 2016/17 season was no different.
A Peter Crouch lookalike performed a rap that made every West Ham fan cringe.
#38
Portugal legend Paulo Futre left AC Milan for West Ham in 1996 to the surprise of many.
He was to be given the number 10 shirt and this was written into his contract.
He arrived at Highbury for his debut to see a “Futre 16” shirt hanging up.
He stormed out of the ground.
Portugal legend Paulo Futre left AC Milan for West Ham in 1996 to the surprise of many.
He was to be given the number 10 shirt and this was written into his contract.
He arrived at Highbury for his debut to see a “Futre 16” shirt hanging up.
He stormed out of the ground.
#37
When you think of players who have scored Premier League hat-tricks, Leon Best isn’t a name that springs to mind.
He never scored a league goal in the first 11 months of his Newcastle career, then bagged his first three all against West Ham in January 2011.
It ended 5-0.
When you think of players who have scored Premier League hat-tricks, Leon Best isn’t a name that springs to mind.
He never scored a league goal in the first 11 months of his Newcastle career, then bagged his first three all against West Ham in January 2011.
It ended 5-0.
#36
We all know about the Heysel Tragedy of 1985. Subsequently, English teams were banned from European competition.
So the next year, we obviously decided it was a great time to achieve our highest ever league finish.
We came third but weren’t allowed to compete in Europe.
We all know about the Heysel Tragedy of 1985. Subsequently, English teams were banned from European competition.
So the next year, we obviously decided it was a great time to achieve our highest ever league finish.
We came third but weren’t allowed to compete in Europe.
#35
Emails were released from West Ham trying to agree a deal with Sporting CP for William Carvalho.
We threatened to loan a player from PSG if Sporting didn’t agree to let us pay instalments over 2 years.
Their chairman then infamously called our owners “The Dildo Brothers”.
Emails were released from West Ham trying to agree a deal with Sporting CP for William Carvalho.
We threatened to loan a player from PSG if Sporting didn’t agree to let us pay instalments over 2 years.
Their chairman then infamously called our owners “The Dildo Brothers”.
#34
How could it end badly for a player who scored the winning goal for West Ham against Spurs on his debut?
Dani was doing well, but was dropped to make his future transfer fee come down.
Dani obviously objected to this and he never returned.
How could it end badly for a player who scored the winning goal for West Ham against Spurs on his debut?
Dani was doing well, but was dropped to make his future transfer fee come down.
Dani obviously objected to this and he never returned.
#33
2007 started with a bang. Literally. Reading banged us 6-0.
Newly promoted Reading. Six. Nil.
It was New Years’ Day and we played like we’d been on the piss all night.
Even Yossi Benayoun said we “played like a bunch of drunks”.
Irons.
2007 started with a bang. Literally. Reading banged us 6-0.
Newly promoted Reading. Six. Nil.
It was New Years’ Day and we played like we’d been on the piss all night.
Even Yossi Benayoun said we “played like a bunch of drunks”.
Irons.
#32
Irons defender Calum Davenport was stabbed in the legs by his sister’s boyfriend in 2009.
It was reported that he lost 50% of the blood from his body, and underwent emergency surgery.
Believe it or not, this won’t be the last entry on this list about a stabbing.
Irons defender Calum Davenport was stabbed in the legs by his sister’s boyfriend in 2009.
It was reported that he lost 50% of the blood from his body, and underwent emergency surgery.
Believe it or not, this won’t be the last entry on this list about a stabbing.
#31
We lost 5-0 to Everton and 7-1 to Blackburn Rovers in consecutive Premier League matches in 2001 to leave us with one win in 7 matches.
We still somehow managed to shithouse our way to 7th place, one position off of European football.
We lost 5-0 to Everton and 7-1 to Blackburn Rovers in consecutive Premier League matches in 2001 to leave us with one win in 7 matches.
We still somehow managed to shithouse our way to 7th place, one position off of European football.
#30
The 2014/15 season saw West Ham sitting in the top 4 at Christmas.
However, the Christmas drinks must have turned our players into useless cunts, as we won 3 of our final 21 games to finish in 12th place.
Big Sam was sacked three minutes after the final game of the season.
The 2014/15 season saw West Ham sitting in the top 4 at Christmas.
However, the Christmas drinks must have turned our players into useless cunts, as we won 3 of our final 21 games to finish in 12th place.
Big Sam was sacked three minutes after the final game of the season.
#29
Leave it to West Ham to capitulate in a cup semi final.
We beat Birmingham in the first leg of the Carling Cup semi final 2-1 at home, and led 1-0 away at half time in the second leg.
Birmingham needed 3 goals to turn the tie around. Could we stop them? Could we fuck.
Leave it to West Ham to capitulate in a cup semi final.
We beat Birmingham in the first leg of the Carling Cup semi final 2-1 at home, and led 1-0 away at half time in the second leg.
Birmingham needed 3 goals to turn the tie around. Could we stop them? Could we fuck.
#28
After relegation in 2011 (more on that later), Avram Grant was sacked in the tunnel after the final whistle.
Grant was apparently told to “find his own way home” after the game, but Scott Parker fought to allow the manager to travel back with the team.
Poor Avram.
After relegation in 2011 (more on that later), Avram Grant was sacked in the tunnel after the final whistle.
Grant was apparently told to “find his own way home” after the game, but Scott Parker fought to allow the manager to travel back with the team.
Poor Avram.
#27
The 2004 Mother’s Day Massacre.
We slumped to our heaviest defeat to Millwall since 1912. And we did so in true West Ham style.
We managed to somehow score an own goal, concede 2 penalties and have a man sent off.
It could’ve been worse. Millwall missed both penalties.
The 2004 Mother’s Day Massacre.
We slumped to our heaviest defeat to Millwall since 1912. And we did so in true West Ham style.
We managed to somehow score an own goal, concede 2 penalties and have a man sent off.
It could’ve been worse. Millwall missed both penalties.
#26
Two words: “African Mayhem”.
Director of player recruitment Tony Henry was found to have said “we don’t want any more Africans”. The reasons he gave for this was that “they can have a bad attitude” and that they “cause mayhem”.
He was suspended and subsequently sacked.
Two words: “African Mayhem”.
Director of player recruitment Tony Henry was found to have said “we don’t want any more Africans”. The reasons he gave for this was that “they can have a bad attitude” and that they “cause mayhem”.
He was suspended and subsequently sacked.
#25
One of the weirdest transfers in football history.
Julien Faubert, who couldn’t get a kick for West Ham at the time, somehow shithoused himself a loan move to Real Madrid of all teams.
The highlight of his Real Madrid career was falling asleep on the subs bench.
One of the weirdest transfers in football history.
Julien Faubert, who couldn’t get a kick for West Ham at the time, somehow shithoused himself a loan move to Real Madrid of all teams.
The highlight of his Real Madrid career was falling asleep on the subs bench.
#24
As heartbreaking as it was, we lost the 2006 FA Cup in true West Ham fashion.
Steven Gerrard equalised in stoppage time from about 204 yards out, then we lost on penalties.
The ghost of Lionel Scaloni and his sliced clearance still haunts us all to this day.
As heartbreaking as it was, we lost the 2006 FA Cup in true West Ham fashion.
Steven Gerrard equalised in stoppage time from about 204 yards out, then we lost on penalties.
The ghost of Lionel Scaloni and his sliced clearance still haunts us all to this day.
#23
Whilst on loan from West Ham to Everton, Enner Valencia made headlines playing for Ecuador.
He was subbed off due to altitude sickness, and chased around the pitch by police due to owing £13k in child support bills.
A truly banterous moment in international football.
Whilst on loan from West Ham to Everton, Enner Valencia made headlines playing for Ecuador.
He was subbed off due to altitude sickness, and chased around the pitch by police due to owing £13k in child support bills.
A truly banterous moment in international football.
#22
In 2003, a team was relegated from a 20-team Premier League with more than 40 points for the first and only time thus far.
42 points wasn’t enough to keep them up.
It was only ever going to be one club, wasn’t it?
In 2003, a team was relegated from a 20-team Premier League with more than 40 points for the first and only time thus far.
42 points wasn’t enough to keep them up.
It was only ever going to be one club, wasn’t it?
#21
When West Ham fan Steve Davies slagged off Harry Redknapp’s decision to play Lee Chapman in a friendly against Oxford City, Redknapp invited the fan on to play.
Of course, Davies scored one of the goals in a 4-0 win.
Incredibly, it’s a true story.
When West Ham fan Steve Davies slagged off Harry Redknapp’s decision to play Lee Chapman in a friendly against Oxford City, Redknapp invited the fan on to play.
Of course, Davies scored one of the goals in a 4-0 win.
Incredibly, it’s a true story.
#20
And so we arrive to our second entry that revolves around a stabbing.
In 1991, West Ham striker Trevor Morley was ruled out for eight league games after being stabbed by his own wife.
Rumours have flown around ever since, but we will probably never know why this happened.
And so we arrive to our second entry that revolves around a stabbing.
In 1991, West Ham striker Trevor Morley was ruled out for eight league games after being stabbed by his own wife.
Rumours have flown around ever since, but we will probably never know why this happened.
#19
“Don’t go to bed. Dg”.
The famous words David Gold tweeted out as we tried and failed to sign Adebayor.
This meant we couldn’t sell Carlton Cole to West Brom.
This, in turn, meant that Ideye couldn’t leave the Baggies. Two weeks later, he scored twice as they beat us 4-0.
“Don’t go to bed. Dg”.
The famous words David Gold tweeted out as we tried and failed to sign Adebayor.
This meant we couldn’t sell Carlton Cole to West Brom.
This, in turn, meant that Ideye couldn’t leave the Baggies. Two weeks later, he scored twice as they beat us 4-0.
#18
We’ve somehow managed to lose two League Cup semi final first legs 6-0.
Once in 1990 against Oldham and once in 2014 against Man City. Against City, we lost 9-0 on aggregate.
The 6-0 vs City took place 3 days after we were beaten 5-0 by Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup.
We’ve somehow managed to lose two League Cup semi final first legs 6-0.
Once in 1990 against Oldham and once in 2014 against Man City. Against City, we lost 9-0 on aggregate.
The 6-0 vs City took place 3 days after we were beaten 5-0 by Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup.
#17
Desperate for points, we played Everton away in January 2011.
Freddie Piquionne put us 2-1 up with 6 minutes to go. He celebrated by jumping into the crowd and received a second yellow card.
Everton, of course, equalised in stoppage time and we ended up getting relegated.
Desperate for points, we played Everton away in January 2011.
Freddie Piquionne put us 2-1 up with 6 minutes to go. He celebrated by jumping into the crowd and received a second yellow card.
Everton, of course, equalised in stoppage time and we ended up getting relegated.
#16
In training in 1998, John Hartson and Eyal Berkovic had a falling out. The Israeli punched him in the leg, which led Hartson to put his laces through Berkovic’s face.
Berkovic said “If my head had been a ball, it would have been in the top corner of the net”.
Quality.
In training in 1998, John Hartson and Eyal Berkovic had a falling out. The Israeli punched him in the leg, which led Hartson to put his laces through Berkovic’s face.
Berkovic said “If my head had been a ball, it would have been in the top corner of the net”.
Quality.
#15
Hard to fit this all in one tweet.
We lost 3-0 at home to Burnley, Mark Noble threw a pitch invader to the floor, and another fan planted the corner flag in the centre circle whilst hundreds more angry fans confronted the board.
Shambles.
Hard to fit this all in one tweet.
We lost 3-0 at home to Burnley, Mark Noble threw a pitch invader to the floor, and another fan planted the corner flag in the centre circle whilst hundreds more angry fans confronted the board.
Shambles.
#14
Enner Valencia’s second appearance on this list. What an achievement.
In March 2015, he suffered one of the strangest injuries you’ll ever see.
Some say it was a mug, some say it was a teacup. This injury is still shrouded in mystery.
Enner Valencia’s second appearance on this list. What an achievement.
In March 2015, he suffered one of the strangest injuries you’ll ever see.
Some say it was a mug, some say it was a teacup. This injury is still shrouded in mystery.
#13
The 1990/91 season ended in promotion for us, but we still managed to do a West Ham.
We were top with 4 to play, before Oxford took us over. Oxford lost their last two, meaning we could have won the title with a home win over Notts County.
We lost 2-1. Of course we did.
The 1990/91 season ended in promotion for us, but we still managed to do a West Ham.
We were top with 4 to play, before Oxford took us over. Oxford lost their last two, meaning we could have won the title with a home win over Notts County.
We lost 2-1. Of course we did.
#12
West Ham shithoused their way into the 2015/16 Europa League via the Fair Play League.
After being rewarded for behaving so well the year before, we decided to let out all of our anger from the previous year, and received 6 red cards in our first 10 games of the season.
West Ham shithoused their way into the 2015/16 Europa League via the Fair Play League.
After being rewarded for behaving so well the year before, we decided to let out all of our anger from the previous year, and received 6 red cards in our first 10 games of the season.
#11
In early 2013, we loaned Marouane Chamakh from Arsenal, a move that Jack Sullivan apologised for on Twitter.
He played 3 games without scoring and went on to join Crystal Palace.
In December, he scored his first goal in 11 games.
In a 1-0 win.
Against West Ham.
In early 2013, we loaned Marouane Chamakh from Arsenal, a move that Jack Sullivan apologised for on Twitter.
He played 3 games without scoring and went on to join Crystal Palace.
In December, he scored his first goal in 11 games.
In a 1-0 win.
Against West Ham.
#10
It’s 2011. Results are going our way. If we can beat Wigan away, we have a chance of survival.
It’s 2-0 to West Ham at half time.
Long story short, we lose 3-2 in the 94th minute and get relegated.
Millwall fans then flew this plane over as an extra kick in the bollocks.
It’s 2011. Results are going our way. If we can beat Wigan away, we have a chance of survival.
It’s 2-0 to West Ham at half time.
Long story short, we lose 3-2 in the 94th minute and get relegated.
Millwall fans then flew this plane over as an extra kick in the bollocks.
#9
We illegally signed Carlos Tevez & Javier Mascherano in 2006.
Mascherano wasn’t good enough to start ahead of Hayden Mullins, but Tevez scored the goal that kept us up and sent Sheffield United down.
They sued us and won £20m in compensation. “Blame Tevez” was born.
We illegally signed Carlos Tevez & Javier Mascherano in 2006.
Mascherano wasn’t good enough to start ahead of Hayden Mullins, but Tevez scored the goal that kept us up and sent Sheffield United down.
They sued us and won £20m in compensation. “Blame Tevez” was born.
#8
West Ham were in Europe for the 2015/16 & 2016/17 season.
Results included heroically overturning a 2-1 defeat to Domžale and beating the mighty Birkirkara of Malta on penalties.
The highlight though, was being knocked out by Astra Giurgiu.
Two seasons in a row.
West Ham were in Europe for the 2015/16 & 2016/17 season.
Results included heroically overturning a 2-1 defeat to Domžale and beating the mighty Birkirkara of Malta on penalties.
The highlight though, was being knocked out by Astra Giurgiu.
Two seasons in a row.
#7
In 1996, we played Stockport County in a League Cup tie.
With West Ham 1-0 up, our beautiful striker Iain Dowie rose like a salmon to head to ball into the net.
Unfortunately, it was his own net. One of the worst own goals in history. Seriously, YouTube it.
We lost 2-1.
In 1996, we played Stockport County in a League Cup tie.
With West Ham 1-0 up, our beautiful striker Iain Dowie rose like a salmon to head to ball into the net.
Unfortunately, it was his own net. One of the worst own goals in history. Seriously, YouTube it.
We lost 2-1.
#6
Javier Margas.
His wife hated living in England and fled home to Chile. When Harry Redknapp went looking for him after he didn’t turn up to training, Margas jumped out the window of his hotel, and fucked off home.
He never played professional football again.
Javier Margas.
His wife hated living in England and fled home to Chile. When Harry Redknapp went looking for him after he didn’t turn up to training, Margas jumped out the window of his hotel, and fucked off home.
He never played professional football again.
#5
Björgólfur Guðmundsson bought West Ham when he was the 1,014th richest man on the planet, his net worth standing at $1.1 billion.
In December 2008, his net worth was $0.
Fun fact: Our chairman during this time was Eggert Magnusson, who ironically had a head like an egg.
Björgólfur Guðmundsson bought West Ham when he was the 1,014th richest man on the planet, his net worth standing at $1.1 billion.
In December 2008, his net worth was $0.
Fun fact: Our chairman during this time was Eggert Magnusson, who ironically had a head like an egg.
#4
Two of our shirt sponsors have gone bust during our time in the Premier League - XL and Alpari.
When XL went bankrupt, we embarrassingly covered their logo with massive white squares with squad numbers on them.
Yes, this really happened.
Two of our shirt sponsors have gone bust during our time in the Premier League - XL and Alpari.
When XL went bankrupt, we embarrassingly covered their logo with massive white squares with squad numbers on them.
Yes, this really happened.
#3
Marco Boogers. With a name like that, we should have known he wasn’t going to be a hero when he signed.
He was sent off for a horror challenge on Gary Neville, and after 4 games, he fled back to Holland and never returned.
Legend has it that he went to live in a caravan.
Marco Boogers. With a name like that, we should have known he wasn’t going to be a hero when he signed.
He was sent off for a horror challenge on Gary Neville, and after 4 games, he fled back to Holland and never returned.
Legend has it that he went to live in a caravan.
#2
In January 2009, Savio Nsereko became our record signing.
He left after 7 months without scoring a goal.
His career spiralled downwards and in 2012, he was arrested after he reportedly attempted to extort €25,000 from his family by telling them that he had been kidnapped.
In January 2009, Savio Nsereko became our record signing.
He left after 7 months without scoring a goal.
His career spiralled downwards and in 2012, he was arrested after he reportedly attempted to extort €25,000 from his family by telling them that he had been kidnapped.
#1
In 1999, we beat Villa to reach the Worthington Cup semi finals. The teams that stood in our way were Leicester, Bolton & Tranmere.
However, substitute Emmanuel Omoyinmi was ineligible.
We had to replay the game.
We lost the replayed match 3-1. Because of course we did.
In 1999, we beat Villa to reach the Worthington Cup semi finals. The teams that stood in our way were Leicester, Bolton & Tranmere.
However, substitute Emmanuel Omoyinmi was ineligible.
We had to replay the game.
We lost the replayed match 3-1. Because of course we did.
And that’s it.
That’s my club. What a club.
So when people ask you “what’s the West Ham Way?”...
This. This is the West Ham Way.
And would any of us have it any other way? I doubt it
That’s my club. What a club.
So when people ask you “what’s the West Ham Way?”...
This. This is the West Ham Way.
And would any of us have it any other way? I doubt it
Correction - the team to beat us to the Second Division Title in 1991 was Oldham, not Oxford.
