Read on Twitter
"do you wanna make out?"
"You're like 5 inches shorter than me"
"Yeah, but do you wanna make out?"
"Sure"
Doing it big for all the short kings out there, thx for the inspo @jaboukie
"You're like 5 inches shorter than me"
"Yeah, but do you wanna make out?"
"Sure"
Doing it big for all the short kings out there, thx for the inspo @jaboukie
Third date was OK. We ate chicken parm, saw Saturn, and she didn't immediately leave after I brought up an optimization problem.
For date four, she talked through a whole movie to the point I don't even remember the main character's name. I didn't know someone could talk that much; it was kinda impressive.
Date five I learned white people really like lotion. I like her, a little bit.
She walks around carrying canned wine and belts Billy Joel in the middle of the night. She is very ℒℴ𝓃ℊ ℐ𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒹.
I wanted to stop this Twitter thread but she said I had to keep doing it:
"I like it when you write nice things about me in the internet."
I may have to keep this up for the Italian food.
"I like it when you write nice things about me in the internet."
I may have to keep this up for the Italian food.
We shared a cup of just chocolate syrup last night. I think we are now diabetics.
I met her sisters but I think I like them more than her. Can I dump her and still be friends with them?
We wore matching turtlenecks yesterday. I looked like Drake and she looked like she had a lot of thoughts about capitalism.
She bought me these for Christmas. Does this mean I have to go to Jared now?
Had (delicious) Christmas ravioli with her family in the middle of nowhere. After meeting her sister, mom, and grandmas, I can safely say all the women in her family are cooler than her.
Went all the way to her friend's party in NEW JERSEY. Now I don't have to do anything nice for her for the next three weeks at least.
Her version of "fixing" me is getting me to like seafood. This is a win-win because she'll cook me delicious meals and now I know I'm well-adjusted.
She said she deserves a tax deduction for dating men.
her dream is to have a naked, bearded man laying in her bed reading the new yorker. me—i'm her dream man.
I'm just like my father—he lies to my mom about quitting chewing tobacco, and I tell my girlfriend the Ragu pasta sauce she found in my kitchen isn't mine.
crossed off hooking up to young thug off my bucket list, would not recommend
Her Latin name is Collyra and it means macaroni
My life in Providence https://twitter.com/jacgrifff/status/1225950823299059712?s=19
We made people at the restaurant uncomfortable because we got into an argument over our non-existent wedding—she said she needs two weddings.
I am doing an ok job. https://twitter.com/jacgrifff/status/1236412585924341766?s=19
She just spent 30 minutes doing Taylor Swift karaoke. We are breaking up now.
she is out of this world 
click the pic to find out what it's like to date me for six months
Instead of getting up and drinking water she googles "does dehydration make you tired?"
she would rather have me cheat on her than say negative things about taylor swift...i kinda respect that
A helpful way to cope with quarantine is by doing the things you used to do before the pandemic; for example, we just spent half an hour on zoom in silence staring at our phones.
