Turns out the cure for hysteria is gay sex. Freshly uncovered sources suggest that the witch doctors would prescribe lesbian affairs to women suffering from a lack of reciprocation, which was highly effective. Quote one victim, "Doctor, can I renew again? Yes, for the 69th time."

This, of course, opens up many further questions regarding the field of lesbiethics. Is a doctor, who has taken the Hippocratic Oath, ethically able to spank a patient? Should the doctor administer the treatment herself? Are there any other factors to consider? Fascinating stuff.

Does anyone know if it's too late to switch my major to Sapphology? Or if Lesbos has a university and takes transfer students? I am greatly interested in exploring the folds of this groundbreaking industry. There's a lot to uncover and a lot to caress.