Thread by @myoshem, Mommy’s Journey 1. She removed her breast in July of last year. [...]

Mommy’s Journey

1. She removed her breast in July of last year.

2. Went and completed her first pink run.

So she chose to not do chemo and she did her herbal treatments and stuck to her strict diet. She ensured Nayeli and I were good, we went on trips and she constantly joked about having one breast.

A few months later she changed doctors and stuff and found out she didn’t have to remove her breast and this infuriated her and stressed her out(I wish you doctors would be honest with people’s life and mental health) but still she pushed through.

Fast forward to about 8 months post mastectomy. On this day she found out she now had stage 4 lung cancer. She hid this from me for weeks and when she finally told me she cried; well she broke down.

Before she started chemo she said she wanted to take Nayeli to the zoo, go to Frenchman’s Cove and we did just that. In the back of my head I was preparing for her to leave us. So I put on a brave face and went along with what she wanted to do.

Alright. She started chemo. She did about 8 doses. Still had the shortness of breath and walking with her was a task

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unamused face" aria-label="Emoji: Unamused face"> Hearing her struggle to breath was just hard.

Alright. She started chemo. She did about 8 doses. Still had the shortness of breath and walking with her was a task https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

Hearing her struggle to breath was just hard." title="Alright. She started chemo. She did about 8 doses. Still had the shortness of breath and walking with her was a task https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unamused face" aria-label="Emoji: Unamused face"> Hearing her struggle to breath was just hard.">

During chemo she had no side effects at all. She was so happy that she wasn’t losing her hair, her nails, her skin wasn’t discolored etc.. But then this started to happen. Again she broke down because she loves her hair.

Her hair was literally just falling out. So she decided to go shave her head and my cousin did the same so she didn’t feel alone.Oh we also bought a wig that day(her first time ever wearing any weave)

She asked me to shave my hair with her and I said no and colored my hair fuchsia instead. Nice little mix for both breast(pink) and lung(purple) cancer. So what did we do after she finished her chemo; we went on toad trips again

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (medium skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (medium skin tone)">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤸🏾‍♀️" title="Woman cartwheeling (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman cartwheeling (medium dark skin tone)">

She asked me to shave my hair with her and I said no and colored my hair fuchsia instead. Nice little mix for both breast(pink) and lung(purple) cancer. So what did we do after she finished her chemo; we went on toad trips again https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

All this time she could barley walk long distances, breathing still horrible, weak from time to time, couldn’t taste anything, only eating fruits and vegetables, weight lost was getting more and more visible

She hated going to her check ups during chemo and stepping on the scale. She was literally over it this day.

A few weeks ago we went on the road and she was standing for 5 mins and couldn’t breath so she had to sit. She wanted to cry and she just sat there with her head down. I just ignored it because what can I do or say?

We have good days and bad days. This was last week; a bad day. She was in bed all day in pain. She was refusing to take her pain medication and the rest she needs to take everyday and I got mad and told her she needed to take them “yuh naa dead pon mi in ya!”

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">

We have good days and bad days. This was last week; a bad day. She was in bed all day in pain. She was refusing to take her pain medication and the rest she needs to take everyday and I got mad and told her she needed to take them “yuh naa dead pon mi in ya!” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">" title="We have good days and bad days. This was last week; a bad day. She was in bed all day in pain. She was refusing to take her pain medication and the rest she needs to take everyday and I got mad and told her she needed to take them “yuh naa dead pon mi in ya!” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙈" title="See-no-evil monkey" aria-label="Emoji: See-no-evil monkey">" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Today I took her to do a scan so she could get her results from chemo at her next doctor’s visit. This determines if she does chemo again. She now gets cold easily, eats ice like a pregnant lady, still can’t taste a damn thing and oh her hair is growing back

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (medium skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (medium skin tone)">

Today I took her to do a scan so she could get her results from chemo at her next doctor’s visit. This determines if she does chemo again. She now gets cold easily, eats ice like a pregnant lady, still can’t taste a damn thing and oh her hair is growing back https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

This is the most emotional and stressful thing I’ve ever had to go through because I cannot help her. I get angry sometimes because I just want back my mother; I still have her but I need HER back. Mothers aren’t supposed to be sick.

She told me a few months ago that she’s fighting because she’s not leaving Nayeli without her mother so early. “I’m not worried about you. I have to fight for Nayeli”

We sat in the car today and she spoke to me about life insurance and what I should do when she dies and we both cried and hugged each other during this entire convo.

I’ve never tried to not be negative but I’ve sat and planned her funeral in my head. I wake up in the middle of the night to check if she’s alive

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏽‍♀️" title="Woman shrugging (medium skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman shrugging (medium skin tone)">

Dis ruff and I want to have a proper crying session but mi affi a hol it

Affi big up cousin Trudy who has been at every doctor’s visit, check up, scan, chemo session, prescription filling, food runs, road trips, helping me on weekends with the house and Nayeli

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart">

Affi big up cousin Trudy who has been at every doctor’s visit, check up, scan, chemo session, prescription filling, food runs, road trips, helping me on weekends with the house and Nayeli https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

Today we wear pink for Goodbody Rosie

Update: Mommy has been admitted today. She will be doing more chemo. The gang is here. I will try to give updates as best and as often as I can.. (This is my mini therapy session and a way to bring awareness to breast cancer)

She got to see mommy

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart">

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