Thread by @alwynswiftly, i will be starting a thread of all the funny and weird [...]

i will be starting a thread of all the funny and weird things my modern world teacher says

“i’m not sure if i’m allowed to say this, but cyberbullies are cowards and pussies that are too weak to do things in person”

“one day my boyfriend came up to me in college and said that we couldn’t hang out anymore. i said ‘why’ and he said ‘i’m getting married’”

“this girl in brooklyn tried to punch me but i was too swift and dodged her and was like ‘naw bitch you ain’t tryin me!’”

“ooh don’t sneak up behind me! i know how to fight! i have 11 brothers and will karate chop your head right off!”

“i would rather hear someone say ‘i smoke weed’ than ‘i’d never wear something from another culture’”

“Leonardo DiCaprio was the boy back in the day”

“you callin me funny as in ‘haha’ funny or funny as in ‘i’m stupid’?”

“such nice french [insert throat noises here]”

“hold my hoops...square up after school boy”

“oh that’s a ghost? i thought it was the outline of a girl” - on the topic of snapchat

“yesterday, no not yesterday, 3 yesterdays ago”

“my baby daddy president obama”

“michelle’s just holding down the fort...the dog was her idea!”

“[obama’s] african, he has 2 wives, i’m the younger one”

“you know i’m blind, i can’t hear”

“‘learn something new everyday’ used to be my motto but now i don’t give a f*ck”

“y’all hookup now- sorry hookup means something different now”

“who is that stupid fool? what’s his name? oh yeah Rudy Giuliani”

“ @aliciakeys...i almost licked her face she’s so pretty...i was like ‘i’m gonna touch you now, i’m gonna hug you’ and the security guards were staring”

“us chaperones didn’t get invited to the dinner, those bastards”

“next time i’m chased by wolves, i’ll just sing a song”

“is that because i’m black? huh?”

“i found a boyfriend for one day- his name was Seth” “one day i asked ‘seth are you married?’ and he said ‘yes’ - he reminded me of one of my little brothers”

“make sure they didn’t write ‘ms. barclays a bitch i hope she’s dead tomorrow’ on their papers”

“just reach over the table and go ‘pow’ in grandmas ear”

“i think it’s rude when people dictate to spend my money” - on black friday shopping

“i’d like to exclude myself from anything american”

calm down it’s not like i’m asking for your first born”

“those of you that don’t believe in god, i feel sorry for you”

“i’m just stretching, that’s my karate move”

“what are those crack donuts? oh yeah krispy kreme”

“i love asian stuff”

“happy new year, happy hanukkah, shish kabob, all that good stuff”

“i’m not french, but i’m sure as hell that’s not how you say that”

“i’m not asking for your first born...yet”

“he sounds like arnold schwarzenegger trying to speak french”

end of thread since i won’t ever see her again. thank you ms. barclay for the endless hours of entertainment from all your very interesting comments in class

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