About 3 years ago, It was time to get a job so I started looking. I went online and found one that said âChicken Catcher Neededâ. Oyinbo people sha... Which one is chicken catcher again bayi o 
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I said to myself âthis is new let me try it. Itâs sha chicken. No p!â I called the number and sent my resume. They called me about 20 mins later for an interview. I went for the interview. I knocked and heard a voice that said âcome inâ I sat down and the elderly woman asked..
..the questions but somehow.. she wasnât convinced I could do the job.. She then said âyou are really skinny. You sure you got this?â Heeys madam! Why are you doing like agbaya laidis? Iâm small body big engine please! Abi what are you saying? She said all I was going to do...
.. was âcatch chickens and put them in cagesâ. I just laughed and said âordinary chickens?â She then said.. âthis job is for real menâ I was like âHellooooooo? Wahiz goinon? First of, they are chickens, not cows. Chickens we dey pursue for street.. do I look like a joke to you?
Are you okay? I am a REAL MAN. I can catch the whole chicken in America! Madam, where are the chickens?! Where are the cages?! Donât angry me PLS!â The woman said OK and asked if I was available ASAP. I said âyesâ she said âgo home, get some rest and be back here at 11pmâ
I said OK. I was so excited fam. I did push ups, sit-ups, be flexing muscles upandan. I was like âHa! This people donât know who I be. Ordinary chicken â
Fast forward to 11pm, I got there and 7 people were waiting for me in a bus. Everyone introduced themselves. They were all

Mexicans. The driver asked âyou ready?â âHaq Haq Haq! Never been this readyâ I got in the bus and we left. We drove for like 20 mins and I just saw guys bringing out Moster drinks.. Iâm not kidding, they drank like 3 cans of monster each, and other energizers . Iâm like âeeeeer
Guys, is everything okay?â One answered âyes my friendâ I said âokay, so why do we need all these strength? Abi we are going to war ni?â moments later, they took their masks and gloves out and wore them. Iâm like âHeyss!! Mr Driver! Whatâs going on? Where are we going?â
He said âWORK, calm down my friendâ Excuse me, You people drank energy drinks like water. So, why are you dressing like Ninja again. These people are sha testing me, itâs like they want me to jump out of this vehicle. We got there and I saw like 5 barns. Picture of a barn below

Iâm like âokay! Nothing dey happenâ they opened this barn.. 
Fam!! I have never seen chickens that much in my life. I said âHaaa! Helloooo, how many are they?â He said â33,000â Iâm like âhaaa! 33,000 chickens?! What are we going to do with them bayii?â he said âwe are here


to catch them and put them in cagesâ I was like âokay.. how? Izit machine that will coman carry them? The weyrey walked away. The chickens were huge like turkeys! I was like âWTF?! I af die today! Ha! Wahala yaff come o! That woman is an alakoba o! Ha! Weyrey re o!â These guys
guys started catching chickens like it was nothing âfiam! Fiam!! LMAOO.. I said âIts not even hard! Nothing dey happen! Fam! The first one I tried to catch just flew at me! I was like âHeeys! Why are you doing laidis? Why are you flying? You want to disgrace me? Oya stand let
me catch you! After catching 50 (yes! I was counting), I couldnât lift my arms anymore. I looked at the chickens. I asked the supervisor.. âhow many chickens left?â He asked how many I caught and asked the guys too. He said âhmmmm 30, 124â I yelled â yeeeeeeee!â And started
crying âthere is no way Iâm leaving this place alive. If I die, you people should bury me in this place, tell my family Iâm sorry, I love them. Just kill meâ I was just yarning nonsense. Those guys thought I was running mad. When my wahala was too much, the supervisor told me to
take a 10 mins break. I just sat down. I started asking God âwhy was I born? God, show me a sign if I am coming to heaven?â I was just yarning rubbish fam! The supervisor came and said âmy friend.. work timeâ I said âbut you said 10 minsâ he said â15mins gone my friendâ
I checked the time 





. âhaaaaaa! God!!! Open the gates of heaven!! visitor is cominnnng!â Fam! I caught 300 chickens and could barely stand. These guys were done in 5 hours. E just be like film. After work, we got in the car and ate. So I asked âwe are done right?







what are we waiting for, when are we leaving?âThe supervisor said âthis is break!â. I asked âerr what break? What do you mean?â He said âwe have another barnâ I just laughed. Itâs like these people want me to run naked. These people want to see the real definition of madness.
AĂČ nĂ sorĂ burĂșkĂș o. They all got up and I followed. They opened another barn. Fam! Another 33,000 chickens. I was silent for about 5 seconds.. it was like someone sent out my brain as sms... Suddenly! I just yelled!! âHaaaaaaah!! 


Iâm gonna dieeeee! I canât walk. Ohh!




Call my family on phone. Tell them I am going to miss them. I donât like brown, get a black casket. Fam! There was nothing I didnât say. It was that day I knew I didnât have sense. I told the man âIâm done! Iâm going home! I donât need this job! I was looking for job.. not
something that will kill me. I tried to walk back home, but we drove like 30 mins down here. Iâm not waking through the forest. I donât want horror to kill me Biko. Aye oni muwa o. I caught like 50 chickens the second round. I couldnât breathe... the supervisor yelled âkeep
trying my friendâ I yelled âdo you want me to die? Iâm not your friend! Somebody saaave meee

â finally, I laid on the floor. Iâm not doing again. I told the supervisor âI quit, I resign and I fire myself. Weyrey ni gbogbo yinâ I started faking hamstring injury. After they



got done, they had to help me get into the vehicle. The supervisor told me not to quit and dropped few inspirational quotes. I said to myself âMr Influencer. Pamilerin with plenty bear bear. If you donât gedifok! If you see me here again. Make I die!â His voice be sounding like
he was on speakerphone. Fam! The werey said he was going to drop me off at home. I thought to myself âhaaa! This weyrey want to know my house LMAOâ I had him drop me off 2 blocks away from home and he asked.. is this your house? I said âYesâ thank God they have dog.
Find me come and let dog pursue you. shoâlo stupid ni. He dropped me off and stared at me âhellooo, what is it o. What are you waiting for sir?â He said âI want to see you get into the house to make sure you are okayâ First of all, what is your business? Why is my safety
important to you. Let something happen to me please. I said âItâs okay, Iâm home. You can leaveâ At 10pm my phone started ringing. I couldnât even reach my phone because hand was sore! They dropped voice messages and asked if I was coming to coman catch chickens. Awon weyrey!