This just in.

There are hungry dogs out there.

And in here.

Particularly in here.

Under your desk. Look down.

Oh, hi! I didn't see you there! I'm just a v. v. good #officedog boy who has never been fed ever wouldn't it be weird if you had treats?
Did I mention that I have a nose?
Reader of course I fed him look at those ears what am I a monster?


o rite amphetamines
Surprise! You thought this was a thread about dogs, but instead it's a thread about how the single healthiest thing I ever did was go to the psychiatrist and get a diagnosis, start medication.

I was terrified before I did that I'd lose myself. If all of my personality is just symptoms... what's left?

It was only the writing of some very open people - @cwgabriel and @TychoBrahe first among them - that motivated me to do what I needed to.
I've been on pills for my #ADHD for almost two months now, and... I'm better.

At everything.

Because for thirty goddamn wasted years, I hated myself for how little I could get done, while I was fighting with one arm behind my back.

Taking my meds for the first time was like
It's not perfect. I'm not fixed.

But in a very real way, I was broken, and I was refusing to do anything about it, out of fear and anxiety and executive dysfunction.

Out of the fear of losing myself.

Reader, I'm here to tell you I'm not lost.

I'm finally found.
I have the best job in the world, and I'm better at it.

I have the love of a wonderful partner, and I'm able to be there for her.

I have decades of ideas I've never been able to get on the page. I'm writing them.

I'm me. I get to meet me. Wholly, fully. Unfettered at last.
I didn't even consider that I might have a disorder until I was 28. I was a gifted kid, not disruptive, so it went under the radar.

I get so angry at the wasted time. I'm literally sobbing right now thinking of what could have been.

But i can't get that time back. It's gone.
What I can do is follow in the best traditions of the people who came before me, and light the way.

I do it wherever I can.

I hope, if you're struggling with the choice, that I can do it for you.

Because it's the healthiest thing I've ever done.
And because you all have been very good, here is our office dog again.

Sorry for the bamboozle. In my defense, it was actually for your own good.

I love you all. Take care of yourselves. Please.
You can follow @NomeDaBarbarian.
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