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Bismillah. Despite my Twitter handle, to my knowledge, no one has done the community khidmah of producing a detailed guide to lotas and lota alternatives for Istinjaa. I have taken it upon myself to complete this important and honorable task. Jumu'ah Mubarak.
Pot Lota (7/10)
PROS: Most like the one your great-grandfather used. If you run out of water, you can use it as a drum to summon help.
CONS: Ergonomically unfriendly. Emptying it entirely when it is totally full may require elite grip strength, else will soak your garments.
PROS: Most like the one your great-grandfather used. If you run out of water, you can use it as a drum to summon help.
CONS: Ergonomically unfriendly. Emptying it entirely when it is totally full may require elite grip strength, else will soak your garments.
Common Man’s Lota (9/10)
PROS: Ubiquitous. The Toyota Camry of lotas. Found in every Muslim-owned shop, including meat markets. Excellent reserve volume and stream control.
CONS: Possibly from a meat market. Common receptacle for toilet paper debris in masjid bathrooms. HOW?
PROS: Ubiquitous. The Toyota Camry of lotas. Found in every Muslim-owned shop, including meat markets. Excellent reserve volume and stream control.
CONS: Possibly from a meat market. Common receptacle for toilet paper debris in masjid bathrooms. HOW?
Watering Can Lota (7.5/10)
PROS: Nearly impossible to overpour.
CONS: Stream force often terrible. Upon seeing it, white guests may erroneously ask you for gardening advice/”where are ur plants?” Your grandfather may literally saw off the end to create a larger stream.
PROS: Nearly impossible to overpour.
CONS: Stream force often terrible. Upon seeing it, white guests may erroneously ask you for gardening advice/”where are ur plants?” Your grandfather may literally saw off the end to create a larger stream.
Plastic Bottle (6/10)
PROS: Almost always used out of sheer necessity, so intrinsically very clutch. Makes you feel like you are part of the bourgeoisie.
CONS: Dangerously low reservoir volume! Puts you at risk for accidental consumption of lota pani. Bad for the planet.
PROS: Almost always used out of sheer necessity, so intrinsically very clutch. Makes you feel like you are part of the bourgeoisie.
CONS: Dangerously low reservoir volume! Puts you at risk for accidental consumption of lota pani. Bad for the planet.
Gatorade Bottle / LotaRade / Michael IntinJordan (8/10)
PROS: Stellar stream control and pressure. Tends to reduce water waste.
CONS: Not mainstream. Guests/family won’t appreciate seeing this in your bathroom. Puts you in a bad spot if a friend asks for a drink during ball.
PROS: Stellar stream control and pressure. Tends to reduce water waste.
CONS: Not mainstream. Guests/family won’t appreciate seeing this in your bathroom. Puts you in a bad spot if a friend asks for a drink during ball.
Handheld Bidet (8.5/10)
PROS: A+ reserve volume. Great for both front and back pourers. Prepares you for possible bathroom fire or water gun fight.
CONS: Promotes high water use. Often lacks temp regulation. Needs installation. Disastrous when used by little masjid kids.
PROS: A+ reserve volume. Great for both front and back pourers. Prepares you for possible bathroom fire or water gun fight.
CONS: Promotes high water use. Often lacks temp regulation. Needs installation. Disastrous when used by little masjid kids.
Wet Paper Towels / “Water Laddoo” (5 or 10/10 varies w/situation)
PROS: Godsend in desperation. Reminds you of things your dad taught you. Useful projectile.
CONS: Your boss may fire you if he sees you making these. May create bad TP debris on your caboose. Leaves water trail.
PROS: Godsend in desperation. Reminds you of things your dad taught you. Useful projectile.
CONS: Your boss may fire you if he sees you making these. May create bad TP debris on your caboose. Leaves water trail.
one of my formative childhood memories was being in a public restroom and in desperate need of a lota. some guy heard me crying and I explained my situation so he handed me toilet paper underneath the stall but it was dry so I started crying more 
