ALL YOUR SHIPS ARE PROBLEMATIC
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind edition

Ari ari arrivederci you're canceled!

Disclaimer: Do not take this seriously. This list was made for fun. Don't bully others solely for shipping reasons. Actually, just don't be a bully in general

(there's a buttload of ships, this will take a while)

BRUABBA IS PROBLEMATIC

Abbacchio is always drunk. Drunk people can't consent. Bucciarati is taking advantage of a drunk man. That is bad and I hope you feel bad.

BRUGIO IS PROBLEMATIC

Bucciarati is clearly grooming Giorno. He is grooming Giorno to take over the Mafia, which is his dream, but it is grooming nonetheless. Stan BruAb-- wait that's problematic too.

BRUTRISH IS PROBLEMATIC

Trish is a girl. Girls have vaginas. Vaginas are gross. You keep these pure boys away from gross goopy vaginas!

GIOMIS IS PROBLEMATIC

Mista is afraid of the number f_ur. Giorno's birthday is April 16, which you can round up to fo_r. Giorno's existence is literally abusive to Mista. Stop exploiting his trauma for your sick ships.

GIONARA IS PROBLEMATIC

*screams pedophilia into the wind* Narancia is clearly a cutie babbu toddler who can do no wrong! Keep your 30/2 hands off him, Giorno!

GIOTRISH IS PROBLEMATIC

stoooooooooop!!!! stop pitting my pure boys against gross girls! girls are gross they have vaginas!!!!!!! pleaaaaase I'm going to cry if you keep doing this stooooooooooop

FUNARA IS PROBLEMATIC

Excuse me? This is a student/teacher relationship???? What the fuck? is? wrong??? with? you???? Stop corrupting cutie babbu smol Nawancia like this.

FUGIO IS PROBLEMATIC

Giorno made a vaccine for Fugo's poison and don't you know vaccines are sinful?! God doesn't approve of vaccines and God does not approve of this ship! Shippers should get polio and d*e.

FUMIS IS PROBLEMATIC

Look at them and then read Leviticus 19:19. Don't hurt the Jesus like this.

NARAMIS IS PWOBLEMATIC

You keep your firearms away from my pure babbu wabbu lovey-wuvy cutie-wutie innocent smol babu Narancia! Stop lewding Narancia, he's a pure boi!!!!! (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू)

MISTRISH IS PROBLEMATIC

And Makoto Shinkai's Your Name didn't make $94 million in the box office.

Oh, also Trish has a vagina. ew.

Commercial break!

ICYMI here is why all ships in Phantom Blood are problematic https://twitter.com/naiadclue/status/1161555846704144385

Commercial break!

ICYMI here is why all ships in Battle Tendency are problematic https://twitter.com/naiadclue/status/1161588752336084993

NARATRISH IS PROBLEMATIC

Narancia's feelings for Trish aren't romantic. Narancia is a Trish-kin! Just admit that you're kinphobic and go.

RISOPRO IS PROBLEMATIC

This isn't what they meant when they said "love your elders".

RISODOPP IS PROBLEMATIC

One of them is abusive. Obviously it's the big guy dressed in black who has knives, and not the pure innocent creature who will non-con razor blades up poopshoots.

PROPESCI IS PROBLEMATIC

Pesci calls Prosciutto "aniki" which means big brother in Japanese! I will blissfully ignore the fact that this is a Japanese gangster thing so I can judge you all and call you filthy insect shippers!

Horray! I like feeling superior to filthy shippers!

Commercial break!

ICYMI here is why all ships in Stardust Crusaders are problematic https://twitter.com/naiadclue/status/1162306860566716416

FORMALUSSO IS PROBLEMATIC

You are literally shipping Mich/el Ja//son with a small person. What. the. fuck.

MELOGHIA IS PROBLEMATIC

Did you know that Yuri on Ice was written by a woman and women shouldn't be allowed to write about mlm relationships?

This ship also has an ice skater and a really feminine looking guy so this must be problematic too!

FUJOSHIS GO AWAY!!!!

DIADOPP IS PROBLEMATIC

Masturbation is a sin! The Holey Bible said so!

DIAGIO IS PROBLEMATIC

Did you know? That Doppio is a minor and Diavolo is just his aged up version? Did you know that aging up characters is WRONG?! Stop aging up minors for your sick ships, you sickos!!!!!!!! And stop making Giorno a ped0, you peedoes!

Commercial break!

ICYMI here is why all ships in Diamond is Unbreakable are problematic https://twitter.com/naiadclue/status/1172072100187660288

SECCOLATA IS PROBLEMATIC

This is z00philia you sick f*cks. Stop shipping pure innocent Secco with an ugly raccoon with green penis hair.

SQUATZI IS PROBLEMATIC

They are cousins who are also very good friends.

GIOPOL IS PROBLEMATIC

This ship fetishizes disabilities??? Polnareff is in a wheelchair and is half blind????? Don't fetishize him even if he really had a glow up like wow Part 5 Polnareff is super hot he can still get it I mean-- STOP. STOP LEWDING POLNAREFF LIKE THIS!!!!

SHIELATRISH IS PROBLEMATIC

Tthis ship has two vaginas! TWO!! VAGINAS!!!! GROSS GOOPY VAGINAS GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! ugh i hate myself

also purple haze feedback isn't canon because it makes giorno a bad boi when giorno is a good boi he is a pure boi who only does good boi crimes.

What will happen in the next episode? Will we ever get Part 6 anime?

Will we have the courage to take on Stone Ocean with its insane stans?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE!!!!!!