lwj became a father at just 20, with no experience at all, to a child whose identity endangered them, after losing the man he loved, when his own sect mistrusted him, and he was bedridden because of injuries, with so much bad speculation about his character and a-yuan’s parentage

and the expierience of parents he had was a mother he could see once every month and a father who forced that situation who was always in seclusion because even his own sons didn’t matter enough to break it. and a strict though loving uncle. and no friends but the best brother.

and lwj didn’t let his own grief touch sizhui. never once did sizhui resent anyone, and never once did he ask for his own real parents back, or hate the sects, or the wens, or yiling laozu, or his uncle, lwj made himself everything sizhui could need and taught him not to hate.

lwj made sure sizhui had everything he hadn’t had. sizhui grew up with friends, with companionship from the start, and ridiculous moments with his family, and he didn’t have to live ruled by rules, he didn’t hesitate in bending them a bit, but he was always very disciplined.

and even though lwj wasn’t even married when he adopted sizhui,,, sizhui had the same rank as a member of the lan clan- cloud patterned ribbon and the ability to play inquiry and all. Sizhui wasn’t just in the sect, he was a part of the lan family. and no ones questioned it.

and you know he was out of his depth,,, but he did his best and there were chaotic moments with him burying sizhui in rabbits or feeding him carrots, and it was all just funny childhood stories to tell. lwj made sure sizhui’s childhood was filled with laughter and silliness.

and the fact that even wwx couldn’t read his face but sizhui could, the way lxc could. that shows both his familiarity and his confidence in his father. like, sizhui, even at 16 knew he could speak to sect leaders for lwj, and lwj had let himself be so open, sizhui could read him

the way he simplied his instructions for a yuan, as a child, within minutes.

and the way years later, he chose to only tell wwx about sizhui at a time when he was sure he could take time and explain to wwx how important not upsetting him was,,,

and the fact that sizhui knew he could call for lwjs help if he was ever in trouble.

he simply knew that his father, or someone in the lan sect, would drop everything and come to the aid of disciples without thinking any less of them, not scold or punish them for needing help.

I can’t believe none of you told me I misspelled experience and simplified.………............ this betrayal.

lwj silenced every single disciple but he could not make himself silence sizhui. in the entire show, sizhui is possibly the only time he had a reason or occasion to silence someone- and did not do it. and sizhui was disciplined enough not to speak anyway.

he really is a father trying to do his best by his son and make sure he’s okay— while also trying to handle the safety of the sect and worry for his own family and that of the man he loves- and try to figure out what on earth is going on

lwj really made sure none of the restrictions and over-conservativeness of his sect could touch sizhui, while still raising him as a member of the lan family and teaching him everything they knew.

he really gave him the lenient and nurturing upbringing he couldn’t have.

there’s also the values lwj teaches sizhui. throughout mdzs, sizhui easily quotes teachings and theories of the yiling laozu, and even talks about giving him a fair hearing. that shows how open minded lwj helped him in life- and how he respected knowledge above all else.

and lwj teaching sizhui that when you love someone and trust them, you let go of your regulations around them and let yourself be. but you respect their freedom you don’t expect them to be your spouse and you respect their freedom. just don’t hold yourself away from happiness.

ALSO lwj lost his own father and his home to the wen sect once, lost wwx because of the wens, he’s got a wen brand on his chest because of the one they gave wwx- and yet he took in a Wen orphan as his own son and gave him all the love and shelter and protection he possibly could.

and lan xichen said they were sent to people who could look after them. the twin jades did not even have stability after their mother died. they were just shunted from person to person until their studies began.

and yet. look at lwj providing sizhui security and stability.

lwj also changed the characters of yuan’s name to read as "Hope/Vow" rather than "Garden" which is what it’d originally stood for.

He saw Yuan as his hope- in everything that happened and all the hardships he had to beat to be such a good father, and his son was his hope in it.

also, lwj gave sizhui everything he had, possibly even struggled a lot to get him acknowledged as a lan but he never once attempted to cut him off from his Wen heritage. not when he discovered sizhui had surviving wen family rather than just heartbreak and trauma to find there.

he encourages wen ning to spend time with him- both outside lotus pier and when sizhui wants to travel with him because that’s who his son is and he’ll never take that away or bury it, OR envy that relationship. and if anyone questions the closeness- lwj will protect them too.

wwx called sizhui “a child raised by you, lan zhan", lwj immediately replied “and one raised by you."

sizhui was robbed off time with the wens and wwx, and they with him, but lwj understands that they have as much right to be with and as much love for sizhui as lwj himself does!

and sizhui says lwj is an elder brother and father to him. he’s acknowledged as lwj’s son and lwj provided for him like a father, fulfilled all duties and roles of a father, but he also treated him like an equal.

and he just never ever tried to /replace/ sizhui’s birth parents.

both as a father and a teacher, I really love how much respect and consideration he gave jingyi and sizhui’s judgement when they’re just 16 and may not have the level of experience he did at their age. yet their options are valued instead of dismissed.