White women have spread this idea of Empowered Femininity but they've got it so twisted. It's more frustrating when you realise that *that's* the feminism the whole world is adopting now, even the non-white population of women.

I want to go to the very root of white feminism, especially straight white feminism, because their ideology is fucked at the most fundamental level. They don't know what feminism is. They don't even know what femininity is!

What they did is isolate, commodify, & sexualise feminism. This is patriarchal & they've fallen for it. Because to straight women, femininity exists in comparison to men. They don't exist without the validation of men. The opposite of what men do is feminine. See the problem?

What I'm trying to say is that if you really want to understand what femininity is wrt gender, listen to gay women's perspectives, specifically lesbians of colour. I don't mean myself, of course. We can just Google this.

Lesbians don't associate their gender identity/expression with that of men. Gay women's gender experience is separate from men entirely and doesn't include comparisons. Non-white lesbians address the role of race in feminism that white women conveniently ignore.

You can't be like “Femininity is the opposite of masculinity!” Firstly, because who really defines masculinity? Hint: not women. Patriarchy has drawn all the lines that separate men from women, and it's.... problematic, to say the least.

Secondly, the very idea that gender is a binary of masculinity vs. femininity is flawed in itself. Just cause white is the opposite of black doesn't make any colour that's not black, white (that makes sense, shut up).

So what exactly do I mean when I say straight women's feminism? I mean corporate women in high heels wearing long-lasting smudge-proof makeup. I mean the Women = Uterus (it's transphobic as hell). I mean “feminism means both men AND women are equal, feminism benefits men, too!”

I mean “This morning a man didn't put a gun to my head and threaten me to dress for the male gaze so it's my own decision, entirely free of social pressures. It's my choice to perform femininity.”

It's a naive (and very toxic) mindset that it's your choice just because you think you're making it consciously. Newsflash, it's not your choice. You are not making that decision. So if it's not feminism, what is it? You guessed it folks! It's internalised misogyny!

I'll break it down a little further. If you have any body image issues, they ARE a result of cis-hetero-patriarchy, regardless of your gender identity. But if you're a woman or assigned female at birth, then it's misogyny. Let us not forget racialised misogyny.

One might be thinking, “But.....women...don't hate themselves? Feminist women don't hate women, they empower women, right? Right?” Sure, but here's the plot twist: socialisation. And that's not a foreign concept at all.

I want to focus on the first instance (although the second is quite hilarious) https://www.futilitycloset.com/2011/07/13/skinner-on-campus/

That's the point I'm trying to make. Just think of that red colour incident as a global phenomenon, then everything becomes a lot clearer. If wearing makeup and appearing “pretty” or “beautiful” or “sexy” in a world dominated by men gets you acknowledged, who wouldn't do it?

In a world where women have stricter dress codes, where women have to kill their feet and legs and back in high heels for 9+ hours every day, spending thousands on makeup and hair just to be taken half as seriously for their work, wouldn't they do it?

If wearing makeup and dressing up all pretty gets you treated nicer, gets you way more compliments than usual, which one of us wouldn't do it? If you can't fathom going out in your unmakeup-ed, unadulterated, unplucked, un“prettified” skin, is it really a choice you're making?

I'm talking about a mindset so pervasive that when a woman doesn't bother to look the world's definition of pretty, she's called ugly. And for a woman, ugly might as well be a death sentence.

Straight white women's feminism is when Mitski doesn't wear makeup and her pimples are visible, white women call her brave and revolutionary for accepting ugliness. She's brave for....being natural.

I have such an issue with make-up. Make-up is all the rage now. Corporations sell you make-up by having a model dress in a formal skirt, wearing red lipstick and high heels, and that's somehow powerful enough to be taken seriously.

My mother managed a household of six people without her make-up to make that point for her. My point is that we have been socialised to believe that a woman's worth is in how much effort she puts into her appearance. If she doesn't look immaculate, she won't be taken seriously.

This is a world where a “natural look” is thousands of bucks worth of make-up, multiple layers of make-up on your skin, endless time put in, just to make it look like they didn't even put on any make-up. You know what's a natural look? Your NATURAL FACE. But that won't sell.

This is a world centred around the male fantasy of what women should look like, and women are damaging themselves physically and mentally to become that Perfect Woman that men would look at and notice and find beautiful. Beautiful is not a compliment, it should terrify you.

This is a world where gender non-conforming people don't belong. This is a world where fat women don't belong. This is a world where WOC are valid only if they're light skinned. This is a world where trans women are considered women only as long as they're hyper-feminine, if that

This is a world where “influencers” sell women appetite suppressants, sell you an idea of this made up fucking woman that you NEED to look like to be able to show your face to the world. Where women have to sit a certain way and laugh a certain way and speak a certain way.

Women shouldn't have to exist as a male fantasy. Women shouldn't have to look beautiful. You know what should be the only criteria for being a woman? You should feel like a woman. Like when Lizzo said “If you feel like a woman then you real like a woman.”

Your feminism is fucked up if you think hyper-sexualised, hyper-feminine is a woman's choice. Women are not immune to the male gaze. Most of women's experiences and actions are influenced by how they will be perceived, specifically by men.

It's not feminism, not really. It's just another way to cater to men. Now men are getting exactly what they want, except now it's feminist. It's feminist to be sexy, it's feminist to want to look beautiful, it's feminist to kill yourself over beauty standards. Makes sense.

I think a lot about this thing that Margaret Atwood said.