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It& #39;s been a year of living in my Philly apartment with my roommate. I don& #39;t talk about him enough on Twitter but here goes a thread of all the stupid shit Scott& #39;s done in the past year that I& #39;ve had to endure:
I came home from work to find him cooking chicken on the stove. I had to tell him to turn the burner on. It had been 20 minutes.
He made a bunch of "white Russians" using peach vodka, kalhua and non dairy creamer, got drunk, chugged a bunch of orange juice, passed out, and woke up to throw up in the sink an hour later
I asked him to buy a shower curtain for the new apartment & he came home with a Bratz
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="™️" title="Registered-Trade-Mark-Symbol" aria-label="Emoji: Registered-Trade-Mark-Symbol"> window treatment instead
There& #39;s currently this hello Kitty toothbrush in the bathroom with the name Lexie on it in market. I hope Lexie isn& #39;t missing this too much
He left the bar drunk one night & told me he then walked around Chinatown hoping to see a drunk kung-fu battle stumble out into the streets
I had to teach him how to use a sponge
I thought the coffee pot was broke & leaking water on the counter every night. Turns out he would get drunk and spill something there every single night. He was aware of it, he just chose not to clean it up
He complained of a bad hangover one time but he blamed it on the "totally legal" workout drugs he injected which are "like steroids, but not" that he orders from overseas. He took them bc he was gonna have sex that night.
There& #39;s a lot of shit I can& #39;t say publicly because of certain... Activities. But oh lourde they& #39;re wild
While unpacking he showed me this poster. I thought it was awesome because it& #39;s obviously hilarious. Turns out it& #39;s just one of his 3 wolf posters. He really likes wolves
HE JUST HAD A FUCKING KID. HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT IT FOR 8MONTHS AND NOW HE& #39;S A FATHER
THE GUY WHO DIDNT KNOW HOW TO USE A SPONGE LAST YEAR NOW HAS A FUCKONG baby
Omfg
THE GUY WHO DIDNT KNOW HOW TO USE A SPONGE LAST YEAR NOW HAS A FUCKONG baby
Omfg
