Thread by @sassyblackdiva, Can you imagine being the type of person Caroline Calloway rejects???? Maybe: [...]

Can you imagine being the type of person Caroline Calloway rejects???? Maybe: Scott please slide into my DM’s I have a lot of questions as well as some deep breathing exercises for you.

I’d literally rather work at Nasty Gal again before going on another date with a male model but okay. #highemotionalintelligence #highintellectualintelligence

If her landlord follows her it’s a WRAP.

Despite waking up at 7:30 she can only promise.........TWO?!?!?????!?!?

So what is the truth, CC???

Confession: I had to take remedial math twice in college then a class called “Math Ideas” just to graduate but there’s no way in hell I’m worse at math than CC. incredible.

Goddess bless

HER FREAKIN MIND

I say this in the nicest way possible: Caroline gets distracted by herself the same way my dog reacts when he walks by a mirror. Also.........dr*gs. Clearly.

Here are some ideas for Caroline to turn her life around:
1. Sell all of her furniture, surrender her apartment and become a vlogger who lives out of a van.
2. Move home to Falls Church, Virginia to open a Dippin Dots franchise.
3. Move to Santa Cruz and work on the bordwalk.

4. Become a Mormon wife blogger. (I would suggest a Kabbalah phase but that’s my thing.)
5. Pre-school teacher in middle america
6. Kamala Harris campaign trail intern
7. DIY Influencer with her own endcap at Michaels or Hobby Lobby

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: I strongly suspect Caroline Calloway is performance art. It’s the only thing that could explain this.

Would anyone like to come hang with me at my tableaux? We can snort the amoxicillin my dentist gave me

Would anyone like to come hang with me at my tableaux? We can snort the amoxicillin my dentist gave me

She deleted a comment from a fan saying she was unfollowing but not the obvious troll this is DELICIOUS.

MY QUEEN

*picks up phone to dial Olivia Pope & Associates*

This is like....... “in space no one can hear you scream” dark. That brief moment of sadness before she hops back into trying to S some D is just... *chef’s kiss*

“GIRL THIS IS MY PERSONALITY.” is what i say to my mom when she asks me why i spend all my time tweeting/being depressed

She said “I love my job” I have to LAUGH.

okay so we all absolutely agree that she stole this fiddle leaf fig though right

It’s almost time for THE hottest sale of Labor Day weekend, bbs!!!! #9pmnebraskatime

SMOL BEANS ASSEMBLE. LFGGGGGG

“Her Saturn Foot” is my new drag name. No further questions at this time.

Honey! That last sentence is a mouthful!

Wait until CC gets a load of this

Caroline has no time for her own idol Cat Marnell calling out her erratic behavior she is too busy BUNDLING ART BB!!!!!!!!!!!

I, too, would record Taylor Swift covers if I were a musician

I can’t believe we’re already on #18. Also she’s clearly on this journey as an attempt to make rent/continue her fake poor narrative and it’s truly a harrowing experience. If for some god forsaken reason she sold every one that’s $2500+. Amazing.

You mean to tell me you weirdos are going out of your way to not only message her but to bring up her father? Right in front of my salad??????? STOP THAT