Okay, let me tell you about my friend Jose. Jose is AMAB, 6’5” and built like a linebacker, with lots of visible tattoos. They’re trying to grow a big lumberjack beard but the genes for it aren’t quite there so for now it’s Quentin Collins-style mutton chops. /1

Jose is a master of wearing just enough eyeliner to make you question whether they’re wearing eyeliner or just have really pretty eyes. But in general if you saw them on the street you’d likely think “that is a big scary looking dude.” /2

Jose is non-binary (And pansexual but that’s not important to the story) and uses singular “they.” /3

Yesterday Jose was excited to go to a local meetup for Latinx “women and nonbinary people” because they were hoping to make some friends/community connections. /4

I spent an hour last night at Jose’s apartment with them literally crying on my shoulder because they were told they weren’t welcome at the meeting. /5

Someone there told them when they said “women and nonbinary people” what they actually meant was “women, and women who identify as nonbinary.” That’s apparently an actual quote. /6

I have always had issues with the phrase “women and nonbinary” but today I am LIVID that my friend went looking for community and allies and basically got rejected for not being some waify androgyne. /7