Drunk tweets by cal — a series

I’m too nice and it’s pathetic

I eat meat. And I like it.

Plz destroy me vegans.

I just talked in a New Jersey accent for more than an hour. I feel like an ass.

I wanna carve a fucking pumpkin

I really gotta start pampering myself. Shit.

I need to get some mf fall clothes so I can stunt on some bitches

It’s just metaphorical. Please. ALL WOMEN have the right to stunt in their mf fall clothes.

My kink: Santa

Or Hagrid. Same thing.