if you grew up w an emotionally distant caretaker, chances are you embodied some of those traits and behaviors to protect yourself from heartbreak and dissapointment while interacting with them. you run from affection/passion because it’s unfamiliar and it makes you uncomfortable

healing this emotional distance as a defense mechanism means letting your guard down, letting love in, sharing your feelings more, letting yourself be and feel love and coming to terms with the fact that emotional folks aren’t annoying, you are just detached. reattach.

you don’t trust people because you couldn’t trust your caretaker to protect you, listen, care. your inner child is deeply wounded and you need to be the one to hold them and it’s okay to let yourself feel like that kid again. avoiding relationships is not a solution.

then there is the person who is codependent due to being emotionally neglected so they can’t seem to operate without a romantic relationship and can be overly sensitive and clingy. sometimes you stay in abusive relationships because you don’t want to be alone.

and when you know you are with someone who doesn’t care about you, you attempt to love them hoping they will return the same affection and you become desperate for attention you trust easily, you get lonely, depressed, and hyper-sexual.

relationships aren’t a solution, healing this requires independence and you can cultivate it for yourself by spending more time exploring things you dislike and usually wouldn’t try, taking yourself on dates, living alone, traveling making yourself feel secure w/o a counterpart.

and this doesn’t just mean romantic relationships you can overestimate your place in folks lives often, assume friendships where there are not, but you have a hard time maintaining bonds so you look flightly and topical.