Inspired by @_shannon93& #39;s commitment to Jake Gyllenhaal, I& #39;m gunna watch all of @VancityReynolds& #39;s films, in chronological order, excluding cameos & films he& #39;s in for about 5 seconds. I& #39;ll rewatch the ones I& #39;ve already seen in the name of science. Yes, even that one.
Ordinary Magic (1993)
5/10
- Ryan& #39;s first film (according to Wikipedia)
- he& #39;s 16/17 but looks about 12
- not bad but not good either, it simply exists
- however there are some really good parts
- questionable accents
- so much turkey
- actuallly quite wholesome towards the end
Coming Soon (1999)
6.5/10
- the only reason this film tanked & is rated so badly is cuz it centres around women enjoying sex, asking for what they want & how bad men are at making women orgasm
- some soft queer contenthttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❗" title="Red exclamation mark symbol" aria-label="Emoji: Red exclamation mark symbol">
- Ryan plays a loveable weirdo in a band
- deserved better
Boltneck (2000)
6/10
- "BOLTNECK WAS A MASTERPIECE!"
https://youtu.be/uxbQATBAXf8 
-">https://youtu.be/uxbQATBAX... I love horror parody bullshit like this so it was right up my street
- the scientific theory & practice was so bad it& #39;s hilarious
- Ryan is a crusty goth punk
- live guillotine
- what happened to Igor?
Finder& #39;s Fee (2001)
6/10
- not as boring as the synopsis suggests
- not as exciting as the film poster looks
- slow burn
- still a good story
- betrayed by the film poster again because baby-face Reynolds has a disgusting goatee
- still fancy him though
- Matthew Lillard
Van Wilder (2002)
7/10
- exactly my kind of garbage
- filthy
- the soundtrack fucking slaps
- between the ages of 25 & 26, @VancityReynolds finally went through puberty & it shows
- SO MUCH DEADPOOL FORESHADOWING / it& #39;s like a Deadpool Easter Egg time capsule
- Colossus the dog
Buying The Cow (2002)
4/10
- what the fuck was that
- & I say that as someone who watched people eating dog spunk doughnuts in Van Wilder
- this film only scored as high as 4 because @VancityReynolds was naked for most of it
- like fully naked
- the nonce plotline? I?
- Ryan?
Still thinking about this abomination. It& #39;s not even so bad that it& #39;s good, it& #39;s just tragic.
Here& #39;s the only part of Buying The Cow worthy of praise:
Excuse me Twitter but when have I EVER chosen NOT to see this?
The In-Laws (2003)
6/10
- Ryan& #39;s not in this much but it sounded fun so I watched it
- who doesn& #39;t love an undercover secret agent rom-com?
- Michael Douglas makes every film he& #39;s in 10x better
- Albert Brooks is great too
- I& #39;m just a sucker for any film with a wedding
Foolproof (2003)
8/10
- never even heard of this film before & it& #39;s a fucking banger
- emotional rollercoaster
- excellent casting
- there& #39;s really not much I can say about this film without spoiling the plot
- Ryan& #39;s hair looks bad
- worth watching
I GET TO WATCH BLADE TRINITY NEXT I& #39;M VERY EXCITED! Even though I have to watch the first two beforehand because I have never seen a Blade film because I& #39;m a terrible vampire.
Cannot WAIT to get to 2009-10. I& #39;ve seen most of these because I started watching Ryan Reynolds films in 2009 (I wonder why?) BUT I& #39;m excited to watch these simultaneously & then ride the downward spiral, no, the salmon-cannon garbage chute, that was 2011 onwards.
Blade: Trinity (2004)
6/10
- Ryan chained up & getting the shit kicked out of him
- Wade Wilson as fuck
- VAMPIRE DOGS!
- brilliantly cast
- anticlimactic
- but overall okay
- Jessica Biel
- Natasha Lyonne
- Parker Posey
- Ryan chained up & getting the shit kicked out of him
The Amityville Horror (2005)
5.5/10
- I& #39;ve seen this film a few times & I honestly can& #39;t decide if the film is decent or if Ryan& #39;s just really good in it
- Ryan does scary really well & I wish he did it more often
- aesthetically pleasing
- shirtless axe-wielding
- so much wood
Waiting (2005)
4/10
- I& #39;m not sure this film should even exist
- why is there SO much noncing
- the only redeeming quality is that it& #39;s highly relatable content for anyone who& #39;s worked in the food service industry
- seriously, so much noncing
- what were they trying to achieve
Now I have to watch Just Friends which is honestly one of the worst films ever made.
Just Friends (2005)
2/10
- fatphobic misogynistic what-the-fuck-were-you-all-thinking BULLSHIT
- set it on fire, destroy all record of this film & never speak of it again
- if I had a time machine I& #39;d go back to the moment Ryan signed on to this film & drag him out by the balls
Smokin& #39; Aces (2006)
6.5/10
- I& #39;ve seen this film a couple of times & I seem to enjoy it less every time because I don& #39;t feel the tension anymore so it& #39;s just not as exciting or interesting
- still good
- Ryan goes really hard in this film & I appreciate that
- unbelievable cast
The NIN9S (2007)
8.5/10
- complete & utter mindfuck
- Black Mirror/Twilight Zone vibes
- Melissa McCarthy is wonderful & brilliant
- original, smart, gripping & twisted
- well-written
- first film on the list I& #39;m actually going to add to my DVD collection
- Ryan& #39;s ginger
Chaos Theory (2008)
8.5/10
- wow
- heartbreaking, hilarious, wholesome.
- Big Mood
- daddy
- might have just become one of my favourite films
- also adding this one to the DVD collection
Definitely Maybe (2008)
8/10
"I forgot to tell you the happy ending"
"What is it?"
"You."

- I really love this film
- it& #39;s easily one of the best romcoms ever made
- definitely top 3
- maybe even better than 10 Things...
- yeah, I did that on purpose
- Abigail Breslin is amazing
Fireflies In The Garden (2008)
7/10
- close to home
- a bit torn on how they wrapped up the parental abuse plotline, it was disappointing/sad but weirdly more realistic that way because that& #39;s how parental abuse works
- incredible cast
- beautifully shot
- thankfully no incest
Adventureland (2009)
5/10
- it& #39;s not a bad film I just find it dull
- nauseating & noncy
- boring characters
- seems to go on forever & yet nothing really happens
- yet it& #39;s somehow still slightly captivating
- Bill Hader/Kristen Wiig/Kristen Stewart are great
Ugh.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
5.5/10
The Proposal (2009)
9/10
- https://youtu.be/nsSTDFyYvc4 
-">https://youtu.be/nsSTDFyYv... one of the greatest films of our generation
- I still remember watching it for the first time
- Whoever cast Ryan & Sandra together, I& #39;d like to start a religion in your name.
- comedy gold
- WHOLESOME
- Betty fucking White
Paper Man (2009)
7.5/10
- one of my favourite Ryan Reynolds films
- Drop Dead Fred x Finding Neverland
- Ryan is hot as fuck & in spandex
- relatable content
- noncy overtones but they reel it in
- honestly Ryan is so hot
- funny, sad, beautiful.
Meet Captain Excellent, you& #39;re welcome.
& also there& #39;s this
Oh god. Buried is the most stressful film I& #39;ve ever seen & I swore I& #39;d never put myself through it again but that& #39;s still somehow more appealing than knowing I have to watch Green Lantern for the first time since I paid to see it in the cinema.
I& #39;m watching Buried & I hate this film so much because it& #39;s so good but it& #39;s so fucking distressing
I want to protect you
Buried (2010)
9/10
- I love this film so much & yet never want to see it again
- one of Ryan& #39;s best performances
- I have so much admiration for filmmakers who can pull off stuff like this
- somehow provides a devastating commentary on modern society from underground in a box
Green Lantern (2011)
5/10
- & that& #39;s generous
- Blake Lively
- Blake AND Ryan
- the cgi is so bad & not in like a cool retro way it& #39;s just terrible
- Parallax has haunted me for years
- sucker for an origin story
- cringey af & not in a good way
- great ammo for Deadpool
- a mess
The Change-Up (2011)
7/10
- like Freaky Friday but for useless men
- Ryan Reynolds & Jason Bateman would be the last two guys I& #39;d think of putting together for a comedy & it& #39;s fantastic
- crude & hilarious
- imagine if Deadpool was a babysitter trapped in someone else& #39;s body
The Whale (2011)
8.5/10
- utterly heartbreaking
- animals at their best
- humans at their worst
- some humans trying their best but failing
- I was surprised that the whale wasn& #39;t played by Scarlett Johansson
- read up about Luna/Tsu& #39;xiit & the Mowachaht/Muchalaht First Nations
Safe House (2012)
7.5/10
- I got so angry failing to find a stream that would load past the first 10 minutes that I ended up renting it so @VancityReynolds that& #39;s another £2.49 on your tab
- nice & twisty
- some parts were predictable but that didn& #39;t ruin it
- Denzel Washington
When this thread is finished you all better send it to Ryan Reynolds at least once a day until he pays me what he owes. So far it& #39;s £2.49 in rent fees & £10 in emotional labour.
The Croods (2013)
5.5/10
- enjoyable but overall just kinda underwhelming when it it had so much potential
- the animation itself is really cute
- some really nice moments & covers some really sad topics
- I love Belt
- I would die for the saber-tooth kitty
Turbo (2013)
7/10
- this film is fucking great what the fuck?
- genuinely hilarious
- wholesome
- absolutely ridiculous cast
- Ryan makes such a good snail
- when they use their eyes like hands it kills me
- soundtrack slaps
- TACOS
About to watch R.I.P.D which I thirst-watched once before & it was an absolute train wreck, excited to revisit it.
R.I.P.D (2013)
5/10
"what did you think I was apologising for?"
"I mean, there& #39;s a list... R.I.P.D"
"horrible."
https://youtu.be/uxbQATBAXf8 
-">https://youtu.be/uxbQATBAX... utter nonsense
- Ghostbusters x 21 Jump Street & not in a good way
- Kevin Bacon is a great asshole
- some good moments
- otherwise trash
The Voices (2014)
6/10
- I& #39;ve avoided watching this cuz I was worried it would stigmatise psychotic illnesses: it does
- but he& #39;s still portrayed as a good person?
- is it satire? a parody? who knows
- felt like it was trying to make a point about something & just missed
- tender
The Voices: best lines
and then there& #39;s this
Mississippi Grind (2015)
5.5/10
- it& #39;s not a bad film but it& #39;s also not for me
- films about gambling are boring
- another £2.49 on the tab
- you get to see Ryan& #39;s cute & ridiculous leg tattoos all the way up his thigh
- he& #39;s also very attractive in this
- soft towards the end
Woman In Gold (2015)
9/10
"It is estimated that over 100,000 works of art stolen by the Nazis have not been returned to their rightful owners"
- read the story of the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I
- Helen Mirren is incredible

- & #39;never again& #39; is now:
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/06/26/how-to-donate-to-help-migrant-children-at-the-border.html">https://www.cnbc.com/2019/06/2...
Self/Less (2015)
5.5/10
- such a great concept & yet so badly executed
- it really is all over the place
- the last 40 minutes or so are great but by that point it& #39;s too little too late
- nice ending
- twisted
- provides evidence to support the theory that we should eat the rich
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🖤" title="Black heart" aria-label="Emoji: Black heart">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♥️" title="Heart suit" aria-label="Emoji: Heart suit"> DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT DEADPOOL NEXT https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♥️" title="Heart suit" aria-label="Emoji: Heart suit">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🖤" title="Black heart" aria-label="Emoji: Black heart">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🖤" title="Black heart" aria-label="Emoji: Black heart">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♥️" title="Heart suit" aria-label="Emoji: Heart suit"> DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME DEADPOOL TIME https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="♥️" title="Heart suit" aria-label="Emoji: Heart suit">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🖤" title="Black heart" aria-label="Emoji: Black heart">
STARRING & #39;GOD& #39;S PERFECT IDIOT& #39;
Wade Wilson really went from being nervous about getting pegged in Deadpool 1 to eagerly wanting to make a super-baby with a strap-on in Deadpool 2, we love a strong character development. Thank you @VancityReynolds.
Deadpool (2016)
9.5/10
- a game-changer
- they did so well writing around the clusterfuck of his first portrayal
- watching Ryan on the press junket is so sweet cuz he& #39;s so nervous about how the film is going to do & it exceeded everyone& #39;s expectations
- I love you, Wade Wilson.
Not much left now & then we get into unreleased territory. I& #39;m also watching Once Upon A Deadpool because I am garbage.
I& #39;m watching Criminal & Piers Morgan is in this film so it& #39;s automatically cancelled.
Criminal (2016)
4.5/10
- what a mess
- hard to follow
- terrible science
- had to take a nap half way through
- another £2.49 on the tab @VancityReynolds
- who gave Piers Morgan the greenlight to be in this the fucking gammon sandwich
- incredible cast WASTED
No Good Deed (2017)
8.5/10
- even though this is just under 4 minutes long, it& #39;s still listed in his filmography & also I am Deadpool trash
- originally shown as a pre-film short before Logan
- you get to see Ryan& #39;s butt
- loads of easter eggs in such a short space of time
Life (2017)
7.5/10
- I genuinely love this film despite the fact that I was conned into watching it because Ryan& #39;s character dies very early on
- provided us with the Jake Gyllenhaal/Ryan Reynolds press junket which is a blessing in itself
- I love that the alien is called Calvin
The Hitman& #39;s Bodyguard (2017)
9/10
- I fucking love this film
- one of my favourite films
- incredible cast
- I cannot WAIT for the sequel
Deadpool 2 (2018)
9.5/10
- the only reason it loses half a point is for fridging Vanessa
- which they could still fix
- I saw this 3 times the day it came out
- & then streamed it almost every day for a week
- I love this film with all my heart & it actually helped me a lot
So I& #39;ve got Once Upon A Deadpool & Detective Pikachu & then I& #39;ve really watched all @VancityReynolds films in under a month, huh. Might even branch out into his made-for-TV films if I have time.

Also, I& #39;m absolutely turning this thread into a blog featuring alternative rubrics.
Once Upon A Deadpool (2018)
8/10
- I have never laughed so much in a cinema
- best for people who& #39;ve watched the theatrical & supercut multiple times
- love that they used it to call themselves out re: fan criticisms i.e. fridging
- a moneygrab for charity
- testing the PG waters
tag yourself I& #39;m Fred Savage
The fact that there are 3 credits scenes in this film & the first one tries to trick you into thinking there isn& #39;t any at all is so typical Deadpool
Detective Pikachu (2019)
6/10
- if it wasn& #39;t for the problematic villain arc I think I& #39;d enjoy this film a lot more
- Pikachu is so fuzzy
- the Bulbasaur scene really gets me
- it& #39;s generally very wholesome & funny
- Detective Daddy
Well, I& #39;m all caught up. Kinda sad it& #39;s done but it& #39;ll restart later this year with Six Underground & then next year with The Hitman& #39;s Wife& #39;s Bodyguard & Free Guy.

Thanks for keeping me company while I& #39;m off sick @VancityReynolds, can& #39;t wait to not tell my therapist about this.
6 Underground (2019)
8.5/10
- damn, it& #39;s good to be back
- getting shit on unnecessarily
- knows exactly what it is & milks it beautifully
- Scottish accent
- perfect messy nonsense action film
- there& #39;s some genuinely tense sequences that are incredible
You can follow @wyllawel.
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