I wish there was a directory of film directors where you look a name up and it's just a summary of Orson Welles roasting them.

Orson Welles was such a savage

Allen, Woody:

I love when Orson Welles bitches about Bogdanovich. Like an old married couple that immediately talk shit about the other when they leave the room.

Bogdanovich, Peter

In which Orson Welles reveals that Chaplin had six gagmen, Buster Keaton was better, Modern Times was terrible and that Chaplin looked terrific as a woman.

Chaplin, Charlie

In which Orson Welles challenges historians to prove him wrong that Cecil B. DeMille invented the fascist salute.

DeMille, Cecil B.

Even when Orson considered a director "great," the big man still had to bring the fire.

Eisenstein, Sergei

Not even Orson's friends are spared.

Ford, John

This is some of the hardest ownage of all time.

Godard, Jean-Luc

In which Orson Welles takes aim at Rear Window, Vertigo and Hitchcock's mental cognizance.

Hitchcock, Alfred

Since Welles took aim at Bergman so much, I'm filing him under "I" too.

Ingmar Bergman

Since I can't find a "J" director whom Welles unmercifully roasted, I thought I'd pause this roast fest to find Big Daddy Orson at an actual roast, this one for Jimmy Stewart, where Orson brings the house down with a compliment for Jimmy instead.

Welles would have been a "snitches get stitches" guy.

Kazan, Elia

Orson verbally punching John Landis in the balls so hard it might begin to explain Max Landis

Landis, John