Adventures in Grad School: A Chronicle
Classes start on 2 weeks. I have to read 3 articles before the 1st class. Can't access the articles w/out my library login. Can't get library login w/out student ID. I can't get student ID until I register. I can't register w/out class codes.
I can't get class codes until I produce immunization records. For shots I had when I was 18. I am 43.
Making some progress, m'hijos! After SEVEN voicemails, health services called me back to confirm that if I was a Ss there before (I was) then my immuno records would be on file!

Me: Great! Can you check my file?
HS: No, we can't check the records directly, but the registrar can.
Sweet. I call the registrar (a bunch of times).
R: sure we can check that. Come in and I'll give you a form to walk over to health services.
Me: I live an hour away. You want me to drive an hour, get a form, walk it next door, and then drive an hour back?
R:.........please hold
Reg: ......ok, nope you're all good to register.
Me: great so I just need the course codes.
R: those come from your professor
I got the course codes!!!! Now I have to log in to the Student Self Service Portal. It was designed circa 1997, and does not appear to have been updated since.
Now registered for class! I am pleasantly surprised to report that the cost of textbooks per class is roughly the same as when I went to college 24 years ago!
Had a fabulous dream that I ran into @LizNeeley at the Mall and we hung out for the weekend at a conference about pantsuits. At the closing session I won $9K for tuition and I sobbed until everyone was embarrassed and left.
Reading an article for my first class next week. I'm still in the introduction and I'm already yelling at the page.
Classes start this week. I think my schedule is about to shift dramatically as early morning hours are the most quiet and productive. 4am wakeup and 8pm bed time. Goodbye pop culture. Still be cool in three years, ok? courses unlocked in the webportal.
OMG this paper I'm reading is so repetitive. Everytime I read "In other words...." I get another gray hair.
I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm going to have to throw my phone down a well to make any headway on my coursework.
Me, five minutes after sequestering my phone:
After 90 pages of academic reading today, I think I'm going to start framing everything in terms of research questions.

Tautological queries in epicurian family dynamics: How many ways do I have to ask what you want for dinner?
Community resources and shared responsibility as a lynchpin of familial routine: Who finished the milk and put it back empty?
I had printed, read, highlighted, and annotated an article THIS WEEK and have no recollection of doing so. To the point that I searched for, printed the same article, only to find a marked up copy in my annotated bib binder. I think it's time for a break.
If you don't have imposter syndrome are you even IN grad school?
New module's COGNITIVE LOAD!!!!!
Took a day off. Time to get some coffee and tackle this To Do list for class on Wednesday.
I will never not be tired again, m'hijos.
My brain is full. And not in a haha way. I've read the same paragraph over and over. I've got nothing.
I HAVE made progress though!
From a paper on ed-tech integration and stress, re: sampling method:
"Due to the size of the universe,...[the sample of teachers] was by random sampling method..." 😆😆😆
The textbook I'm using is used. I can see the exam moment when the previous reader gave up on this class.
If I stay up the entire night, I might "get ahead". It would last about 24 hours.
You know what is NOT conducive to reading 60 pages of 9 point font about metacognition?


FM entire L.
Had class last night. Got all my work in on time. Class was productive. Have my next week mapped out. Good start on my paper.

All I want to do is eat cake and cry.
My brain is full. So I decided to roll my dice to systematically decide which ones need to go into quarantine.
Pass the can for bail money, m'hijos, because the next cabrón to look in my face and say, "oh.....just a doctorate" is going to FIND OUT. #MeBailaLaMano
Wednesday is class night. I always am exhausted but come home with my brain so ramped up I can't sleep.
Tryna get ready for work.
Having now finished the university mandatory plagiarism module, I am completely academically paralyzed and will never write again.
M'hijos, who is the patron saint of barely missed deadlines. Please this is important.
In the last 8 weeks, grad school has taught me that I can hold these two thoughts in my mind simultaneously:
* I'm going to change the world!
* I am a talentless hack!
Ok I'm about to make an appointment with the librarian for my specialty and I'm so nervous. Why am I so nervous?
This conversation actually made me super glad I'm doing a doctorate a s not a PhD. So, thanks for that, gentlemen.
I took a day off, because I apparently forgot what happened the LAST time I took a day off. M'hijos, it was a huge mistake.
In an effort to document what I'm actually working on (and inspired by @WhySharksMatter article-a-day a couple years back) I'll be adding links to what I'm #nowreading.
Classes last night were incredibly productive. 8 weeks of talking theory starting to come together I to something coherent. My stats class is another story.
This week: (by Wednesday)
3 annotated bibliographies
1 midterm
3 articles to read + questions
Prep for another midterm
Analysis paper to revise
Background research for dissertation
Buenos dias, m'hijos. Time to hit the books.
Just had a grad seminar "From Stalled to Submitted". Enjoy my notes.
Breakfast in paradise. Took a much needed mini-vacation from life. Having coffee and a cupcake in one of my favorite places on Earth with some of my favorite people. Lots of work waiting for me at home but I needed it. Work-life balance, m'hijos. Whatever that looks like for you.
Tryna finish this chapter before the sun goes down. #soccermom literally.
Came home from class tonight NOT feeling like an exhausted panic. Things are starting to gel and take shape. This is starting to feel like maybe not a mistake.
Midterm done! Open notes.
Ok, now we're in the final phase of the term - working on a Gap Analysis. The topic I'm doing is info rich and relevant but DULL. Pray for me, m'hijos.
Work-life balance, m'hijos. My weekly "me time" playing #DnD at the local game store.
Today, amid all of the turkey day preparations, I get to do an article analysis, read two long AF research articles, and an online module. I got coffee, compression socks, and 800mg of ibuprofen. Let's get it.
Post Thanksgiving hammock nap. I'm thankful for all the opportunities my life brings.
Breaking my No Going Out on Black Friday rule for ice cream with my kid because I'm procrastinating, dammit, and that's what memories are made of. #gradlife
Don't do any system updates during the last week of class, m'hijos. Rookie mistake.
I definitely have to make some.big progress on this term paper TODAY, so, which room should I clean first?
Ok, one more night to work on this paper. We're down to the brass tacks, m'hijos.
If I never read another paper about SELF-EFFICACY, it will be too soon, m'hijos.
Susilo, A. P., et al. (2013). From lecture to learning tasks: use of the 4C/ID model in a communication skills course in a continuing professional education context. The Journal of Continuing Education in Nursing, 44(6), 278-284.
92% o. My stats exam! Now anxiously awaiting term paper score.
WOW! Thanks to the kindness of Twitter, my textbooks for next semester are sorted! If you bought me a book, DM me so I can send you a handwritten thank you note! Thanks, m'hijos!
Whew! Took a much needed weekend off. I'll be using this break to review some literature from last term and get my citation manager under control.
Also, grades are in! I ROCKED IT!
Welcome back from break, m'hijos! I'm ready to go. On deck is Org Theory and Qual Methods. The uni is up to the deadline to unlock the courses but the good news is I have SEVEN reminders about the tuition payment deadline!
Alrighty, first class of the term out of the way and I'm READING.
Let's get on this to-do list, m'hijos.
* Reflection paper on org leadership style
* three chapters on structural framing of orgs
* read Article on qual methods
* Online IRB certification training
* Lesson plans for the week

But FIRST...
* Dishes
* Fold laundry
* Ukelele lesson
* Drawing session
Doing lots of reading this month on organizational theory and am staggered at all the boardroom shenanigans in the research. Conclusion: nobody in charge knows what they are doing.
I've been doing CITI/IRB training for 12 hours. I want to cry. The modules are read by an AI that sounds like Keanu Reeves on a day when he's just phoning it in.
Per the new APA guidelines, I set Word to flag all my double-spaces after a period and I'm so demoralized.
Stress is a monster. I just had a brief crying fit in the bathroom at work because I thought I was development some kind of stress-induced condition that caused the capillaries around my mouth to rupture.

Turns out it was strawberry juice. I'm holding on too tight, m'hijos.
I feel this.
Current situation: procrastinating paper #2 because I'm waiting for feedback on paper #1.
Welp. Feedback is in.
When you're trying to work on your current assignment and you can't stop thinking about the one you just failed.
I took about 24 hours to lick my wounds but I'm ready to tackle this again.
Too mentally exhausted to write. Too caffeinated to sleep. Halp.
In what is becoming typical, I was stressed over practically nothing. My Prof was cool and helpful about my paper. I've got to stop doing this.
I honestly have no idea HOW people can write and edit electronically. If I couldn't do print/markup I'd be so LOST.
I find it endearing that my professors assume that problems in my paper are due to my "theoretical underpinnings" and not just due to me being cross-eyed with exhaustion. Its sweet, actually.
Working today from the Graduate Lounge, m'hijos. I feel a little light-headed. (that might be from the intense smell of varnish)
This week's #gradlife panic attack is brought to you by the Plan of Study Deadline.
I'm at my first conference as a doctoral student, m'hijos! I've heard some wild stuff and we're only 2 sessions in! I'll refrain from mentioning which conference since I'm going to be having OPINIONS. #gradlife
The first paper I heard presented, the speaker said classroom teachers were "lazy when it comes to critical thinking."
I was literally like
At lunch. The table next to me sat down, ordered, then pulled out a bottle of laphroaig. I feel like they're plan for this conference is much more thorough than mine.
Every couple hours I check my grades and am simultaneously annoyed that Prof hasn't graded my latest paper but also relieved they haven't dinged me for turning it in late. #gradlife
#protip for my new #gradlife m'hijos:
When making pointed critical commentary about the class readings, check to make sure none of the authors are the professor's spouse.
Doggo is "helping" me study. #gradlife
This week has been wild. I had work, classes, assignments due, papers to grade, I went to a conference, then landed in the hospital. I caught a bug that should have been routine and it knocked me flat. By the time I went to the ER I was tachy and septic. #gradlife
I post this because we talk about work-life balance. I've been going full-tilt for a while. Luckily I have a partner that could take the kids and run the house while I was suddenly gone for two days.
I'm super anxious thinking about the ER bill but if I had waited till morning.... It occurs to me that I'm basically working myself to death. Take care of yourselves, m'hijos. Nobody else will.
To be clear, I'm home now. Thanks, all you who expressed your concern ❤️❤️
I bought myself a printer so I don't have to walk 1/4 mile every time.i print something out! It feels so decadent. #gradlife #teacherlife
This semester got me feeling like the White Rabbit.
Two books in two days! Thank you so much @mistyg / @Sargent & @costelloland !
These found me at just the right time. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Since my application last March I've had organs surgically removed, been diagnosed with autoimmune disease, had to change my diet, had emergency hospital stay, a CT, extensive bloodwork and now need an MRI & colonoscopy.

Am I physiologically rejecting my doctorate?
So, @ucf just announced online class for all for 2 weeks. This is the 2nd largest uni in the country. Residences staying open for those that can't travel or stay home. Stay safe, m'hijos. Wash your hands, use your sneeze-pocket, and FFS, no parties!
Aaaaaand they just shut down the campus for the rest of the spring semester. All online classes from now on.
My advisor is having a "virtual tea" today at 4pm to check in with everyone in the research group
Just had a very productive Zoom call about my plan of study and lab of practice for the summer. Life is all up in the air, but making future plans is reassuring.
Working on something new this morning! STAY TUNED!
Wow! What fun! Just had a great talk with Michael and Lawrence over at @2PintPLC! I can't wait to hear the final cut.
In the midst of all this anxiety & upheaval, I've registered for classes next term. In the next few weeks I'm to submit the IRB for my Lab of Practice & try to get permission to work w/children (online?) to collect data. It's odd to be making plans as if the world were normal.
I need to spend some time wrangling references this weekend and it's giving me so much anxiety. I still haven't found a management tool that I like. 😭
Yesterday was quiet at home (the kids had no school). I had a fun and productive meeting with my doctoral cohort, then cocktails and world problem solving with @CurlyHairMafia, then TTRPG plotting with @tallahicky. Sometimes I hate zoom, but sometimes it's the best.
Group project assignment due on Easter Sunday. #gradlife
GAP_Analysis. doc
GAP_Analysis_WorkingEdit. doc
GAP_Analysis_Draft_Edit. doc
REVISED_GAP_Analysis_Draft. doc
FINAL_GAP_Analysis_Draft. doc
GAP_Stuff_usethisone. doc

how. How. HOW does this happen????
I could make a dress out of all the Post-It notes I have used writing this paper.  let's you collaborate with colleagues to edit docs in real time. ALLEGEDLY.
Term paper submitted! Clocked in at 84 pages. Now I'm off** for two weeks.

**Buried in Endnote citation updates
If you're in grad school and haven't checked out @raulpacheco blog, do yourself a huge favor and spend some time there. I'm developing my own organizational framework for reading and synthesizing thanks to him.
It just kind of hit me that at the end of this process I'm going to be a psychologist. Like, still a teacher, but it's kind of freaking me out and I don't know why.
Second term is officially over, m'hijos, it it was a little ugly there at the end, NGL. Have a ten day rest before summer term starts. I have big plans to be productive, but right now I'm going to get started working on tomorrow's hangover.
Playing chicken w/the start of my courses trying to find options for my books for the summer classes. I don't mind UNLESS the professor has us read only 10 gahtdamn pages of a 400 page text. DON'T DO THAT, professor people!!! $249.41 for 2 classes - we'd better be reading it!
Ok now the good stuff. Classes this summer. 1) Human Intelligence - features reading by Stephen Jay Gould so I am optimistic about this course and the professors sensibilities.
2) The Theory and Development of Creativity. Took this for no other reason than I know nothing about the subject.
3) Lab of Practice - I'll be doing a curriculum evaluation for biological sciences in a K12 institution. Also will be doing a small pilot study related to art instruction and scientific thinking.
This is GRAND. Class opens on Monday. My professor posted the entire list of articles for the course WITH links to PDFs. Do this please, profs. So helpful.
Why is this good? It gives me time to get everything printed and tabbed and organized. Once the course is over, I'll add this to the body of literature I'm amassing.
This book arrived off my wish list! The front desk unboxed it and put it in my mailbox so I have no note!! If this was you let me know so I can give you a proper thank you!!
Oh my God, m'hijos. More books delivered but no note!!! I'm so overwhelmed with your generosity - thank you!! 😭
Is it weird that opening a new course and printing out all the things #gradlife
On a lark, I added up all the pages that I need to read this summer, and what I learned is that DON'T DO THAT.
The readings for my Human Intelligence class are SO INTERESTING! I'm 20 years into my teaching career and I've never had detailed instruction on intelligence.
Today, I am hate-reading The Bell Curve for my Human Intelligence class. Pray my head doesn't explode.
My professor is throwing shade on it too. He gave us PDFs of TBC but had us buy Gould's rebuttal. LOL
OMG it's the professors own copy! LMAO
Had an interaction today with a professor that was kind of stressful. Prob'ly only for me, not them. Because they have all the power. They can say what they like and I have to worry about how my response will affect my future.
Confirmed: professor is complete trash. Gonna be a fun semester.
#WorkTogether #writetogether is a GAME CHANGER! Been using Zoom to meet in work groups, combine with #pomodoro method, and my productivity and accountability is WAY UP. (hat tip @DNLee5 for clueing me in)
PRODUCTIVITY HACK: Drop your phone in water. #gradlife
MORE BOOKS! Super excited about this Kelly & Green text.
Reading an article written in the 21st century that used the word "disputatious." Editors, what in the actual eff?
"Interesting perspective..." is professor-speak for "that is a dumb point, but I'm too polite to say so." #gradlife
OK, m'hijos. Enough. I am going to close these books and this laptop, go knit and watch some garbage TV. #gradlife.
Put in a long day of reading but had a major breakthrough in identifying the instrument I need to use for my data collection. It was a slog - since about mid-march it's been so hard to concentrate. Reading is harder. Writing is harder.
I just found out that I lost half of my tuition remission. I am going to figure this out but right now..... #gradlife
Trying to read a lot with **waves hands around** all this is really hard, m'hijos.
My notes and files are a hot holy mess. I think today is a day for reference management and Star Trek.
Yesterday, another book arrived. Thanks to my Twitter people, you have been so generous since this all began.
One more came today. This one from @AidanBudd - thank you Aidan!! This one is applicable to so many Educational contexts.
So great: having a professor who gives you thoughtful and detailed feedback.

Not great: having a professor who doesn't recall their previous feedback and directly contradicts themselves every time you ask.
Went to visit my parents and it was a pretty emotional stay. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed but taking the evening off for myself. Hanging out with my kid watching trash tv. Work-like balance.
What is the Zoom equivalent of kicking someone under the table to pay attention.
Dropping "bad faith argument" into a paper critique.
UV therapy. Seriously, I have an Rx. #gradlife #worklifebalance
Ooof it's going to be a heavy week, m'hijos.
Intelligence class + reading
Theory of Creativity class + reading
Lab of practice data collection
PD for work (2 hours/day)
Plan for microterm teaching
Plan for pilot study
I made the really difficult decision to drop one of my classes. It's an "extra" class (whatever that means) and I'm sad because it looks super interesting (started this week). But I'm completely stressed and overwhelmed. #gradlife
Those that know me know how hard this is for me. I don't give up on things. EVER. but staying in this class with everything else at stake would be irrational. This will give me time to focus on my research (and maybe even enjoy it. I can always take this class next summer.
The doldrums. That's where I am, m'hijos. #gradlife
I think the only way I'm going to be productive today is if there is an internet outage that includes everything except jstor
Lay off the sauce.
It would be easier to defend qualitative methodologies in my field of so many articles that used them didn't read like....
Me: In the next monthI have a research presentation (research still in progress HAHA), a term project due, an intensive class to teach, a lab to inventory, 2 courses to plan, and a gap analysis to write.

My brain: we should learn R
Caught up on my reading - such a GOOD FEELING! Will turn my attention tonight to some organizational planning so the next three weeks are as productive as possible. Its not just tasks, its thinking about tasks, planning for tasks, gathering resources for tasks, warming up for ...
I'm so happy someone wrote this tweet for me so that I don't have to.
HOW IS ANYONE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE RIGHT NOW?!?!?! I need someone to watch me work this weekend and zap me any time I get distracted.
Made some excellent progress on my Intelligence project today. Going to sit down to outline the paper, and then go over my interview notes. Tomorrow will be document analysis for my summer research and then descriptive stats for my survey.
The end of the week is going to be bananas, but right now the pieces are mentally falling into place. I feel good about it.
So far, my procrastination today:
"cleaning" my desk
going out for milk
second breakfast
contemplating cutting my own bangs
#researchpresentation #gradlife
OK, presentation done, now moving on to term paper for Intelligence class, due in 3 days...
I wonder what it would feel like to write something without an Impending Deadline of Doom? Could I even do it?
Now in Phase 3 of this paper:
Driving around my neighborhood yelling WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF at myself.
I just spent 30 minutes looking for electronic copy of a book I OWN.
Now do my term paper.
Not today, Satan.
That rising panic, when the narrative is starting to come together and you're worried you won't be able to write fast enough before you lose it.
About to jump onto a webinar with Alfie Kohn!! #gradlife
looooool these books cost $237.00
Cheapest shipping. LOOOOL
Just submitted my final paper for the summer term with 14 minutes to spare. I don't feel good about it.
A really fun feature of managing courses on Canvas is it tells you when your professor is ACTIVELY GRADING your paper. Awesome.
Looks like summer courses are closed, grades are in, and we survived, m'hijos. Special thanks to my family for listening to me cry and my friends for motivating me to work.
As usual, @raulpacheco coming through. Definitely click the links in this one. Good stuff as I gear up to draft my Milestone 1 paper.
APA conference is online this year got a most unexpected swag box. The Ed Psych branch of the APA is not pulling their punches!
Program Check-in: I have a v. important Milestone paper due end of Sept. Been reading all the things and at the stage where I realize I know nothing and I am a fraud, but I'm too invested now to quit.
I hate this take. A degree is a program of study that I'll complete after expanding knowledge in my field, after contributing to practice, after growing as a scholar. The piece of paper at the end is my damn receipt.
People in this academic meeting who "just want to reiterate the points the last two speakers made...."
The one professor who keeps promising to stop talking and then doesn't.
Me: hey the independent study I wanted to do got cancelled by the grad office
My advisor: oh, just do one with me - we can publish together.
Two great books off my wish list that I will be using a lot in the coming year. Thanks so much! You don't know how much this means to me, m'hijos.
Why is this so accurate 😂😭😂😭
I am disappoint. I got these new @Sharpie creative markers because they said NO BLEED but.....
...not as advertised... They'll be a good marker, but not for the bright highlights that I wanted.
Him: What are you working on today?
Me: ...this Milestone 1 analysis... #gradlife
Start of the Fall Semester, m'hijos! I hope you all have productive writing, plentiful sources, and no paywalls!

I started the morning by hunting the web for a last minute book addition by a prof, which is backordered on Amazon. *sigh*
Update time: this term I am taking a class on data analysis of complex problems (qual and quant), independent research into productive failure using participant observation (see Spradley), and completing the Milestone 1 paper for my program (eeek!).
This semester is ALL about the writing, m'hijos. I'm not going to lie, this feels like a lot with also teaching full time. Send virtual hugs and actual chocolate.
Currently reading: Estabrooks, L. B., & Couch, S. R. (2018). Failure as an active agent in the development of creative and inventive mindsets. Thinking Skills and Creativity, 30, 103-115.
Real a couple of papers today and now have shifted to watching horror movies with the fam.
Currently reading:
Eccles, J. S., & Wigfield, A. (2020). From expectancy-value theory to situated expectancy-value theory: A developmental, social cognitive, and sociocultural perspective on motivation. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 101859. #paperpile
I have IRB paperwork due this afternoon m'hijos and I don't know why I'm SO NERVOUS about it!! If anyone is up at 10pm and wants to proofread my draft hit me up.
You can follow @_adverbia.
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