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Literally no one asked for it, but it’s back anyway...
Welcome to Dermot’s Super-Happy-Funtime-Liverpool-FC-Based-Emotional-Rollercoaster Football Thread 2019/20!
Welcome to Dermot’s Super-Happy-Funtime-Liverpool-FC-Based-Emotional-Rollercoaster Football Thread 2019/20!
THE UEFA SUPER CUP IS THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS TROPHY IN WORLD FOOTBALL!!!!!!!
*collapses with cramp*
#LFC
*collapses with cramp*
#LFC
Graeme Souness was an all-time great for Liverpool as a player
He was also god awful for Liverpool as a manager
This is Manager Souness https://twitter.com/vmsportie/status/1161726743364943872?s=21
He was also god awful for Liverpool as a manager
This is Manager Souness https://twitter.com/vmsportie/status/1161726743364943872?s=21
At a kids’ birthday party, but in between bouncy castles and copious amounts of wine, I saw Liverpool being class!
*hiccup*
#LFC
*hiccup*
#LFC
The only negative of watching this Liverpool team is having to hide one’s noticeable boner in the pub
#LFC
#LFC
If every member of this Liverpool team wanted to smack the ever-loving shit out of me, I would carve the baseball bat myself and thank them for the honour.
#LFC
#LFC
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever seen a Bobby Firmino assist? #LFC
This is the weirdest match.
There’s far too many players on the pitch, the crowd cheers every time the ball goes over, they’re using their fucking *hands*, and neither team is Liverpool.
It’s feckin’ class craic, though
#LFC #AllIrelandFinal
There’s far too many players on the pitch, the crowd cheers every time the ball goes over, they’re using their fucking *hands*, and neither team is Liverpool.
It’s feckin’ class craic, though
#LFC #AllIrelandFinal
If football was a person I’d shit in their food. It’s a horrible sport and I hope it dies.
#LFC #UCL
#LFC #UCL
I love Jürgen Klopp more than I like most people https://playerstribu.ne/JurgenKlopp
Liverpool won tonight while using a player born in 2003.
This is the weirdest cocktail of joy and despair
#LFC
This is the weirdest cocktail of joy and despair
#LFC
Missed the match but just woke up to find out Liverpool are still feckin’ class.
*goes back to sleep*
#LFC
*goes back to sleep*
#LFC
I’m not saying I was too deliriously jetlagged to go to go watch the match, but kssosndveopfkclsbdjslp
#LFC #UCL
#LFC #UCL
• #LFC get eight wins from eight
• Wolves beat Citeh
• Newcastle beat United, sending Everton into the relegation zone
I have to say...
• Wolves beat Citeh
• Newcastle beat United, sending Everton into the relegation zone
I have to say...
Form and league positions mean a sum total of fuck all. It’s always the biggest game of the season, and this doc has me buzzing for Sunday
#LFC #MUFC https://twitter.com/lfc/status/1184914978748260352?s=21
#LFC #MUFC https://twitter.com/lfc/status/1184914978748260352?s=21
If we had won that in the last few minutes, I’d currently be running naked through the streets of Dublin.
Considering how shite we were, I’ll take that.
#LFC
Considering how shite we were, I’ll take that.
#LFC
Bad News: only saw about 2 minutes of the match tonight
Good News: We won, and I’ve just had a slice of some bomb ass lemon drizzle cake
#LFC #UCL
Good News: We won, and I’ve just had a slice of some bomb ass lemon drizzle cake
#LFC #UCL
GET TO THE KOPPA!!!
#LFC https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/arnold-schwarzenegger-actor-liverpool-news-17144069
#LFC https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/arnold-schwarzenegger-actor-liverpool-news-17144069
I want to cradle @_fabinhotavares in my arms and tell him how special he is, but he’d probably just side-step me and play a peach of a ball over my head.
#LFC
#LFC
Liverpool go through to the Quarter-Finals of the League Cup, after the most insane game of football ever!
And I missed it.
#LFC
And I missed it.
#LFC
That’s WARD-Prowsey, thank you very much https://twitter.com/southamptonfc/status/1190648529905233920?s=21
No shit, Jimmy Milner #LFC
I love this man. I love him more than... than... uh... my own... feet?
Yeah, fuck it, that’ll do.
#LFC
Yeah, fuck it, that’ll do.
#LFC
Listen, I’m delighted with the result, but my heart and my sphincter can’t take much more of this type of game
#LFC
#LFC
Didn’t get to watch the match, but I spontaneously got an erection at the exact same time the final whistle was blown.
“Blowing the final whistle” is not a euphemism.
#LFC
“Blowing the final whistle” is not a euphemism.
#LFC
Three matches in a row that I haven’t been able to watch, so I’ve just been watching really hot porn instead. Same diff.
#LFC
#LFC
“At Standard Chartered, we believe we should use technology to make better human connections”
Sound, then use it for that, and not this creepy bullshit
#LFC https://twitter.com/lfc/status/1203962487382560768
Sound, then use it for that, and not this creepy bullshit
#LFC https://twitter.com/lfc/status/1203962487382560768
They probably hadn’t intended to announce this yet, but people needed good news, so they gave them the Best News! https://twitter.com/lfc/status/1205449182309441536
Once again, missed the match.
Once again, shat my pants refreshing Twitter.
Once again, worth it.
#LFC
Once again, shat my pants refreshing Twitter.
Once again, worth it.
#LFC
If you want to beat Liverpool, just make sure none of their players are old enough to attend the match without a guardian.
#LFC #CarabaoCup
#LFC #CarabaoCup
Fans Of Teams That Will Likely Never Even Get The Chance To Compete In The Club World Cup: “Who cares about the Club World Cup?”
Liverpool Fans: “Can’t talk, busy being World Champions”
#LFC #ClubWC
Liverpool Fans: “Can’t talk, busy being World Champions”
#LFC #ClubWC
Must keep repeating to self “it’s not over yet, it’s not over yet”
But it’s so fucking hard! In every sense
#LFC
But it’s so fucking hard! In every sense
#LFC
I used to use this thread to spout hyperbolic shit like, “Liverpool are the best team in the world”
But lads. This Liverpool team? It is THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD
#LFC #OneFullYearUnbeaten
But lads. This Liverpool team? It is THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD
#LFC #OneFullYearUnbeaten
Me after the #LFC kids knock The Ev out of the FA Cup:
Oh yeah. Super Cup AND World Club Cup.
Quintuple! #LFC
https://twitter.com/englishandys/status/1213883187081945088?s=21 https://twitter.com/EnglishAndys/status/1213883187081945088
Quintuple! #LFC
https://twitter.com/englishandys/status/1213883187081945088?s=21 https://twitter.com/EnglishAndys/status/1213883187081945088
Beer in hand, Spice Bag in belly, #LFC 16 points clear at the top of the Premier League...
A kiss in the rain.
The birth of child.
Helping a fellow human in a time of need.
Sod all that, the best feeling in this world is beating Manchester United to go 16 POINTS clear at the top of the Premier League with a game in hand!!!
#LFC
The birth of child.
Helping a fellow human in a time of need.
Sod all that, the best feeling in this world is beating Manchester United to go 16 POINTS clear at the top of the Premier League with a game in hand!!!
#LFC
Tired: Salah’s goal with the Titanic music
Inspired: Salah’s goal with Alan Silvestri’s Portals from Avengers: Endgame
#LFC
Inspired: Salah’s goal with Alan Silvestri’s Portals from Avengers: Endgame
#LFC
(
Best thing I’ve ever done)
Best thing I’ve ever done)
Wolves tore into Liverpool so much in that game, I thought a “Directed by @carnojoe” credit was gonna pop up at the end.
AND YET WE
JUST
KEEP
WINNING!
#LFC
AND YET WE
JUST
KEEP
WINNING!
#LFC
It was much easier to be funny on this thread when we were occasionally shit. I’m sorry.
#LFC #ARE #GONNA
#LFC #ARE #GONNA
I’m having to repeatedly stab myself in the scrotum with pins to prevent spontaneously combusting with joy watching Liverpool these days.
Worth *OW* it.
#LFC
Worth *OW* it.
#LFC
The Liverpool Kids have done it!
They’ll get all the ice-cream they can eat on the way home now
#LFC #FACup
#TheQuintupleIsStillOn
They’ll get all the ice-cream they can eat on the way home now
#LFC #FACup
#TheQuintupleIsStillOn
John Oliver introducing Stephen Colbert to the majesty of Jurgen Klopp #LFC
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*deep breath*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
#LFC #MCFC
*deep breath*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
#LFC #MCFC
I bought a NowTV pass to watch the match. It was the wrong pass, and I ended it up missing it. Total disaster.
(I mean, we won and have gone 25 points clear at the top, but I just wanted to throw some negativity into this thread. Shake things up a bit)
#LFC
(I mean, we won and have gone 25 points clear at the top, but I just wanted to throw some negativity into this thread. Shake things up a bit)
#LFC
Man City shouldn’t be the only team banned from the Champions League. Every team should be. Cancel the competition. Cancel football altogether
#LFC #UCL
#LFC #UCL
LIVERPOOL ARE NEVER GOING TO LOSE ANOTHER LEAGUE GAME
(Liverpool will now almost certainly lose their next league game)
#LFC
(Liverpool will now almost certainly lose their next league game)
#LFC
*looks at previous tweet in this thread*
*looks at today’s result*
I WILL NEVER WIN THE EUROMILLIONS AND HAVE A MASSIVE PENIS
*waits*
#LFC
*looks at today’s result*
I WILL NEVER WIN THE EUROMILLIONS AND HAVE A MASSIVE PENIS
*waits*
#LFC
Me: Okay, Liverpool, I’m just off to the States for a while, keep winning every match and being the best team in world football while I’m away!
#LFC:
#LFC:
Time is a construct. Days don’t exist. Sleep is a dream. Words have no meaning. Blorp in a snorp.
(Translation: Jetlag made me miss the match and I’m delirious, but yay)
#LFC
(Translation: Jetlag made me miss the match and I’m delirious, but yay)
#LFC
Somehow, after this mental last few months, our season is essentially over.
Football is a psychopathic, rabid chimp of a sport
#LFC #UCL
Football is a psychopathic, rabid chimp of a sport
#LFC #UCL
It’s just like watching the pros, boys
