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The lab boys are telling me I'm not supposed to influence the outcome of these tests, but I paid for the damn buffet, so I'm telling you that you're to dress in smokey BBQ when that option in the test occurs. You'll know what to do - the dip tubs are enormous.
Those of you that expressed a preference for boneless wings during the questionnaire portion have been singled out for advanced testing. You're going to help us find new ways to dress up A CHICKEN NUGGET, WHICH IS WHAT A BONELESS WING DAMN WELL IS
Any of you down there got a hankering for ginger? Don't worry, that's part of the test environment. We're pumping the atmosphere in there with just about anything that resembles a fox.
It's all really just a fine mist. We knew that just pelting you with oranges was pointless.
It's all really just a fine mist. We knew that just pelting you with oranges was pointless.
Transformation rays? In this economy?! We're going to trigger a reaction the good old fashioned way: allergies. If any of you start sneezing, double check immediately if you've got a new tail - there's fifty bucks and an upgrade from ranch dressing if this works on you.
I am gonna get my army of delicious fox girls, by god, or someone's going to die trying.
Not you, test subjects.
Not you, test subjects.
Apparently there's one or two of the lab boys bleating about 'ethics committees' and 'investigations,' so they're going to pull a few of you out of there.
Anyone with the guts to wrestle a labcoat to the ground and make sure they get a lung full of fox particulate gets a cat.
Anyone with the guts to wrestle a labcoat to the ground and make sure they get a lung full of fox particulate gets a cat.
...a car, damn it, a new car.
You're ALL pretty definitely getting the cat. I don't know how long any of you spent reading the waivers you signed, but judging by the reactions to the first bit of orange fluff down there you're going to be stunned to go home in a takeaway bag.
You're ALL pretty definitely getting the cat. I don't know how long any of you spent reading the waivers you signed, but judging by the reactions to the first bit of orange fluff down there you're going to be stunned to go home in a takeaway bag.
Anyone still wondering why the jumpsuits you were given are so baggy? You might have figured out the answer to that one by now.
Just know that if they're too tight that is not part of any test protocol, but it is still fantastic, I admit.
Just know that if they're too tight that is not part of any test protocol, but it is still fantastic, I admit.
