Thread of weird questions I’ve gotten at work

Them: “Do you know where I can buy a cockatiel?”
Me: “..... a cockatiel?”
Them: “Yeah like the bird. I know you sell the food for them, but where can I buy one?”

This woman ripped the tags off a full outfit (shirt, pants & belt) and THEN asked “I hope it’s ok I took the tags off, I want to wear this out”

Them: I just drove by and saw that you sell stuff for dogs
Me: yes, we do!
Them: but do you sell dogs?
Me: no, we do not sell any live animals

Little girl: do you sell turtles?
Me: no I’m really sorry sweetie, we don’t
Her mom (presumably): do you know what they eat?
Me: uhhhh, let me transfer you to the feed department

This woman pulled so hard in the leash that it choked her dog and then after they left I realized the dog pooped in the dressing room

Someone just called to ask if I knew of any horses for sale?! No ma’am I sure don’t but good luck finding one

Woman loudly on phone in the store: the doctor told me I have an autoimmune disease, so my body attacks good cells
My brain: aaaaaaaaa why are you out in public during a pandemic????

I hate spring time in a pandemic cause every third call is asking about live chicks No sorry ma’am we don’t have live animals to get you through isolation

Ok forget the rest of this thread, it’s irrelevant. The actual craziest moment ever happened today at work. A woman said “I will kill you” when I told her we didn’t have a certain style of shoes. I truly could NOT tell if that was a joke or not...