I feel like 33-38 is a really tough age for a lot of women I know; feels like so many big decisions and future plans have to be squeezed into this lil window; just me?

It’s not just a baby decision which, yes, is huge in those years and looms over everything. It feels like all my friends this year are doing this huge reevaluation of everything. It’s a time of lurches and swerves.

like I don’t know who needs to hear this, but this morning even though everything in my life is really good, I woke up and realized it was my birthday and I started to cry. I mean, could be hormones or heat! Or the world. But! It’s a weird time.

Anyways, if anyone is either floating in that strange miasma, or has emerged from it and wants to share your advice from the other side, I would love to hear it. A birthday gift to me!!!

So women have been DMing me the most beautiful advice. I’m cry?????

I’m happy to share your advice anonymously if you would prefer me to do that. But this is really helpful for me, and I’m sure it will be for a lot of people

I mean, I’m kind of realizing that this is the entire thesis of Russian Doll

I think for me, one of the main things is that this is a time where you’re feeling like you have to make a lot of pretty permanent choices. And as a person who hates to make choices, it’s hell???? My drug is open-ended decisions

When I was little, and we would go to the grocery store, my mom would say you can have one candy only, and she’d come back to me and hour later and I’d be crying in the candy aisle because I wanted to leave my options open; after 33 the world is the candy aisle!!!!!!!!

my DMs right now are so good my heart is so full (i asked for permission to share these bc I found them useful!)

also its nice to have allies in this and to hear from them; men, if you have women partners, understand this is a strange time and you have to be good to each other!

i also am hearing from a lot of people that it is a hard time for friendships, people divide and disappear on either side of the baby or partnered line, and then also to push hard on career stuff bc its go time; and so you find yourself also very lonesome w/ these looming choices

i went to a movie and came out and had so many messages from strangers saying the wisest and most compassionate things about this strange and intense time of life; going to bed very grateful!

I have dozens and dozens of messages from women who’ve changed jobs, changed partners, frozen eggs, had kids, didn’t have kids, adopted, moved cities, cared for sick parents, completely started over.

Here’s the big takeaway: you’re not alone

this was a hard thread to write and one I considered deleting but in the end we don’t talk to each other enough while in the middle of and then on either side of these years; and if this prompts more of that talking, then it was worth it

woke up to 200+ DMs :) and I’m gonna respond to every one. thank you all for sharing your stories with me.

My inbox is the most beautiful place on earth right now

So I haven’t stopped crying off and on since I opened my DMs this morning; these are just a few of hundreds. And you can still write to me. I’m here.

this has been my very best day on this silly website; seeing everything I was so afraid to talk about and felt so isolated in reflected back to me in these hundreds of messages has been pretty walloping

a few more

I want to share a few more from what is now over 500 messages (!!!)— and to those of you I haven’t been able to get back to yet, I haven’t forgotten you. I promise that I will!

People keep giving me permission to share their stories, which is such a generous and loving thing. So I’m going to share them.

And for those of you who told me that this should be a book? Already on it.

messages are still pouring in (again so sorry if I haven’t gotten back to you yet! I am getting to everyone in time. And the DMs are still open). Reading them in bed and feeling the stress seep out of my body and be replaced by comfort

update from 1am; the messages are still hitting me in the gut

the generosity of so many of you taking the time to write out your stories is not lost on me!!!

Do you all want me to keep sharing the messages I’m getting? They are so great but don’t want to exhaust the subject.

Not for nothing but people keep on sharing their stories with me and some wanted me to pass them along in case they are helpful; glad 2 be the conduit for this weirdo time