Whole newsroom is going nuts over the Anwar vs Azmin debacle and I'm sitting here lamenting the end of Malaysia as we known it.

Harapan's over, everyone. Pack it up. Was fun while it lasted. Best get out before the roof burns down.

Before you ping me with reasons not to give up, I'd like to remind you that I'm a journalist. I see a lot of the shit you read about, uncut and raw. The unfiltered filth of the Malaysian political scene is a death knell for Malaysia.

Our only hope was Harapan. Not anymore.

Say what you will, today is the end of the line for my hopes. GE14 was a miracle. Opportunity seldom knocks twice. Hoping for another miracle is too much to ask for.

There are those who want the old guard back and to you, this is your moment - you get your old Malaysia back, the one where you were comfortable and easy-going, where you didn't give a fuck about politics since you were protected and wealthy enough.

for after all these years living here one sentence still rings in my head that will always haunt me - as a non-Malay child of a mixed marriage. The words that sound like I'm unwelcome to the very society I was born into.

"You tak suka, you boleh keluar..."