I think it’s important for women to understand the function of romance so that they don’t actually get lost in the sauce and settle for something they don’t even want.

Romance, is a courting tool to make you, the woman, receptive to the man’s advances. It’s designed to soften you up so you want to create space for them.

You still have a choice in whether or not it works.

It’s important to understand your weakness. You like compliments? Gifts? Being take out on the town? That’s cool. Enjoy it. But know that, so that you can remain aware, even when you’re being offered those things.

Allow yourself enough emotional distance so that you actually evaluate the man himself, before you fall for the show.

Is he offering you what you want, outside of romance? Is he capable of being your equal? Does he respect you & your time?

Because of our cultural programming of romance, women will project deep bonds over superficial actions. The only thing that creates deep, lasting bonds is consistency.

Don’t give men access to your body and spirit in hopes that he will love you. Be clear in your needs and desires first, and see if you can both co-create the partnership you desire.

Is he understanding when you prioritize your career (and financial independence)? Is he understanding of your need for girl’s time/alone time? Can he handle you when you’re not in service to him?

Because of cultural programming, women are deceived into thinking fulfillment only lies in partnership. Is it fulfilling? It sure can be. But if it’s the only source of fulfillment, your happiness will depend on another person.

Easiest way to be played out of your power.

Romance makes you feel good. That’s the point. But it’s not what you build a relationship on. Relationships are built on the values and desires of both parties. So you need to think beyond romance.

You also have to be willing to participate in creating the relationship you want. You have to speak up about what you like/don’t like. You have to be willing to create boundaries. To be willing to walk away if it’s not what you want. This is power.