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in the aftermath of losing my pups & the midst of a divorce here's how i'm taking care of myself:
- saying NO & not feeling bad about it. the trick is being super honest with folks. sorry i can't hang out/audition/take a call etc bc i'm not feeling well & need time to heal
- saying NO & not feeling bad about it. the trick is being super honest with folks. sorry i can't hang out/audition/take a call etc bc i'm not feeling well & need time to heal
- not drinking. i had a few weeks where i was going out all the time as a means to distract myself but it didn't really work and i just ended up feeling worse. so i committed to not drink for the next few weeks. for now i'm waiting until august. i already feel a lot better
- working out. so cliche i KNOW but i swear the gym makes me feel better. i go to orange theory at least 2 days a week & it completely kicks my ass & when i'm there i can't think about anything except what's in front of me.
i also workout with a trainer 2 days a week and she's INCREDIBLE. we talk shit and laugh the entire time and if i need to cry she lets me cry and then we move on to the next exercise like it's nothing. the gym is also great cause i can see & feel my progress which keeps me going
- setting boundaries. one of the hardest things has been resisting the urge to spill my guts to any and everyone when they ask how i'm doing. so i've had to practice/get better at saying "yeah i'm going through a divorce, it sucks but i don't really wanna talk about it"
- being honest with myself/others. when someone asks "how are you" most of us instinctively say "good!" even when things aren't good. i did that for awhile & it just made me feel worse. so now i say something like "not great but i'm working on it" or "taking it one day at a time"
- therapy. WHEW. thank goodness for my therapist! previously i was going every other week but i've been going weekly and it's really made a huge difference. it's really nice to have someone to talk to that's objective and gives me things i can work on between sessions
- affirmations. ok i know this is cheesy but i swear it works. i have daily alerts on my phone with different affirmations & even though i set them up they surprise me EVERY TIME. one says "you can't rush this process" & i swear it always pings right when i need to see it
- wins jar. this is cheesy but kinda cute, my therapist suggested i fill a jar with daily wins, no matter how big or small. then when i'm feeling crappy i go through the jar and laugh at how silly some of the wins are but just remembering i had them in the first place helps
- giving myself space to be alone. this is really hard. i said previously i had 2 wks where i was out every night. i hated being at home by myself especially since the dogs aren't there. but this is my new life & i need to accept that. so i set aside time to just do nothing.
- limiting my time & energy online. OOF this is another difficult one. i can admit i'm addicted to social media (irony party of one your table is ready) but it often makes me feel bad. so i muted & unfollowed some ppl, including folks i actually like to avoid feelings of jealousy
- voice memos. while i love journaling some days my brain is too clouded to write. so i've started recording memos where i just get everything out, sometimes they're sad other times they're deep & funny. it feels nice to listen to them wks later & see how far i've already come
even though it's hard, sharing this stuff has really made me feel better. i felt like i was keeping a huge secret (bc i was lol) & anytime someone would ask about the pod or the dogs i just felt like shit. it's been a weight off to just say "here's where i'm at"
i've also really appreciated hearing from people who've dealt with grief and divorce because it's made me feel less alone. it's also been mind blowing to realize how many women in my life are going through this same thing & feeling alone bc they're embarrassed by it.
lastly, despite all the crappy stuff it hasn't been all bad. my support system has been INCREDIBLE & a ton of weird funny things have happened during this process that i hope will show up in my writing at some point.
like who books a WEDDING show in the middle of their divorce?!? me i guess lol i ended up turning it down but trust the story is the makings of a supremely dark & hilarious comedy. then there was the quality of life checklist from the vet...the acronym was HMMM. just hysterical
arg i keep thinking of things to add to this self care list!
- future journaling. another suggestion from my therapist. when i find the energy to write, i pretend it's 2 yrs in the future & write about what happened that day & where i'm at. it's really comforting.
- future journaling. another suggestion from my therapist. when i find the energy to write, i pretend it's 2 yrs in the future & write about what happened that day & where i'm at. it's really comforting.
k last tweet for real lol promise this thread isn't me looking for sympathy/validation, it's just important for me to be honest. for the nosey folks, the divorce was a mutual decision but that doesn't make it any easier. that said i really do appreciate ya'll, thx for the love
wow. my mentions, DMs & heart are so full!! it’s gonna take a minute to comb through all the messages but in the meantime thanks for everyone’s love & support. taking the next few days off for work but i’ll be back friday w something very exciting to share! here’s a hint: 
