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in the aftermath of losing my pups & the midst of a divorce here& #39;s how i& #39;m taking care of myself:
- saying NO & not feeling bad about it. the trick is being super honest with folks. sorry i can& #39;t hang out/audition/take a call etc bc i& #39;m not feeling well & need time to heal
- saying NO & not feeling bad about it. the trick is being super honest with folks. sorry i can& #39;t hang out/audition/take a call etc bc i& #39;m not feeling well & need time to heal
- not drinking. i had a few weeks where i was going out all the time as a means to distract myself but it didn& #39;t really work and i just ended up feeling worse. so i committed to not drink for the next few weeks. for now i& #39;m waiting until august. i already feel a lot better
- working out. so cliche i KNOW but i swear the gym makes me feel better. i go to orange theory at least 2 days a week & it completely kicks my ass & when i& #39;m there i can& #39;t think about anything except what& #39;s in front of me.
i also workout with a trainer 2 days a week and she& #39;s INCREDIBLE. we talk shit and laugh the entire time and if i need to cry she lets me cry and then we move on to the next exercise like it& #39;s nothing. the gym is also great cause i can see & feel my progress which keeps me going
- setting boundaries. one of the hardest things has been resisting the urge to spill my guts to any and everyone when they ask how i& #39;m doing. so i& #39;ve had to practice/get better at saying "yeah i& #39;m going through a divorce, it sucks but i don& #39;t really wanna talk about it"
- being honest with myself/others. when someone asks "how are you" most of us instinctively say "good!" even when things aren& #39;t good. i did that for awhile & it just made me feel worse. so now i say something like "not great but i& #39;m working on it" or "taking it one day at a time"
- therapy. WHEW. thank goodness for my therapist! previously i was going every other week but i& #39;ve been going weekly and it& #39;s really made a huge difference. it& #39;s really nice to have someone to talk to that& #39;s objective and gives me things i can work on between sessions
- affirmations. ok i know this is cheesy but i swear it works. i have daily alerts on my phone with different affirmations & even though i set them up they surprise me EVERY TIME. one says "you can& #39;t rush this process" & i swear it always pings right when i need to see it
- wins jar. this is cheesy but kinda cute, my therapist suggested i fill a jar with daily wins, no matter how big or small. then when i& #39;m feeling crappy i go through the jar and laugh at how silly some of the wins are but just remembering i had them in the first place helps
- giving myself space to be alone. this is really hard. i said previously i had 2 wks where i was out every night. i hated being at home by myself especially since the dogs aren& #39;t there. but this is my new life & i need to accept that. so i set aside time to just do nothing.
- limiting my time & energy online. OOF this is another difficult one. i can admit i& #39;m addicted to social media (irony party of one your table is ready) but it often makes me feel bad. so i muted & unfollowed some ppl, including folks i actually like to avoid feelings of jealousy
- voice memos. while i love journaling some days my brain is too clouded to write. so i& #39;ve started recording memos where i just get everything out, sometimes they& #39;re sad other times they& #39;re deep & funny. it feels nice to listen to them wks later & see how far i& #39;ve already come
even though it& #39;s hard, sharing this stuff has really made me feel better. i felt like i was keeping a huge secret (bc i was lol) & anytime someone would ask about the pod or the dogs i just felt like shit. it& #39;s been a weight off to just say "here& #39;s where i& #39;m at"
i& #39;ve also really appreciated hearing from people who& #39;ve dealt with grief and divorce because it& #39;s made me feel less alone. it& #39;s also been mind blowing to realize how many women in my life are going through this same thing & feeling alone bc they& #39;re embarrassed by it.
lastly, despite all the crappy stuff it hasn& #39;t been all bad. my support system has been INCREDIBLE & a ton of weird funny things have happened during this process that i hope will show up in my writing at some point.
like who books a WEDDING show in the middle of their divorce?!? me i guess lol i ended up turning it down but trust the story is the makings of a supremely dark & hilarious comedy. then there was the quality of life checklist from the vet...the acronym was HMMM. just hysterical
arg i keep thinking of things to add to this self care list!
- future journaling. another suggestion from my therapist. when i find the energy to write, i pretend it& #39;s 2 yrs in the future & write about what happened that day & where i& #39;m at. it& #39;s really comforting.
- future journaling. another suggestion from my therapist. when i find the energy to write, i pretend it& #39;s 2 yrs in the future & write about what happened that day & where i& #39;m at. it& #39;s really comforting.
k last tweet for real lol promise this thread isn& #39;t me looking for sympathy/validation, it& #39;s just important for me to be honest. for the nosey folks, the divorce was a mutual decision but that doesn& #39;t make it any easier. that said i really do appreciate ya& #39;ll, thx for the love
wow. my mentions, DMs & heart are so full!! it’s gonna take a minute to comb through all the messages but in the meantime thanks for everyone’s love & support. taking the next few days off for work but i’ll be back friday w something very exciting to share! here’s a hint: 
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