Thread by @mikrojinniee, somebody pls help me there’s a gigantic fucking spider in my room [...]

somebody pls help me there’s a gigantic fucking spider in my room and it’s 2:30am and i just wanna fucking sleep

update: his name is timothy, and i just realized he’s slowly backing into the corner and onto the ceiling. i am now homeless.

another update: I’ve decided that i cannot face this monstrosity, so im sleeping with him tonight. goodnight everyone

last update: i just woke up, and this tweet exploded a bit

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Weary face" aria-label="Emoji: Weary face"> good morning everyone!! Timothy disappeared and now I don’t know where he is

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤩" title="Star-struck" aria-label="Emoji: Star-struck">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤩" title="Star-struck" aria-label="Emoji: Star-struck"> what a great way to start the day

before y’all laugh in the replies, pls let me just say our oceans are dying, stop using plastic, dont litter, use the proper sunscreen, and guaranteed, this spider will not haunt your in your sleep!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤩" title="Star-struck" aria-label="Emoji: Star-struck">

SO APPARENTLY THIS THING IS POISONOUS AND I JUST SLEPT WITH IT LAST NIGHT OHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK

I posted this on my ig stories and everyone’s just like “oh nice ... lol” but everyone in this bird app is freaking out

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> u guys r my people

currently doing a search in my room because i am NOT sleeping with Timothy in there again

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

" title="currently doing a search in my room because i am NOT sleeping with Timothy in there again https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">">

update: i did not
https://twitter.com/yeossluv/status/1146223681959596033?s=21">https://twitter.com/yeossluv/...

https://twitter.com/yeossluv/status/1146223681959596033?s=21

JSJSJSJSJ FOR EVERYONE ASKING IM NOT AUSTRALIAN, IM FILIPINO

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">man, yall must have seen some really traumatizing shit from there

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> https://twitter.com/bt25_/status/1146236218666913792?s=21">https://twitter.com/bt25_/sta...

https://twitter.com/bt25_/status/1146236218666913792?s=21

to everyone I’ve offended in tweeting this, I’m so sorry!! i should have put a tw, that’s on me. i just wanted to share what i felt about timothy, I promise

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> ᵇᵘᵗ ⁱ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿ’ᵗ ᶠᵒᵘⁿᵈ ʰⁱᵐ ˢᵒ visit the Philippines!!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food"> we have nice spiders

im not even kidding, I physically CANT enter my room anymore.

ohmygod

https://twitter.com/strayyykiddos/status/1146283705956229122?s=21">https://twitter.com/strayyyki...

https://twitter.com/strayyykiddos/status/1146283705956229122?s=21

so i finally found the balls to go back in

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏼" title="Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏼" title="Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)"> i searched everywhere except for the parts Timothy might be hiding in and could easily attack my face when he sees me KSJSJSJJJSAKSJAK

people are treating me like a superhero iM NOT IM JUST AN IDIOT SANDWICH

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

honestly how can timothy even hide he’s fucking humongous

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

ALRIGHT THATS IT IM CHECKING CCTV THERES NO WAY IM SLEEPING IN THAT ROOM AGAIN

where are you ya sick son of a bitch

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Face with look of triumph" aria-label="Emoji: Face with look of triumph">

where are you ya sick son of a bitch https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Face with look of triumph" aria-label="Emoji: Face with look of triumph">" title="where are you ya sick son of a bitch https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Face with look of triumph" aria-label="Emoji: Face with look of triumph">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Face with look of triumph" aria-label="Emoji: Face with look of triumph">">

GUYS OMSHDKSBJS PLEASE TELL ME YALL SEE THIS

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> THOSE ARE TIMOTHYS FUCKING LEGS OH MY GOD HE COULDNT GET THROUGH THE DOOR

THIS WAS AT EXACTLY 5:13 IN THE MORNING SJDJJSBSJS OH MY GOD DOES THIS MEAN ITS STILL IN MY ROOM

alright so,,, i never found Timothy, he never left the room. what the hell do i do with this information

i cant call pest control bc my parents think this is vERY NORMAL

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> they say timothy is just a house spider. i think it’s a fucking demon

update: im sleeping with Timothy again because i dont know where the FUCK he is

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> https://twitter.com/mikrojinniee/status/1146207191944142848?s=21">https://twitter.com/mikrojinn...

https://twitter.com/mikrojinniee/status/1146207191944142848?s=21

maybe if i turn the aircon up to it’s highest possible temperature, it’ll freeze to death

i actually slept at the foot of my bed last night so it doesn’t somehow fall on my face. anyway im abt to sleep, timmy pls come back so i can kill u

i am BLAMELESS with the fly swatter idea oKAY

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> I THOUGHT IT WIKIHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELIABLE

i am BLAMELESS with the fly swatter idea oKAY https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> I THOUGHT IT WIKIHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELIABLE" title="i am BLAMELESS with the fly swatter idea oKAY https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> I THOUGHT IT WIKIHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELIABLE" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I HAVE NOT

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> https://twitter.com/kwonhosookie/status/1146477589143248896?s=21">https://twitter.com/kwonhosoo...

https://twitter.com/kwonhosookie/status/1146477589143248896?s=21

it’s been 24 hourse since i realized timothy left me like a scared little bitch on a one night stand

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> you’ll all be happy to know that he did NOT crawl onto my body and face last night, and i slept like a baby KSNSKABSJNS IN OTHER WORDS I STILL HAVENT FOUND HIM

it’s been 24 hourse since i realized timothy left me like a scared little bitch on a one night stand https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> you’ll all be happy to know that he did NOT crawl onto my body and face last night, and i slept like a baby KSNSKABSJNS IN OTHER WORDS I STILL HAVENT FOUND HIM" title="it’s been 24 hourse since i realized timothy left me like a scared little bitch on a one night stand https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> you’ll all be happy to know that he did NOT crawl onto my body and face last night, and i slept like a baby KSNSKABSJNS IN OTHER WORDS I STILL HAVENT FOUND HIM" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I FOUND TIMOTHY FUCKSHSJBSJSVDJSBSHSH

IM LIVE TWEETING SKABALABSN FUCKING HELL TIMOTHY PLEASE LEAVE IM LITERALLY CRYING IM SHAKING

TIMOTHY I KNOW WE HAD SOMETHING THAT NIGHT BUT PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE MY ROOM YOU NEED TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH

what do i do KSJSKSBSJSN THIS IS SOME DORA AU SHIT JAJSJSJSJSH

here goes

I MISSED FUCKFDGBBBFSAGJN

THIS SLIPPER WORKED OMFGJSJSBD I HURLED IT AT HIM AND HE FELL AND NOW I TRAPPED HIM,,, but i think it’s dead

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏼" title="Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏼" title="Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">

THIS SLIPPER WORKED OMFGJSJSBD I HURLED IT AT HIM AND HE FELL AND NOW I TRAPPED HIM,,, but i think it’s dead https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏼" title="Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">" title="THIS SLIPPER WORKED OMFGJSJSBD I HURLED IT AT HIM AND HE FELL AND NOW I TRAPPED HIM,,, but i think it’s dead https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏼" title="Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Right pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏼" title="Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Left pointing backhand index (medium light skin tone)">">

rip Timothy. It’s been a good 2 days with you

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Pensive face" aria-label="Emoji: Pensive face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙏" title="Folded hands" aria-label="Emoji: Folded hands"> i hope you find spider heaven

WAIT NO ITS STILL ALIVE-

tw// closeup on timothy

why wont he fucking burn

hE CURLED UP DURING HIS LAST MOMENTS. DO SPIDERS NORMALLY SHRINK OR DID I JUST KILL A TIMOTHY IMPOSTER WHAT THE FUCKSBJSBDJS

should i dissect the corpse to check if i killed the right timothy

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">

,,, well shit

i think i need to end this thread now

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull"> im just going to have to believe that the spider i killed was timothy AJSKSJKSJS ITS CALLED LIVING IN DENIAL

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🗿" title="Moyai" aria-label="Emoji: Moyai">but if i ever find out that son of a bitch actually survived and went back for me, I’ll update you all about my suffering!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">

I didn’t expect this tweet to blow up honestly i-

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🗿" title="Moyai" aria-label="Emoji: Moyai"> thank u for enjoying it, im just happy i made you laugh!! i hope you NEVER get a timothy (unless u stream tonight by jin)

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">

-end-

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