im so fucking emotional over raphael!crowley im-

like. he. im. i cant articulate the thoughts

like. does heaven know? do they know their healer became the serpent or do they not care that much that they just cast him out and then pretended he didnt exist??? does crowley know??? does he remember being in the silver city with lucifer and michael and gabriel at the side of-

-the almighty?? does he remember helping create the universe with his archangelic siblings or does he just remember that he 'helped make that one'??? does gabriel know its him?? does he hate raph so much that he doesnt even think about him anymore?? that he doesnt care that he's-

-still out there?? is gabriel clueless?? are they all??? does michael look at that footage of zira and crowls over the centuries and just see a demon, rather than someone they were once close to?? do any of them even remember??? do they have vague memories of Another archangel-

-but no urge or desire to find out more bc whatever happened was part of the great plan so who are they to question it?? do they remember soaring through the cosmos in perfect synchronisation that can only be achieved when you are a Part of the beings you are surrounded by????-

-or are they well aware that there was another but just dont care?? do they know crowley is raph?? do they know and look down at him,, the pitiful healer, once glorious and bright and now darkened and stained, tainted and cursed by the Almighty?? do they know raph is One of the-

-demons but not know which one?? does hell know?? did they welcome another fallen archangel with repulsive and open arms? did they shudder and avoid the one that fell after the Fall?? how long did raph spend alone in the darkest pits raging and screaming at the almighty for what-

-she had done?? did he and lucifer mourn their falling together? or did lucifer cast him away too? they fell for different reasons after all,, lucifer refused to love these knew creations but raph loved them too much. did they fight? did lucifer cast him out of hell and onto-

-earth because 'if you love her creations so much why dont you stay with them'??? did raph drag his own way out of hell and decide he was going to stay on earth,, because if neither heaven nor hell wanted him then he would go where he wanted to go??? what about in the beginning?-

-was raph specifically told to get up there and make some trouble or was it just a whisper,, the demons murmuring amongst the ranks that someone was going to be chosen so raph stepped up and did it himself?? did zira recognise him?? did zira look at him and frown and think-

-'theres something familiar about you, i cant put my finger on it'??? did zira Know raph before??? was raph so terrified that it would be known what he became that he gave his new name to protect himself? because what if they were looking for him, what if they didnt know but-

-wanted to find him and destroy him?? what if gabriel and co wanted to punish him further?? if zira did find something familiar about him was that why it was so natural for him to offer his wing as cover from the rain??? i have so many fucking questions of my god